The Fine Line of Love and Hate

We walked through back door and, instantly, every head turned to stare at us.
“H-hi.” I gave a wave.
My dad rushed from the crowd of people and towered over us.
“Where have you two been?! Anyita woke me up at three this morning, saying that Jereth had run into the woods and you had gone after him!”
I put my hands up in surrender.
“Dad, dad. Listen.” I was about to get in serious trouble. I caused Jereth to run into the woods, thus, him getting turned around and sliding down the drop-off. I am DEAD meat. I’ll probably lose my right to be a Kellknight.
Just as I opened my mouth to tell dad what happened and my life possibly be ruined forever, Jereth spoke up.
“She couldn’t sleep this morning and I was awake, so I helped her down the stairs. When we got downstairs I heard something outside. So, being the masculine man I am, I went to check on it.” My dad smiled at this. “I saw a human shape ahead of me and I followed it. I got turned around at some point and the next thing I knew I’d fallen down the drop-off. I don’t know how long I was down there before I heard Lyla screaming for me.” He smiled at me and I returned it.
My dad looked at us expectantly and I continued on with the story.
“I tried to reach him but he was too far down and slipping more by the second. Lightning struck and I slipped down. Anyway, we made our plan to climb each tree until we got up. We did and we came back here.” I skipped out of the holding of the waist and the sucking of the face. My dad didn’t need to know that.
No, definitely not.
By that time, every single person, in the room, had their eyes turned to our muddy frames.
Like a sonic boom, people were suddenly swarming us, touching us, asking us questions three dozen times.
No one seemed to notice that I was about to pass out from the pain my ankle was causing me. I felt myself sway and Jereth tightened his hold on me.
Apparently, he knew.
I was putting so much of my weight on Jereth, that when someone pulled him away to check him over, I fell over.
I cried out when I landed on my hands and knees.
“Lyla!” I heard Jereth yell distantly.
My elbows buckled and I slid slowly onto my stomach.
Vaguely, I felt someone lift me up.
The pain was too much so I decided that it would be better to let the peaceful darkness consume me.
And that’s exactly what I did.
***
My eyes opened a crack then slammed shut due to the bright and cheery sunlight burning holes in my earthy green orbs. Damn the after rain sunshine.
I whimpered and covered my eyes with both of my hands; opening them to the darkness that was needed.
“The bones in your ankle and foot were healing but you re-broke them. You hurt them so bad that it’ll be a month before they’ll heal. It was a very stupid thing you did, Lyla; not coming to get me.” My dad’s voice came from the chair on the other side of my room.
“I know,” was all I said.
“Why’d you do it?”
I shrugged, as best as I could while lying down, and replied in the emotion I was feeling: confusion.
“I don’t know.”
“Explain.” He demanded.
I sighed; I was getting irritated. “Close the blinds first. My eyes are killing me.”
I heard a rustling and felt my room emerge into darkness.
I took my hands away from my face and I could see my dad clear enough to recognize the dark half moons under his eyes, the ones I hadn’t been conscious enough to notice last night, were from worry, stress, and a lack of sleep.
I sat up on my bed; using just my hands to pull myself into a sitting position.
“I don’t know why I did it, Dad. He ran out the door and my heart went berserk. I couldn’t breathe. I almost had, like, I don’t know, a premonition. I saw him falling into the creek; I saw me not being able to get there in time; I saw me losing him. It broke my heart. I tried to think rationally but the only thing I kept thinking was: find him, save him.” I looked at my dad and felt a tear slide down my cheek. “Dad, what’s wrong with me?”
My dad smiled down at me sympathetically. “My little girl’s in love.”
My face scrunched up in distaste. He laughed at my face.
“I don’t even like him. How can I be in love?!”
He sat on my bed. “Sweetie, liking someone is when your head wants to be around them. Loving them is when your heart needs to be around them.”
“Huh?”
“Your head is the logical one. It understands that you don’t like him; but your heart doesn’t understand, it just knows you’re meant to be.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about being meant for each other?!” And how come I wasn’t told any of this?!
He laughed. “You’ll figure it out. Hopefully.” He smiled.
I glared at him. “You’re not helping.”
“I know. How is your ankle feeling?”
I gave him a look, letting him know I knew he was changing the subject and I didn’t like it.
He just chuckled.
“I can’t feel it at all. I figured that was a good thing.”
He nodded. “It is. They gave you a lot of pain medication when you were passed out, so you probably won’t feel it for the rest of the day.”
I patted my ankle where it lay underneath my blanket. “At least there is some good news.”
My dad’s cell phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket.
“Hello?” He answered. A few, ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ and one ‘goodbye’ later, he hung up.
“How is Jereth?”
“He strained some muscles in his left forearm but other than that, he’s good to go.”
“That’s good. When is he going home?”
“He isn’t. Not for a while at least.”
I stared at my dad. “Huh?”
He chuckled at my deadpan expression.
“What?” I asked a little angrily.
“You’ll find out soon enough.” He got a text message on his phone. He flipped it open and his eyes went wide.
Without another word, he turned on his heel and exited my room.
A peaceful silence engulfed my room; that is, until someone else came in.
“Hey.” Jereth said timidly.
“Hi.” I replied sullenly. Can you blame me? I just found out that my heart is a total idiot.
“How’s your ankle?” He took a careful step into the room.
“Okay, I guess.” I left the conversation hanging and now he looked frustrated.
“Why are you acting like this?” He bit out between gritted teeth.
“Acting like what?” I asked innocently.
“YOU KNOW WHAT! Like you don’t even care! Like you forgot what happened between us!”
“Why are you here, Jereth?” I asked point-blank. No more beating around the bush.
His anger dissipated. “Huh?”
I sighed. “Why. Are. You. HERE? In this house? Why didn’t they let you go home?”
“I had the choice to go somewhere else, but I chose to stay here.”
“Why?” I was getting a little tired of that word.
He took a step closer to my bed but stopped when I held up my hand. “You know why, Lyla.”
“Refresh me please.” I said, monotone.
“Me and you . . . What happened, with us. T-that’s why I stayed.”
“Okay. Hey, Jereth?” Here it comes.
“What?”
“I don’t care. And, sadly, I haven’t forgotten what happened between us; but I wish I could.” Those were the most painful words I’ve ever had to say. And I’m not sure why.
Jereth didn’t look pissed, or confused. He just looked really, really sad.
No, stricken was a better word.
I wanted to wipe that expression off his face. My eyes widened slightly at the urge that came along with that unexpected thought.
I couldn’t do that, though. If I tried, my heart would get what it desired. I couldn’t have that.
I saw Jereth inhale once then turn around and walk out.
In the next instance I got a humongous shock.
My brain, along with my heart, was hurting. Crying out at me. Letting me know they both thought I was incredibly dense for not figuring it out sooner.
I liked, and loved, Jereth.
I’m in love with him.
And I just hurt him in the worst way imaginable.
I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself.
I doubt he’ll forgive you, either, my mind whispered with barely-in-check rage.
With that last thought, I curled into my pillow and let my sorrows leak from my eyes.