Falling on Dead Ears

Rolling my eyes I sighed as my aunt began yelling at me again. This was supposed to be my safety, my hide-a-way from the real world that had rejected me. Many people didn’t understand me, or my ‘weird’ hand gestures. So after several years of trying to communicate with my roommate, and getting no where, and trying to communicate with the community and only getting used because of my lack of hearing and need to fit in I ran away.

This use to be a place where I was accepted as a young girl, but now as an adult I was constantly yelled at verbally and physically. My aunt half the time couldn’t remember I couldn’t actually hear her, which got me in more trouble. Vibrations on my back aren’t unusual with my aunt and uncle always around. They were always yelling at each other and now I was taking the brunt for most of it.

Standing I moved away from her, letting my bare feet drag. Pushing the sliding glass door open a smile hit my face as the warm summer breeze hit my body and pushed through my hair. Closing the door I hurried down the back deck and the hill, letting the dirt kick up as I went. Some days I was grateful I was deaf, if people wanted to deal with me they couldn’t just scream at me to get my attention, they had to make full contact.

Sitting on the edge of my aunt’s dock I let me feet hang in the water, my hands gripping the rough wood lightly. Everything was so calm, so peaceful.

Swirling the water with my feet I smiled at its stillness today, not a boat out on the water. It was like everyone took the day to stay inside. Which made it a perfect day for me to venture outside, no uncomfortable encounters.

Pressing my palm to the dock I stared confused. It had moved, vibrations had rippled through the old wood. Turning I glanced up at Travis standing a few feet onto the dock. Waving he continued the short journey over and sat next to me, stick his shoe clad feet into the water.

Turning back to the water I nibbled and worried the inside of my lip. This was awkward.

He gently tapped my leg getting my attention. He didn’t seem to try and talk to get my attention. His smile was almost blinding as I looked up at him. He waved like an excited little kid.

Waving back I looked back at the water, still swirling my feet. My smile grew as he nudged my foot gently with his. Glancing back up I pointed at my head and shook my head no, then pointed at him. He frowned.

‘I don’t know sign language.’ He shrugged lightly. I watched his thin lips. ‘But, I do want to get to know you.’ I blinked trying to figure out a way to pose my simple question of why?.

Taking in a deep breath I ran my hand over my mouth. Turning back to him he lifted a finger, stood up, and ran off. Boys are weird.

I frowned as his quickly retreating form. He was quick as every muscle in his back and legs flexed and worked to push him as fast as they could. It was interesting to see a man nearly fly with wet shoes on.

Turning back to the water I leaned forward, leaning on my knees and watched the small ripples my legs made. Something soo utterly simple as barely moving my leg made such and effect on the large body of water. The ripple carried a good distance as a watched it.

The splash next to me made me look up at Travis sitting next to me, his legs plunged into the water as he fumbled with a pen and a pad of paper. Taking it from him I sighed deeply and began scribbling across the pure white page.

‘Why are you bothering?’ Handing it to him I leaned back on my hands watching him. His frown was heartbreaking as he turned to me, not bothering with the pen and pad of paper.

‘Am I bothering you? Because I’ll leave.’ Stretching my hand out he gently placed the pad and paper in my hand.

‘No, I mean why are you bothering to talk with me. Most people run the other way or treat me like I’m mentally challenged when they find out I’m deaf.’ I just held the pad up so he could read it. His eyes seemed to trace the words with concern and understanding.

‘I’m bothering because you seem like a nice person and I like meeting new people. Don’t you?’ He questioned.

Leaning forward I flipped the page and tapped the pen, trying to think of the right words. Everything was about words, you couldn’t sign random things. Internal monologs don’t come out in sign language. They stay inside unlike over active loquacious people.

Glancing at the pad I took my time writing out my words this time. Holding it up by my shoulder I watched him from just over the pad.

‘It’s easier to stay away from people who will abuse you for what you don’t have.’ He frowned again.

‘Then they’re dicks and you’re not meeting the right people.’ I liked feeling the vibration of his words against my face. It meant I wasn’t alone and his words were soft, unlike my aunts.

‘Maybe but I have a whole city thinking I’ve been playing them for five years.’ He frowned at that. Quickly flipping to a new page I wrote: ‘It’s a small town, I was the only deaf person under the age of sixty.’ He nodded understandingly and smiled at me.

‘Well I believe you.’ smiling I placed my finger tips against the front of my chin and pushed it away from my face. He shook his head at me and narrowed his brows. I wrote the gestures simple meaning on my pad. ‘oh…this,’ he repeated the gesture. ‘means thank-you?’ I nodded. He pursed his lips and nodded. ‘what’s you’re welcome?’ I lifted my right hand, he imitated watching my hand, as I watched his face. I simply glided my hand out away from my body and curved it back into my body near my upper abdomen. He repeated.

Picking up the pad I wrote it down: ‘You are welcome’

‘That’s easy.’ He smiled. Licking my lips I turned the page and began writing.

‘Language is easy if you don’t question the why.’ He nodded and smiled at me.

‘Why are you here? If you don’t mind me asking...’ He stated a smile on his face made it harder to read his lips with how they stretched over his teeth.

Handing him the pad I smiled.

‘Avoiding reality while figuring things out…it’s not going to well.’ The dock shook slightly and I looked up at my Uncle. Placing my right thumb under my chin and the side of my hand to my face I pushed it away from my upwards slightly, greeting him. He returned the gesture before moving his hands at me.

Frowning I rubbed my right palm over the center of my chest before pulling it away and pushing my finger tips into the palm of my left hand several times. My uncle frowned and waved a hand walking away. Knocking on the wooden dock I hoped he’d turn back around. He didn’t.

Shaking my head I glanced at Travis looking between us confused.

‘what’s…’ He rubbed his palm over the center of his chest before pushing his finger tips into his other palm. ‘mean?’ I picked the pad and paper back up.

‘Please repeat.’ He redid the gesture. Laughing I wrote about it. ‘it’s what it means.’ He laughed rubbing the back of his neck nodding. Apart of me had never wanted to hear someone laugh so badly before. I bet it was beautiful, his laugh.

“I fell like an idiot now.’ He admitted a soft blush across his tan cheeks a sheepish smile creeping onto his features. Smiling I patted his shoulder. ‘that doesn’t help!’ The look of overwhelming shock and surprise made me giggle. He was being over dramatic. ‘I forgot for a moment, that you’re only deaf, not mute too.’ He was still smiling yet a kind of kindness had worked its way into his hazel-brown eyes.

We sat like that for hours. We played a twisted game of twenty questions that was far longer than twenty-questions. I showed him how to sign simple things while we talked and when he asked about certain things. He simply seemed curious. Like a kid finally getting to use a new phone or computer. And that analogy makes me sad, because kids always get bored with their new toys in no time flat. I didn’t want to be that new toy that’ll get abandoned after a few days.

‘I should go, it’s getting late.’ I wrote before handing him the pad. Standing he smiled, crossed his arms tightly over his chest before holding them open. Smiling I stepped into them hugging him tightly.

Waving I began heading back up the hill towards my aunts house. My eyes wandered over my shoulder as I looked back at him just standing there on the dock, a small smile on his face.

I really hoped I wasn’t his new toy.