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Manage Me, I'm a mess
t w e l v e
When I got outside, everyone looked at me. I smiled awkwardly, sitting on the couch. I looked to see Alex glaring at me. I blinked and looked to both my sides.
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just I heard about your secret singing abilities THAT YOU NEVER TOLD ME
ABOUT!” he yelled. My eyes widened in fake surprise.
“Oh, that. It’s nothing. I’m not even good.” I waved my hand in the air.
“That’s not what I heard,” he said, looking away and crossing his arms.
“Don’t lie, Serena.” Jack said, then turned to Alex. “She’s fucking good.”
“So you’ve decided to forget trying to come up with a nickname?” I asked, trying to change
the subject. His eyes narrowed.
“Stop trying to change the subject!” He said. I sighed in frustration. “Why didn’t you tell us? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT ALEX AND I FEEL PRETTY GODDAMN HURT RIGHT NOW!” Jack looked like he was about to cry.
“Because it’s no big deal!” I huffed.
“Serena, you’re good enough to land a record deal! IT’S A HUGE DEAL!” Jack said. I rolled my eyes.
“I am not.”
“Yes you are. What song was it anyway?” he asked. I swallowed hard.
“Oh it was an oldie…” I looked away.
“What’s it called?”
“I…I don’t remember.”
“Who’s it by?”
“I don’t know.” I said, quietly.
“Why won’t you tell us the song? So many secrets…” he whispered the last part in disgust.
Alex still had his arms crossed and was looking the other way, shaking his head.
“I wrote it! I wrote the fucking song, okay?”
“And you would not tell us that because…?” he asked.
“Because it’s something I do for myself! It was for me and only me!” I yelled, standing up and running to my room. After a couple minutes of crying, I heard a knock.
“Go away!” I said.
“It’s me,” Sophia’s voice said. I stayed silent. She took that as a ‘come in’ and sat beside me on the bed. “I heard from the washroom…” she trailed off. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. “The guys feel really bad…” I scoffed and looked away. “They didn’t mean to be so nosey…”
“What did they mean then? You don’t understand, Soph. Singing and song writing are…are mine. It was something I did for myself. Not for anyone. Just me.” I whispered the last part.
“I know, sweetie…but they were going to find out sometime. And yes, they were both being total assholes, but don’t you think you overreacted just a tiny bit?” she asked. I cast my eyes downward.
“But why is Alex so mad? It’s not like I have to tell him everything.”
“Of course you don’t. But maybe he felt like, you would want to tell him everything. And when you didn’t, he felt hurt.”
“But he shouldn’t! I haven’t told anyone! It’s not like I was keeping a secret from him!”
“Then tell him that.” She said.
There. She did it. She had me come to the solution rather than telling me herself. That’s what I loved about Soph, she always had the greatest advice but she made you feel like you’re the one who figured it out.
A few minutes later, we both walked out of the bedroom. Jack ran up to me apologizing profusely. He clutched at my knees, crying out hysterically. Dramatic, as always.
“SERENA I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE!” he yelled.
“Dude, man up!” Zack yelled as Rian watched, shaking his head. I laughed.
“Jacky, Jacky, get up. It’s okay, you’re forgiven.” I said, pulling him up.
“OH THANK GOD!” he yelled and hugged me so tight, I could barely breathe.
“Jacky, stop it. I said you’re forgiven, that doesn’t mean you can kill me with your monster hugs.” I laughed. He let go. “I have to talk to Alex for a second okay?” Alex sat in the corner, looking like he felt bad but still not wanting to talk to me. I walked over to him.
“Sorry.” He said. I shook my head.
“That’s not why I wanted to talk to you,” I said. “Alex, I’ve never told anyone about…my song writing and singing and stuff.”
“But why?”
“Don’t you have something you do when your super happy or really sad? Something to get the emotions out?”
“I guess. Guitar.” He mumbled. I smiled.
“See? I write songs. I know you do too, but you want to share them. I’m not ready for that. And I guess, it’s been a part of me for so long, I liked that nobody knew. I liked that it was something I would always have, just for me.” I said.
“Okay, I guess I get it.”
“And you know that if I decided to tell anyone, it would be you first. Always you, okay?” He smiled and nodded. I hugged him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He hugged me back tightly.
“So, when do I get to meet Gabe?” As if on cue, the bus screeched to a halt.
“Um, now, it seems.” He said, as everyone got up.
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just I heard about your secret singing abilities THAT YOU NEVER TOLD ME
ABOUT!” he yelled. My eyes widened in fake surprise.
“Oh, that. It’s nothing. I’m not even good.” I waved my hand in the air.
“That’s not what I heard,” he said, looking away and crossing his arms.
“Don’t lie, Serena.” Jack said, then turned to Alex. “She’s fucking good.”
“So you’ve decided to forget trying to come up with a nickname?” I asked, trying to change
the subject. His eyes narrowed.
“Stop trying to change the subject!” He said. I sighed in frustration. “Why didn’t you tell us? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT ALEX AND I FEEL PRETTY GODDAMN HURT RIGHT NOW!” Jack looked like he was about to cry.
“Because it’s no big deal!” I huffed.
“Serena, you’re good enough to land a record deal! IT’S A HUGE DEAL!” Jack said. I rolled my eyes.
“I am not.”
“Yes you are. What song was it anyway?” he asked. I swallowed hard.
“Oh it was an oldie…” I looked away.
“What’s it called?”
“I…I don’t remember.”
“Who’s it by?”
“I don’t know.” I said, quietly.
“Why won’t you tell us the song? So many secrets…” he whispered the last part in disgust.
Alex still had his arms crossed and was looking the other way, shaking his head.
“I wrote it! I wrote the fucking song, okay?”
“And you would not tell us that because…?” he asked.
“Because it’s something I do for myself! It was for me and only me!” I yelled, standing up and running to my room. After a couple minutes of crying, I heard a knock.
“Go away!” I said.
“It’s me,” Sophia’s voice said. I stayed silent. She took that as a ‘come in’ and sat beside me on the bed. “I heard from the washroom…” she trailed off. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. “The guys feel really bad…” I scoffed and looked away. “They didn’t mean to be so nosey…”
“What did they mean then? You don’t understand, Soph. Singing and song writing are…are mine. It was something I did for myself. Not for anyone. Just me.” I whispered the last part.
“I know, sweetie…but they were going to find out sometime. And yes, they were both being total assholes, but don’t you think you overreacted just a tiny bit?” she asked. I cast my eyes downward.
“But why is Alex so mad? It’s not like I have to tell him everything.”
“Of course you don’t. But maybe he felt like, you would want to tell him everything. And when you didn’t, he felt hurt.”
“But he shouldn’t! I haven’t told anyone! It’s not like I was keeping a secret from him!”
“Then tell him that.” She said.
There. She did it. She had me come to the solution rather than telling me herself. That’s what I loved about Soph, she always had the greatest advice but she made you feel like you’re the one who figured it out.
A few minutes later, we both walked out of the bedroom. Jack ran up to me apologizing profusely. He clutched at my knees, crying out hysterically. Dramatic, as always.
“SERENA I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE!” he yelled.
“Dude, man up!” Zack yelled as Rian watched, shaking his head. I laughed.
“Jacky, Jacky, get up. It’s okay, you’re forgiven.” I said, pulling him up.
“OH THANK GOD!” he yelled and hugged me so tight, I could barely breathe.
“Jacky, stop it. I said you’re forgiven, that doesn’t mean you can kill me with your monster hugs.” I laughed. He let go. “I have to talk to Alex for a second okay?” Alex sat in the corner, looking like he felt bad but still not wanting to talk to me. I walked over to him.
“Sorry.” He said. I shook my head.
“That’s not why I wanted to talk to you,” I said. “Alex, I’ve never told anyone about…my song writing and singing and stuff.”
“But why?”
“Don’t you have something you do when your super happy or really sad? Something to get the emotions out?”
“I guess. Guitar.” He mumbled. I smiled.
“See? I write songs. I know you do too, but you want to share them. I’m not ready for that. And I guess, it’s been a part of me for so long, I liked that nobody knew. I liked that it was something I would always have, just for me.” I said.
“Okay, I guess I get it.”
“And you know that if I decided to tell anyone, it would be you first. Always you, okay?” He smiled and nodded. I hugged him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He hugged me back tightly.
“So, when do I get to meet Gabe?” As if on cue, the bus screeched to a halt.
“Um, now, it seems.” He said, as everyone got up.
♠ ♠ ♠
READ THIS!Isn't it ironic that as soonas I get a long chapter out, it's like this total shit chapter? Seriously, hate this.
But anywho, got lots to say today!
Number 1) I am sick. So sick, in fact, that my stomach is now hurting from coughing so much. On one hand, it really kills. On the other hand, it seems to be seriously hardening my abs! Not that I'd ever do this on purpose...like, EVER. But yeah, that's the reason I haven't posted...I've been puking and coughing and sniffling all over the place. Not pleasant, I tell you.
Number 2) Um, so I keep trying to figure out mibba...but I can't. I want to put some things in italic and also I don't know how to post links. I'm usually very techie and everyone on this site seems to have no problem at all with those things so it's making me feel quite dumb. So anyone who is a mastermind at those two and just at mibba, in general, I would love you forever if you MESSAGED ME. See? I'd love to put those words in bold. But I can't. See how much I need help?
xoxocommentxoxo