Oh Baby, You Can Do So Much Better.

My mother was not to pleased to hear her daughter had lost her virginity, irresponsibly at that. She took me to CVS and bought me the morning after pill, even though she had been assured that no sex would happen in the near future she insisted on buying me a box of condoms as well. Needless to say the checkout line was embarassing.
Later that night I decided to call Luke, some serious back tracking had to be made in our relationship. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I hadn't really wanted to have sex with him I had just wanted to get even with Alex. He got laid, why shouldn't I?
"Hey baby" he answered, Luke's voice was hot, but not as hot as Alex's...I really need to stop thinking that way.
"Hey! I need to talk to you about something" I responded, I could hear the fakeness in my voice, how he couldn't tell was a mystery.
"Ok..?" He said sounding confused.
"Its just last night, I sound really stupid saying this but even though we had sex I really wasn't ready. I think it was the alcohol that got to me because I kinda lost my virginity to you last night and I just wasn't ready...can we slow down? I still wanna be your girlfriend I just wanna get to know you better before we have sex again" I rushed out. I felt bad lying to him about it all, I mean I was obviously not a virgin before I had sex with Luke, and it wasn't that I wasn't ready to have sex with him, I just didn't like it. Truthfully he was kind of small, nothing compared to Alex. Then again no one would ever compare to Alex, as hard as I was trying to get over him it just wasn't working.
"Yeah babe, taking it slow is totally fine with me. I mean last night we didn't have to, I'm sorry if I made you feel pressured or something.." he trailed off. It was really sweet of him to apologize for that, it just made me feel worse about lying though. Luke was a great guy and he really didn't deserve to be lied to.
"Thanks for understanding babe, you're really sweet. I gotta go but I'm really glad you understand" this whole conversation made me hate myself even more. Stupid Alex and his fucking cute face.
"Kay, bye babe. I'll see you tomorrow at school."
We hung up the phone and I just sat their on my bed. Next Saturday was halloween, Alex's favorite holiday. Last halloween he even got a tattoo showing how much he loved it, I smiled at the memory and wondered what I would be doing this year, obviously not hanging out with Alex. I'd probably end up at some lame party with Luke. My phone vibrated signaling a new text, I opened it to see it was from someone I wouldn't have expected.

I'm sorry about the party.
-Alex.