Dichotomy.

Tina doesn’t leave until after the final show.

Although, I’d never admit I was afraid she’d leave before then- and not only because it’d be almost impossible to find a replacement who could do as much as she has.

It’s pretty clear she’s through with us, however.

How she breaks it to Spencer, I have no idea.

She hasn’t spoken a word to me since our argument. The last time I saw her, she was backstage packing up her precious guitar and what little equipment she brought with it.

Where I made eye contact for a split second before she looked away and I continued on to the dressing rooms.

It was a look of hate mixed with something else I couldn’t decipher, on her end, anyway.

Tom mentioned she left for the airport to find a plane home as soon as she got all her things out of the bus.

Back on the bus, I pack up my belongings, and last of all, my notebook filled with lyrics and song ideas.

It’s partially hidden in the corner of my nearly-empty bunk.

I open it to find notes scribbled in Tina’s handwriting, corrections to chord progression ideas and lyric placement, her notes on the pages of songs I’ve written with Spencer that I’d never even played for her.

Rewind to when I knew how to keep my mouth shut, if there ever was I time I knew how.

I close the notebook and shove it into my suitcase as Spencer enters the bunk area to collect his last few possessions.

All of our crew members have already packed up and are waiting for us so we can all head to the airport.

Spencer glances at me but doesn’t say anything for a few seconds as I cram my sheets into the suitcase.

Then I sit at the edge of my bunk, waiting.

“I told you,” he finally states evenly. He folds a blanket and stuffs it in his bag.

“I know,” I reply.

“You fucked everything up,” he adds placidly, zipping his bag up and sitting at the edge of the bunk next to me. He rubs a hand through his hair. He looks exhausted.

“I know,” I groan.

“You shouldn’t have slept with her in the first place,” he remarks, not even glancing at me.

“I kno- you mean you knew?” I demand incredulously. He turns to raise an eyebrow at me.

“You two weren’t as subtle as you like to think.”

I shake my head; it doesn’t matter anymore.

“Now what?” I ask, because I don’t know what else to say.

“Now we decide what to do next,” he answers simply. He stands up and studies me. “We have a flight to catch,” he reminds me, picking up his duffel bag and leaving me no choice but to grab my suitcase and follow him outside.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When I approach my seat in the airplane, none other than Tom is already seated next to the window.

He nods a greeting and I nod back and I sit down next to him.

“Can we just…not talk about her?” I say, before he even gets a chance to open his mouth.

“Sure,” he replies. “But I just want to know one thing.”

“Yeah?” I question, glancing sideways at him. He’s staring out the window even though we’re nowhere near to taking off yet.

“Do you love her?” he asks simply, but it’s still a loaded question.

“Probably not in the way you think,” I reply after a while. “It’s a stupid word, anyway. It doesn’t really mean anything,” I inform him.

“It only means what you mean it to mean,” he points out. I shrug.

“Maybe,” I allow. He doesn’t say anything else and I pretend to fall asleep.