Who Says Love Has to Be Left up to Fate?

Chapter twenty four :Confessions in the Night Part two

The boys really did let Joe have it. It’s true that Joe hadn’t been a great boyfriend then and there. It’s nice that he wanted to make me happy but it shouldn’t be at the expense of his girlfriend. He should care more about making her happy if he liked her more than me. Feeling like I was a guilty part taker in this, I focused on my conversation with Demi and let out a breath of relief when Joe finally stood up and sprinted back towards the house.

“I just don’t get Joe,” sighed Demi. “I love him to death, and he can be smooth as a fox with the ladies, but sometimes he misses that whole point.” I nodded and let her continue.

“He did have quite a few girl friends in a short amount of years, I admit to that, since I was one of them, but-“

“Yes?” she gave me a sad smile and I knew it still could hurt her to think about it.

“Well I’ve found it’s a lot more fun to have him as my best friend than my boyfriend. He is great at chatting up and seducing, but maintaining the connection isn’t his forte. I mean don’t get me wrong, Joe has amazing qualities and knows how to really love, just look at him and his family. Plus Annabelle was never a good idea, he doesn’t pick his girlfriends for the right reasons, and so he never truly loves them wholly. I was an exception in a way, but not completely, so we both back out anonymously. Whoever wins his heart, will have to be someone he loves inside an out with no ulterior motive.”

“Is that impossible?”

“Well let’s just say she’ll have to be as unlikely as you Olive?”

“So probably never?” she shrugged.

I sat back and thought about what Demi had confided me, and I thought back to all the glimpse of headlines I had read. It did seem that Joe took less time picking girls than let’s say Nick or most definitively Kevin. But I knew he knew how to treat a lady, like be all romantic, which was rare.

I was going to restart my conversation with Demi when Nick interrupted.

“Olive, come on. I’ll take you to the place Joe wanted to show you. It will be the perfect place to see these fireworks you won’t stop talking about,” he held out his hand which I went to take before turning to take one last look at Demi. She was watching the candle in front of her intensely and fiddling with her cell phone in her lap. Soon I would have to have a full conversation with her about she and Joe’s past. I hurt me to not know what made her so sad. Did she regret losing Joe? Or that she hadn’t found someone to really love yet? Either way I hoped to make her feel better by giving her advice. But what did I know? I’ve never been in love nor had a boyfriend.

“Olive? You wouldn’t mind joining me would you?” asked worriedly Nick, seeing me pause. I contemplated going or staying with Demi.

“Go Olive, I can see them fine from here, plus I am not too fond of heights. Go! And make sure to cheer Nick up. The last time he watched fireworks it was with Selena, before…well before.” She said the last bit so that only I would hear with a genuine smile that made my mind up.

Nick led me away from the crowd and towards the back side wall of the house where a tall ladder was fixed into it. He smiled but said nothing and made sign for me to go up first.

“No, that’s very gentleman like of you, but you go first.”

“No way, up you go. I know my manners.”

“Seriously I rather you go first.”

“Please Olive tell me you’re not one of these girls. Don’t you realize it make me happy to be all courteous for you. I simply want-“

“My underwear!” I hissed losing all subtlety I wanted to maintain. “Skirts like these reveal quite a bit, so you may go first. Okay?” He blushed fiercely and immediately looked down at my skirt then twisted his neck away in the opposite direction.

“Right, my bad. I’ll go first. I just wanted to be able to catch you if you fell or something.”

“I wouldn’t have fallen, Nick,”

“No, but I hoped you would.” I giggled and hit him softly for his cheek, which sent him up the ladder. I followed up to the roof their household and saw that in-between of the common sloped roofs was a roof terrace all bare and empty save for a trap door that led to the inside and a blanket laid out on the ground with a strong lamp lighting up the terrace.

Looking at it Nick said, “Yeah, Gina told Joe about your little handicap.” When he saw my horror he laughed without restrained, “Don’t worry it’s nothing shameful to be afraid of the dark!” I muttered under my breath a thousand evil thoughts about Gina and tackled Nick to the ground before we both became over whelmed and lay panting deeply side by side on the blanket.

“The sky in Texas is so vast and big. It looks like it would never end. The Universe shouldn’t be so immense, not should anything else. It’s too much.”

“Love should,” he propped himself up by folding his arms behind his head. “Love should go beyond the realms of the universe and defy time itself.” I turned sideways and looked at his profile. The dim, but honestly very comforting light highlighted his features and defined his every line. His skin glowed like warm milk tea and I long to touch it.

“Love should be inconceivable even to those in love,” Wow those were some pretty fancy sentences he was putting out there, but what was rare and refreshing about it is that he meant them and wasn’t reciting or quoting some movie line. I sensed he notice it to because he stopped abruptly after and covered his hands with his face and let out a groan.

I sat up concerned to see him this way. “Nick? Talk to me Nick? Are you feeling sick? I don’t know how to do CPR but I am sure one of you fans would know how.” He let out a meek chuckle before pinching his nose and letting out a deep shaky breath.

“No I am fine, but I’ve done it again. You know…” I could feel his voice wavering as he questioned whether he should trust me with his feelings. When he did my heart started racing abnormally fast. Nick trusting me was a compliment. “Last time I watched fireworks was with Selena. I don’t know what you’ve read from the tabloids-“

“Nothing, I spit at those so called newspapers. Well not really spit but glare really hard as I read the main headline.” He could help but let a small laugh crack his moody exterior. Maybe I could cheer him up by making up stupid jokes, even if they did make me look bad. At least he’d be laughing.

“Yes, I am sure you do. Well we last spoke together as a couple, about four months ago. A week after the fireworks and a week after our anniversary. She called it off.” I sat quietly and didn’t dare breath in case it put him off continuing. “Do you think I say stupid things Olive?”

“What do you classify as stupid?”

“Like when I express my feelings or say my songs, or express my views. I know I do it passionately but is it too…”

“Over the top fluffy stuff?” I arched an eyebrow and tutted when I saw panic fill his milk brown eyes. “No. You are allowed to choose what word best suite what emotions your feeling. It takes a complex mind to understand a complex heart. Only your fans pure of hearts will understand the power of your music.” I said dramatically.

Nick stared at me incredulously and I back at him. A moment past. Then we both sputtered in a full out wail of laughter as I manage to say ‘That was a lie but it’s a line from my novel, altered a bit. Actually I could use some of yours. I love the ‘love should be unconceivable even to those in love. Have you thought of being a poet Nicholas?”

“No I haven’t Olivia” he said enunciating my name out. We were now both laying flat on the blanket looking at each other.

“Maybe you should. Not a big leap from rock star to poet.” He shot me a look that said Drop Dead, “Don’t beat yourself up. I haven’t known you for that long.” His eyes sadden again, “but I can tell you it not fair if not only your actions are judge but your feelings too.”

He didn’t say anything more and just stared at the pitch black sky that held a thousand diamante stars, and I wondered if, for lack of better word, I had just spoken absolute crap. An awkward moment froze me into silence, until I couldn’t take it anymore and proposed to go and find Joe as we only had moments to spare before the show started. He dazedly nodded his approval and I squirmed like a can of worms.

Ooooh. What had I said? Or really, what had I nott said!