Oh Baby, You Can Do So Much Better.

I sat on my bed doing homework, school had started two weeks ago and I already had like five fucking projects. It was only eight at night and I could hear the television downstairs blaring whatever program my parents happened to be watching. It was nice having both my parents home at the same time, it rarely happened because my dad was always on random business trips. I sometimes wondered how they stayed together when they were never actually together. My thoughts were cut off by the ringing of my cell phone. “Hello?” I answered before looking at the caller id, it was probably just Laney calling to talk about something random. “Can you come pick me up?” Alex asked, he sounded really messed up. “Where are you?” I asked as I got off my bed and grabbed my keys. “I'm outside my house” he said as his voice cracked, it sounded like he was crying. “Why do you need me to pick you up then?” I was confused as to why he would need a ride if he was already home. “They kicked me out...” he trailed off quietly. “Ok, I'll be there in like 10 minutes” I said as I hung up the phone.
“Where do you think you're going? Its a school night...” my mom said when I reached the bottom of the stairs. “I need to run to the drugstore really fast, I'll be right back” I lied as I left the house, walking down the driveway to my car.

I pulled up outside the Gaskarth home about 8 minutes later seeing Alex sitting on the curb smoking what was obviously a joint. When he noticed my car he got up and slowly and threw it to the ground before he made his way to the car. He had been crying earlier, that was obvious. He got into the car and I immediately smelled the weed. I started driving back home as soon as his door closed. I was slightly pissed off, he knew how much I hated when he did that.
“What happened?” I asked as I kept my eyes on the road.
“They found out about the drugs, and the partying” Alex said, he sounded so guilty, it was pathetic.
“I'm sure they knew before” I said. There was no way they couldn't have, he never really tried to cover up his pot habit. “They didn't know about the coke” he said with a guilty tone.
“What?!” I yelled, slamming on my breaks. Coke, as in cocaine? How? I would have noticed if he was doing something worse than pot...wouldn't I?
“You heard me” he said with that same guilty tone. “Since when do you do fucking cocaine Alex?!” I yelled as I looked at him. “Not long, its only been a couple times, please just calm down” he pleaded. I kept driving until I realized I had no idea where I was supposed to be taking him. “Am I dropping you off at Jack's?” I asked, it was to early for him to come over and my parents would never let him stay if they saw him. “He's not home, he went on a date with some girl in your grade...I don't wanna ruin this for him. I always ruin it and I just want him to be able to like a girl without me fucking it up. I fuck up all his relationships and I hate it, I'm such a bad friend” he sounded so sad. “Well, where do you expect me to take you?” I asked, he should know that my parents wouldn't go to bed for another two hours at least. “Lets just go to the park or something..” he said as I turned the car and headed towards the park.

We sat in silence after I had parked the car, I could feel the tension sitting in the air. “Can you say something, please?” Alex asked as I turned my head to look over at him. “What do you want me to say, Alex? That its okay and I understand why you started doing cocaine?! Fucking cocaine, Alex!” I yelled. “It was only a couple times” he looking at me, he wasn't lying that much I could tell. “Never again Alex, I put up with this whole thing being a secret, and your weed, and you fucking Lisa and then crawling into my bed expecting me to cuddle with you! And I do too! I seriously don't know why I'm still putting up with your shit!” I couldn't help it, I was screaming. I was always there for him and I was seriously starting to doubt he would do the same for me. “Fine! Never again, I'm over the coke anyways! And you love me, that's why you put up with all my shit! You know I want to be with you, but you know I can't!” he screamed back. This was the first time we had ever really let loose these emotions with each other, it felt good. “Why Alex?! Why can't you fucking be with me? Why am I just your sideline hoe, while you have Lisa?!” I yelled back. “You're not! I love you so much! I'm only with Lisa so I don't hurt you! Everyone I get close to I hurt...” his yells broke into sobs as he put his face in his palms. For once I was literally speechless, all the anger had left my body and I was left feeling like shit, I knew how Alex was, and I knew he wasn't over Daniel's death. His brother was so important to him and it hurt Alex so much knowing they were fighting when he died. “I just hurt everyone...” he sobbed. I unbuckled my seat belt and leaned over so I could wrap my arms around him. “Shh baby, its okay. Its not your fault and you know it” I tried to console him as sobs attacked his body. “It is my fault, he's dead and I was such a dick..” I had never seen Alex cry so hard in all the time we'd spent together. It was the saddest moment of my life.

We pulled up to my house at about 11:30, I knew my parents had probably gone to bed by now. We made the trek up to my room being quiet so we didn't wake them with our footsteps. When we got into my room Alex locked the door and lightly pushed me against it, kissing me fiercely. He was an amazing kisser and I kissed him back with the same amount of passion if not more. Our tongues fought for dominance as he pulled my shirt over my head. We stumbled for the bed, and soon our clothes were on the floor. “I love you so much” he whispered as he looked down at me. “I love you too” I responded before reaching over into my nightstand and grabbing a condom. I handed it to him before I kissed him once more. Our night then continued in the same never ending cycle.