I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
.15.
"Fucking vampire," I complain to Gerard one last time. He bares his evil, pointy teeth and blows me a kiss as we drive up to the school.
"You love it," he giggles.
"Oh yeah? Well..you..you look weird in my clothes." He had to wear one of my uniforms because he didn't take his with him when he came to my house.
"I only look weird cause you're a hobbit."
Can't really argue with that. Instead, I turn away and pretend to be angry.
Gerard counters by tackling me so that we're on top of each other in the front seat of his car, in the school parking lot.
"Stop it, people could be watching." I hiss, squirming. His face gets a little more serious.
"Let 'em watch. I'm sick of people thinking we're freaks because of this."
"Yeah. But we already missed three periods."
"We could miss a couple more.." Gerard says mischeviously.
"Oh hell no," I laugh at how the tables have turned. "You dragged me out of bed to come here, we're going for as long as possible."
I get out of the car and start heading for fourth period. Gerard hugs me from behind and tells me he loves me one more time.
OMGZ fast forward to Lunch o.o
"Gee, I've missed you so," I say dramatically, dropping into his lap and offering a bag of Twizzlers for us to share. He feeds me one, and Bob pretends to gag.
"What the hell is that?" Mikey asks in horror, pointing to the mark on my neck.
"Ass rape," Ray coughs. We start laughing. I smile up at Gerard, but suddenly all the humour disappears from his face.
"Hey Gee? What's-"
Oh.
It's Jeff.
Football star, homophobe, with a penchant for crushing those smaller than him.
I usually hide when I notice him coming. I've never seen him this close up before. He's very, very big.
How can another human being do this to me?
Just completely paralyze me with fear and dread?
It's unfair.
Life is unfair, I picture him sneering and he smashes my head into a brick wall. He interrupts me from my sick daydream by speaking.
"Hey, faggot. Nice hickey. He give it to you?" I realize too late that my shirt collar is open, exposing the mark. Gerard's arms tighten around me.
"Actually, I did. Jealous?" He asks sweetly.
My eyes widen as I stare at him. His mouth is set in a grim line and he's glaring up at Jeff. Before I even see him move, I've been shoved off his lap. Then, Jeff's fist swings right where my head was a few seconds ago, and punches Gerard in the face.
When he withdraws, Gerard has a black eye and his nose is bleeding.
Bob, Ray, and Mikey stand up.
"Excuse me," Ray says, "but I believe you just punched my friend." He looks menacing, right down to his hair. In the background, Bob cracks his knuckles. Mikey looks unsure why he's standing up, because Jeff could probably snap him in half. Overall, the effect is pretty good. There's no chance we could actually hurt him, but it looks like we might anyway.
Plus, he's not smart enough to realize he could get a couple of his friends in here with him and put us all in the hospital.
"Fucking disgusting," he mutters, and walks away.
I'm practically hyperventilating the whole time I'm taking him to the nurse's office.
"Do you think he like, knocked out any of your teeth? Oh my God, open your mouth." He opens it obediently and lets me check if anything is missing. But when I start poking around with my fingers, he gently closes his mouth and removes them.
"Frankie, don't you think you're overreacting? It was just one punch."
"Yeah," I say. "But it's just the beginning. He's gonna tell all his friends about what you said and the're gonna come after us or something!"
He looks into me eyes, willing me to understand.
"I'm sorry Frankie. I just really can't take any more of their shit. Doesn't it piss you off?"
Slowly, I nod. He reaches for my hand.
"You can't let people walk all over you, okay? I love you, and fuck whoever doesn't like it." I smile.
"Okay, Gee. But..that bruise looks really bad, make sure they have you put ice on-" He chuckles and walks into the office before I can finish my sentence.
Just then, the bell for the end of lunch rings. I wander towards art class, still worrying about Gerard, and get there just as the late bell goes off. The teacher glares but allows me to slide into my seat.
Usually, I sit at a table of five-me, Gerard, El Masterson(ugh), Mikey's new girlfriend Alicia, and this other kid whose name I don't know. Without Gerard, art seems more boring than usual, and I'm grateful when the teacher finally stops talking and leaves us to work on some project or other. The minute he disappears behind his desk, El turns to me.
"Hey, Frank, you're friends with Gerard, right?"
"Yes. Very good friends."
She doesn't take the hint.
"Oh, good. Do you think he would date me? We made out at a party once and I think he's really hot."
I'm all set to pretend I don't hate her, to tell her I don't know, maybe she should just ask him. But thenI remember what Gerard said to me and I just can't.
"Oh yeah, he told me about that. Right before we fucked in a shower. So I don't think he's really looking for a relationship with you."
"Fag," she mutters, looking horrified. Again, I remember Gerard's words.
"Yeah. Jealous?"
--
School finally ends, and I head to the nurse's office to pick up Gerard. He's sitting on a bench, holding an icepack over one eye and absentmindedly swinging his legs.
I try to sneak up behind him.
"Oh, hey Frankie. Ready to go?" He doesn't even turn around.
"Yeah. Killjoy." I mutter.
He hops down from the bench and deposits the icepack on the front desk.
"What on earth would you have to be joyful about? Your boyfriend just got a head wound. Unless you don't want me to be your boyfriend anymore, seeing as we've pretty much guaranteed the whole school wants to kill us now.." He bites his lip and looks worried, like me leaving him is an actual possibility. I hug him as tight as I can and look up at him gleefully.
"No, silly. I don't care about any of that. It's partly my fault now, anyways."
"What did you do?"
"I told El Masterson how we had sex in my shower."
He pulls back to look at me, eyes sparkling.
"You did not."
"I did! Are you proud of me Gee?" I ask childishly.
"Yeah. So..what do you want for a reward?" He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
"Could you maybe buy me dinner? I'm broke and there's no food in the house." Gerard looks put out for a moment, but soon regains his suggestive look.
"Sure..you'll just have to pay me back in a different way, then."
Willing to play along, I look at him.
"Oh? And what way is that?"
Gerard pulls me gently to him by my stupid school necktie, until we're close enough that I can feel his soft breathing on my face and feel heat radiating from his skin. My eyelids flutter closed and then..
I hear his voice before he pulls away.
"You're driving."
I let out an embarrasingly feminine squeal and hit him on the arm. He blinks.
"Was that supposed to hurt?"
"Shut up," I growl. He laughs.
"How about if I buy you dinner and provide you with free transportation out to my car?
And with that he's hoisting me onto his shoulders to give me a piggyback ride. I'm laughing like a little kid, and people are looking at us like we're insane. Maybe we are.
It's okay.
We're okay.
--
FIN
-
Yep. That's it.
There's a prologue, but I dunno if you want it =/
"You love it," he giggles.
"Oh yeah? Well..you..you look weird in my clothes." He had to wear one of my uniforms because he didn't take his with him when he came to my house.
"I only look weird cause you're a hobbit."
Can't really argue with that. Instead, I turn away and pretend to be angry.
Gerard counters by tackling me so that we're on top of each other in the front seat of his car, in the school parking lot.
"Stop it, people could be watching." I hiss, squirming. His face gets a little more serious.
"Let 'em watch. I'm sick of people thinking we're freaks because of this."
"Yeah. But we already missed three periods."
"We could miss a couple more.." Gerard says mischeviously.
"Oh hell no," I laugh at how the tables have turned. "You dragged me out of bed to come here, we're going for as long as possible."
I get out of the car and start heading for fourth period. Gerard hugs me from behind and tells me he loves me one more time.
OMGZ fast forward to Lunch o.o
"Gee, I've missed you so," I say dramatically, dropping into his lap and offering a bag of Twizzlers for us to share. He feeds me one, and Bob pretends to gag.
"What the hell is that?" Mikey asks in horror, pointing to the mark on my neck.
"Ass rape," Ray coughs. We start laughing. I smile up at Gerard, but suddenly all the humour disappears from his face.
"Hey Gee? What's-"
Oh.
It's Jeff.
Football star, homophobe, with a penchant for crushing those smaller than him.
I usually hide when I notice him coming. I've never seen him this close up before. He's very, very big.
How can another human being do this to me?
Just completely paralyze me with fear and dread?
It's unfair.
Life is unfair, I picture him sneering and he smashes my head into a brick wall. He interrupts me from my sick daydream by speaking.
"Hey, faggot. Nice hickey. He give it to you?" I realize too late that my shirt collar is open, exposing the mark. Gerard's arms tighten around me.
"Actually, I did. Jealous?" He asks sweetly.
My eyes widen as I stare at him. His mouth is set in a grim line and he's glaring up at Jeff. Before I even see him move, I've been shoved off his lap. Then, Jeff's fist swings right where my head was a few seconds ago, and punches Gerard in the face.
When he withdraws, Gerard has a black eye and his nose is bleeding.
Bob, Ray, and Mikey stand up.
"Excuse me," Ray says, "but I believe you just punched my friend." He looks menacing, right down to his hair. In the background, Bob cracks his knuckles. Mikey looks unsure why he's standing up, because Jeff could probably snap him in half. Overall, the effect is pretty good. There's no chance we could actually hurt him, but it looks like we might anyway.
Plus, he's not smart enough to realize he could get a couple of his friends in here with him and put us all in the hospital.
"Fucking disgusting," he mutters, and walks away.
I'm practically hyperventilating the whole time I'm taking him to the nurse's office.
"Do you think he like, knocked out any of your teeth? Oh my God, open your mouth." He opens it obediently and lets me check if anything is missing. But when I start poking around with my fingers, he gently closes his mouth and removes them.
"Frankie, don't you think you're overreacting? It was just one punch."
"Yeah," I say. "But it's just the beginning. He's gonna tell all his friends about what you said and the're gonna come after us or something!"
He looks into me eyes, willing me to understand.
"I'm sorry Frankie. I just really can't take any more of their shit. Doesn't it piss you off?"
Slowly, I nod. He reaches for my hand.
"You can't let people walk all over you, okay? I love you, and fuck whoever doesn't like it." I smile.
"Okay, Gee. But..that bruise looks really bad, make sure they have you put ice on-" He chuckles and walks into the office before I can finish my sentence.
Just then, the bell for the end of lunch rings. I wander towards art class, still worrying about Gerard, and get there just as the late bell goes off. The teacher glares but allows me to slide into my seat.
Usually, I sit at a table of five-me, Gerard, El Masterson(ugh), Mikey's new girlfriend Alicia, and this other kid whose name I don't know. Without Gerard, art seems more boring than usual, and I'm grateful when the teacher finally stops talking and leaves us to work on some project or other. The minute he disappears behind his desk, El turns to me.
"Hey, Frank, you're friends with Gerard, right?"
"Yes. Very good friends."
She doesn't take the hint.
"Oh, good. Do you think he would date me? We made out at a party once and I think he's really hot."
I'm all set to pretend I don't hate her, to tell her I don't know, maybe she should just ask him. But thenI remember what Gerard said to me and I just can't.
"Oh yeah, he told me about that. Right before we fucked in a shower. So I don't think he's really looking for a relationship with you."
"Fag," she mutters, looking horrified. Again, I remember Gerard's words.
"Yeah. Jealous?"
--
School finally ends, and I head to the nurse's office to pick up Gerard. He's sitting on a bench, holding an icepack over one eye and absentmindedly swinging his legs.
I try to sneak up behind him.
"Oh, hey Frankie. Ready to go?" He doesn't even turn around.
"Yeah. Killjoy." I mutter.
He hops down from the bench and deposits the icepack on the front desk.
"What on earth would you have to be joyful about? Your boyfriend just got a head wound. Unless you don't want me to be your boyfriend anymore, seeing as we've pretty much guaranteed the whole school wants to kill us now.." He bites his lip and looks worried, like me leaving him is an actual possibility. I hug him as tight as I can and look up at him gleefully.
"No, silly. I don't care about any of that. It's partly my fault now, anyways."
"What did you do?"
"I told El Masterson how we had sex in my shower."
He pulls back to look at me, eyes sparkling.
"You did not."
"I did! Are you proud of me Gee?" I ask childishly.
"Yeah. So..what do you want for a reward?" He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
"Could you maybe buy me dinner? I'm broke and there's no food in the house." Gerard looks put out for a moment, but soon regains his suggestive look.
"Sure..you'll just have to pay me back in a different way, then."
Willing to play along, I look at him.
"Oh? And what way is that?"
Gerard pulls me gently to him by my stupid school necktie, until we're close enough that I can feel his soft breathing on my face and feel heat radiating from his skin. My eyelids flutter closed and then..
I hear his voice before he pulls away.
"You're driving."
I let out an embarrasingly feminine squeal and hit him on the arm. He blinks.
"Was that supposed to hurt?"
"Shut up," I growl. He laughs.
"How about if I buy you dinner and provide you with free transportation out to my car?
And with that he's hoisting me onto his shoulders to give me a piggyback ride. I'm laughing like a little kid, and people are looking at us like we're insane. Maybe we are.
It's okay.
We're okay.
--
FIN
-
Yep. That's it.
There's a prologue, but I dunno if you want it =/