Spinning at the Seams

I rushed home after work; I had just managed to avoid Mallory’s questions by the ringing of the phone, Thank goodness for annoyed parents! As I walked into the house I heard voices arguing in the kitchen. I sighed following the voices, why can’t I avoid drama for one day? As I headed to the fridge, I was relived to note that Mom and Marc were simply arguing in slightly raised voices, and neither of them looked violent. I opened the fridge door, feeling the cool blast that hit my face. I quickly began to debate what to eat before I met Tristan at the mall. This trip was going to be strange enough without the awkwardness that would have been eating dinner alone with Tristan. I was debating between left over turkey and left over lasagna when I was interrupted by my Mom’s voice.

“Antonia, what do you know about this party tonight?” I shrugged, not much in all honesty. All I knew was that it was open to anyone and would probably be a drinking fest, but that was all.

“Uh, only that it’s being hosted by the Casen boys, and that it’s to celebrate the holidays before finals start, and people leave for vacation.” Mom nodded and looked back at Marc, who was giving me a relieved look.

“I don’t know, the last time I trusted you to go to a party you came home drunk, carried in by some unknown person in the middle of the night. And you know how I feel about strangers in this house without my prior consent.” I rolled my eyes as I grabbed the turkey from the fridge, Mom always freaked at people she didn’t know in the house, something about stranger danger, even though we were sixteen and our “strangers” were friends we’d had for years, who were only strange in the personality sense.

“Yeah, I know, and I’m getting a ride there, and a promised ride back with Rick, who is well known for not drinking, and being responsible.” I nearly dropped the turkey trying to hold back a snort at that. Rick was well known all right, but not for his alcohol abstinence or responsibility. But rather his tendency to get drunk, and forget every thing he was ever told. It was a miracle he still had the ability to kick a football, for all the drugs he did, and the grades he had. I was surprised when Mom bought that, and gave him the house key he needed, reminding him to be back by curfew. I doubted he would, curfew was at midnight and Mom didn’t get back from work till 5 A.M. I was just glad Olivia, Di, and Julia were at my grandparents tonight, saves me from having to cancel my plans for his.

“Are you going to the party, Antonia?” I jumped at the sound of my mom’s voice; I thought she’d left. I turned to look at her, she had a hopeful look on her face, probably hoping if I went I could keep Marc from doing whatever idiotic thing he planned to do. I knew the only thing that would do that was a miracle worker and I was short on those at the moment, so I just shook my head.

“No, actually I have plans to go Christmas shopping, need me to get anything?” My mom shook her head, and then walked out to the garage. The house was quiet as the garage door opened, and Mom’s car pulled out headed to work.

“Thanks.” I looked up from the plate I was putting together startled. Marc never thanked me for anything, just took it then bolted.

“Oh, um you’re welcome.” I said confusion evident in my voice; he nodded and left pulling his cell phone out of his pocket as he went. I just shook my head, was I in the Twilight zone?

When I reached the mall, Tristan was waiting for me, his frame leaning against the wall of JC Penny. He had a list in one hand, and a credit card in the other; I raised an eyebrow, curious as to who would trust Tristan with a credit card.

“Hey Toni, so I have my list of people, and what they said to get them and money, should we go?” I nodded, and took the list from his hands, skimming the names, and debating the best place to start. I froze startled as I settled on a name.

“Hey, Tristan, why is my name on the list?” I was confused, Tristan and I never bought each other gifts.

“Because your birthday’s coming up, isn’t it?” He asked, a thoughtful and troubled look settling on his face.

“Well yeah, but I didn’t get you anything for you birthday.” I recalled, trying to figure out why he would get me something.

“Yes you did, you got me those pens remember, said that it was the perfect gift because I was always asking to borrow yours.” I nodded, I remembered, but I meant it as a joke.

“Yeah, but that was a joke, and you really don’t have to get me anything.” Tristan just shook his head.

“No, a gift’s a gift, so now I have to get you something for your birthday, speaking of which, are you having a party?” I rolled my eyes, what was this party town?

“No, no party, I think I’ll probably just have a quiet night at home. Based off the list we should-” Tristan grabbed my arm, and stopped me from finishing my sentence.

“You are not having a quiet night at home, it’s your birthday. What did you do last year?” I sighed, I knew he wouldn’t like my answer.

“I went out to dinner with Olivia, Diana, and Julia.” He motioned for me to continue.

“That’s it, mom had work, and I have no idea what Marc did.” Tristan looked incredulous.

“Your going to be seventeen in two weeks, and you plan to spend it with a dinner?” I shrugged, I didn’t like parties, and I really just wanted something quiet.

“No, tell you what, Toni, I’ll throw you a party.” I whirled to fully face him, but he continued before I could protest. “Nothing big, just the journalism kids, and a few of your non-journalism friends. We can’t have it near your birthday of course, you can thank our school’s idea of torture for that.” I rolled my eyes; only Tristan would see them as torture. “But we can have it after the holiday break.” I debated this, I knew that whether I wanted it or not Tristan would throw this party. I might as well let him.

“Alright fine, now can we get back to shopping please? I’m not getting any younger here.” Tristan let go, and muttered something I couldn’t catch, before following me further into the mall.

It was near nine and I was standing in Claire’s with Tristan, who looked really uncomfortable. I was trying to decided which necklace would be best for Olivia when my phone starting going off. I looked down, surprised to see Shannon’s number flashing on my caller id.

“Shannon?” I said, I could hear loud music in the background; she must be at the party, so why was she calling me?

“TONI, YOU NEED TO COME HERE NOW!” I held the phone away from my ear, and tried to make sense of what she just said.

“What, Why? I told you I don’t do parties.” I heard something crash on the other end and Shannon muttered a curse word under her breath.

“NOT FOR ME, YOUR BROTHER, HE HAS DECIDED TO TRY AND TURN THIS INTO FIGHT CLUB.” I frowned, where was Rick, and who was my brother fighting?

“Rick’s his ride home, and I’m a half hour or so away.” I heard Shannon mutter another curse word.

“WELL RICK PASSED OUT AN HOUR AGO, MARC’S A LITTLE INTOXICATED SO I TOOK RICK’S KEYS TO KEEP HIM FROM LEAVING. AND I THINK YOU NEED TO GET HERE NOW, I DON’T THINK JEREMY CAN HOLD BACK YOUR BROTHER FOR LONG.” I heard another crash, and Shannon shouted something. I sighed, once again Marc had ruined my night. I closed the phone and turned to Tristan.

“Sorry T, but I’ve got to go, brother trouble calls.” He nodded, a sad look coming to his face.

“No worries, my shopping’s done, I’ll walk you out.” I put down the necklaces I was considering, not choosing either one, choosing rather to go get my brother.

I had to park a block away from the party, there were cars everywhere. As I neared the house the music got louder, and people were spilling out, red cups in their hands. I walked forward trying to find the most sober looking one, hoping to find where my brother was. I tapped a girl on the shoulder, she turned and I held back a scowl.

“Oh, it’s you. What do you want?” Tiffany asked, flipping her blond hair over her shoulder. I fought back the urge to hit her.

“My brother, where is he.” Tiffany shrugged, and motioned to the house.

“Inside.” I pushed past her, knocking the beer of the person next to her onto her tight shirt. She gasped and I smirked, continuing on to find Marc. It didn’t take long, in the middle of the living room stood my brother. He was being held by arms by Jeremy and Jake Casen, across from him was Carter Canes, the football team quarterback, and all around jerk. Miles and Tim Casen were holding back a glaring Carter. I took in the scene before me. Marc looked ready to kill Carter. He lunged forward, causing Jake and Jeremy to nearly let go. I groaned, Marc looked a little drunk, and Carter looked very sober. I pushed my way through the crowd that had formed around them screaming ‘Fight!’ Miles was screaming that there was going to be no fighting, and I came to stand next to Jake.

“JAKE,” I screamed over the music, he strained to face me and hold my brother at the same time; he looked relieved to see me.

“THANK GOD, I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK I WOULD LOSE MY ARMS, CALM HIM DOWN.” I nodded and went to stand in front of Marc. He didn’t see me as he was looking above me at Carter, trying to break free of the brothers’ grasp.

“MARC!” I screamed, clapping my hands in his face. He looked down at me, and his face got hard.

“LEAVE TONI! THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU!” I rolled my eyes, like I didn’t know that, and yet here I was.

“IT DOES CONCERN ME, MOM WILL KILL YOU IF YOU BEAT SOMEONE UP, AND COME BACK SMELLING LIKE ALCOHOL AND YOU KNOW THAT! SO WE’RE LEAVING NOW!” Marc didn’t budge, so I did what any girl would do, I jumped and grabbed my brother’s ear between my two fingers tightly. He bent down and winced. I leaned into his ear.

“We are leaving now. No buts, I don’t care what Carter did, I don’t care what your friends think, we are leaving now.” With that I started moving, dragging my brother with me. We passed Tiffany on the way out, and she just laughed at my brother’s predicament. He looked hurt, but I didn’t have time to deal with this.

I was fuming as I pushed him into the car and started it. I was having fun, Tristan was cool to hang out with, I was almost done shopping, and Marc once again ruins my night, I should have just left him. But you wouldn’t, you couldn’t, no matter how much he hurt you in the past, you continue to forgive him and help him, anything to get closer to him, shut up, I tried to get the voice to stop, but it continued oblivious to my pleas. 'You don’t want to hate him, you want to be close, and you look at other brothers and sisters and wish you could have what they do. The happiness, the love, too bad your dad took that away from you.' I gulped, trying to keep my eyes from tearing. I didn’t have to try long, Marc broke my thoughts.

“Why would she do it?”

“Do what?” I asked distracted, trying to figure out which way to turn.

“Cheat on me, I thought she loved me.” Oh, Tiffany.

“She’s Tiffany West, the only person she loves is herself.” I said calmly, I never really knew the attraction, she was an egotistical jerk.

“But, she told me she loved me.” I groaned, he sounded like a girl.

“Yeah, look she’ll tell anyone any thing if it gets her what she wants.” I watched the road in front of me. Marc was quiet for a while.

“I caught her with Carter.” I turned slightly to look at him; he was looking at his hands.

“Oh.” That explained the attempted brawl.

“She told me that she wanted to be with him now, and that he was the baby’s father. That she hadn’t really liked me, I was just someone she dated out of pity.” I watched my brother’s face fall as he said this.

“She’s Tiffany, Marc, she lies. She didn’t deserve you anyway.” I really wished I was Hunter right now, he’d know what to say.

“Yeah, maybe. But that doesn’t change anything.” I sighed, and put the car in park on the side of the road.

“No, nothing changes what has happened Marc, and nothing can. We just have to pick up the pieces and move on, and hope and pray that no one breaks them again.” Marc looked at me thoughtfully.

“You know I admire you.” I froze, that was an odd thing to come out of his mouth.

“Um, I admire you too?” I tried, hoping it was the right thing to say. Marc shook his head.

“No, I admire the way you are willing to drop everything you want to help everyone else pick up their lives, while yours is being held together by nothing more then pure luck.” I could feel the voice in my head cheering, it was right.

“My life’s not held together by luck. If anything it’s held together by a piece of tape, one I’m hoping no one rips off.” Marc nodded, and then looked back at me.

“What happened? Why are we like this?” I frowned confused.

“Like what? Like us? It’s called genetics Marc.” He shook his head.

“No, like this, where our conversations only happen when bad things occur, why don’t we talk normally?” I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly letting the answer come to me.

“Because we were broken Marc, we were broken and left, and now this is the only way we can be ourselves. We’re scared to talk, because then we have to let each other in, and neither of us wants to admit that something’s wrong. We’re twins Marc, competition rules our lives. Neither of us wants to admit weakness that’s why,” I said, I didn’t intend for it to come our rude, but it was true. He just nodded then went back to staring out the window, I watched him then put the car into drive, hoping that I hadn’t just severed our connection forever.