I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

I can't get him out of my head. He's just sitting there, quietly, occupying my every thought. His heart beating right next to mine, my head resting on his warm arm, the way he glared at Enormous Guy for hurting me..I wouldn't have minded getting stabbed for that treatment again. And the extra moments, afer everyone was gone or preoccupied. He could've let go..but he didn't! I mentally scold myself for acting like a teenager in love, before I realize that's what I am. I've become a cliche, and I don't even care. I do everything on autopilot, except for talking to him, and Mikey, because they're related. I've gotten close to Mikey, he's so sweet, even though he's younger. Maybe because he's younger. Early on, I just tagged along with them in silence, but we all get along well now and I feel like a part of their group. Me and Gerard talk sometimes..he's so deep and introspective, if he was anyone but himself, I'd avoid him because he makes me feel stupid. But he takes the time to explain his thoughts, and a lot of the time I agree with them. Which is why I'm ecstatic when Mikey invites me and everyone else to his and Gerard's house. Maybe I'll get to see his room..Oh God, that's where he sleeps. For a few minutes I drift off into happy fantasies of sleeping Gerard. I snap back in time to vehemently accept their invitation, and spend the rest of the day about to explode with anticipation. Finally, school ends. While I'm waiting for everyone else, I leave a message at my house, even though I know it doesn't matter where I go or for how long. I live with my twenty-seven year old cousin instead of my parents, I moved out a while ago because they move around too much. I'm not even sure where they are now, they don't really keep in touch. Anyway, Matthew usually parties all night, gets home after I've left for school, and leaves again before I get back. But I leave the message just in case.
As I sit on the steps in front of the school, another Enourmous Guy, not the one responsible for my Gerard-induced happiness, steps forward. This guy is, if possible, even bigger than the other one, and he wastes no time snatching my cell phone and stomping it into the ground. I half stand, shocked.
"What the hell!?" Angry as I am, I'm not blind to his size. He could sit on me and I'd probably die.
"Fag," he says simply, and walks away. I don't even notice Gerard behind me until he speaks.
"Why do you let them do that to you?" He asks sofly. I jump violently, but am spared answering, because the others are coming. He gives me a searching look, and we all pile in his car.
--
Oh noes.
The clicheness is impending =o