Fulfilling Her Dreams

Chapter One

I woke up to the shrill sound of my alarm clock. I sat up in my bed slowly and looked out the window. The sound of birds chirping and dogs barking filling my ears. The light breaking across the horizon was too bright, so I shut my blinds. I gradually crept out of bed, slipping my jeans on and pulling on a black, hooded sweatshirt over top of the navy blue T-shirt I was already wearing.
I have been out of school for a week and today would be my first day back since then. I wouldn't say I was nervous to go back, because that would sound week. But hell, I am nervous to go back. It's not going to be the same as it was before. Sure, I have other friends, but none of them have done what...Liz has done for me. School was going to be nearly unbearable, I could feel it, but my mom told me that I had to go back today. She told me I had to get over it, that people lose loved ones all the time, but they learn to move on. She doesn't understand though. She doesn't get how tough this is for me. How it's not so easy for me to move on. But she is right, I do need to move on. I don't think I will be able to though, it may take forever. I shook all the thoughts out of my head, I needed to stop thinking about it. About her. My best friend. I stopped my thoughts again and headed down the stairs into the kitchen.
As I entered the kitchen, the smell of bacon and eggs burned the inside of my nose. My mom was cleaning the pans and putting the food on plates. She was still wearing her pajamas, but with a sky blue apron that had clouds on it tied around her waist.
“Morning Sweetheart!” She chirped, all giddy and exuberant. “How did you sleep?” She asked.
“Fine,” I replied.
She smirked slightly. “Well, that's good.” I didn't even have to look at her to see the huge grin on her face, I could hear it in her voice – and it was making me sick to my stomach. As well was the greasy smell of the food.
“Why don't you sit down with me and have breakfast.” She suggested.
“I'm good. Not really hungry.” I shrugged.
“You haven't eaten anything since the day before yesterday. You're a growing boy, you need your food.”
“Mom. I'm just not hungry. Okay? I will get something to eat at school.” I told her.
“Okay, fine. Promise me you will eat something at school?”
“Promise.”
“Okay, good.” She smiled again.
“I'm going to head out now so I can talk to some of my teachers and get some makeup work.” I told her as I walked towards the door.
She sighed and frowned at my leaving for school early. “Have a nice day at school then!” The exuberance returning. Though it sounded a little fake this time.
I walked out the door, slamming it shut, a little harder than it need to be. But oh well.
I walked to my car; '87 Black Mustang. I unlocked the doors, threw my bookbag on the passenger seat and plopped myself down on the driver's seat. I turned the key and backed out of my driveway. I began driving down the street, approaching a stop sign, I stopped slightly; glancing around me – no one else was out on the streets this morning. I decided to turn on the radio, nothing but commercials were playing on all my favorite radio stations so I turned it off. I made a few more turns before finally reaching Riverside Drive, I turned left onto it and watched all the other cars and buses pull into the school before it was my turn.
I pulled into the parking lot, parking in the fifth spot in the second row from the back. I always like to park in the back because it helped me avoid all the other cars. I always had that little bit of fear that someone might key it, or drive into it if it was in the front. Therefore, I parked it in the back. Always in a nice secluded area away from everyone. I sighed before grabbing all my books from the passenger seat and shutting off my car. Then, I got out, locking the doors and made my way to the school.
I wove in and out of the cars, noticing students still lingering inside their vehicles or around them. Some were making out; some were just socializing. I just kept walking until I finally reached the sidewalk. I followed the crowd of people that were going straight towards the side doors of the building.
I walked inside of the school and went up the stairs to the second floor. I scanned the numbers of the lockers, when I found mine, number 2088. I put in my combination to open it, and when I did, a sudden wave of nostalgia rolled over me. All her stuff was still in her, her smell very prominent. I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts. Now getting a head ache, I sighed and grabbed a couple notebooks; stuffing them into my bag and heading to first period.
I walked into my first class: Art. I quietly sat down in my seat, class still wouldn't begin for a few more minutes so I took out a sketch pad and started drawing random pictures. Mrs. Bailey saw me immediately, “Jared!” She exclaimed, walking over towards me, “It's great to see you back in class,” she grinned, patting me on the back.
“Thanks. It's uh, great to be back.” I smirked. Then the bell rang; she patted me on the back one more time and went to the front of the class.
“Okay everyone, seeing as it is May 1st, the beginning of a new month, it is time to start a new project.” She grinned. “The project we are starting is called the Memory Project. For this, you may choose any of your greatest memories,” she clapped her hands together and grinned again, “Or, you could choose a group of memories that are somehow linked together. For example, a bunch of different things you and your friends have done, places you have gone, laughs you shared, etc. Also, you can choose one person to base your project on, maybe a best friend,” she looked at me, “Or a hero, a relative, a mom or dad.” She looked at the clock to check on time, “All right, you guys may start today, you have thirty minutes to work. If you have any questions, come and ask.” She smiled, turned away, and went back to her desk and sat down.
I groaned silently and rubbed my head when Mrs. Bailey called me up to her desk. I slowly stood up, leaning my hands on the table as leverage, and walked up to her.
“Good morning again, Jared. I have a question I would like to ask you about your project for this month.”
“Shoot.” I said.
“Well, as you may have heard already, the school wants to dedicate the month of May to Liz, and to Suicide Prevention.” My head ache started to flare up just by hearing about this, I rubbed my temples. “Another thing they were talking about was having a ceremony in remembrance of Liz,” she paused, “So I was wondering if you would be interested in deriving your project from Liz. Make a nice poster about her and we would put it up at the ceremony and afterwards, put it in a showcase in the hallway.” She finished and looked up at me. “You are my best student, and you knew Liz very well..” She trailed. “What do you say?” She asked me.
“I guess I could do that.” I shrugged, my head pounding.
“Wonderful!” She exclaimed.
I scratched the back of my head, “Okay, is that all?”
“Yes, I think so,” she smiled. “Thanks for doing this, Jared. I know it hurts you, and this is going to be tough for you to do, but I commend you.” She smiled at me again.
“Uh, thanks,” I said and walked back to my seat.
I got to my table and sat down. I pulled out my notebook for Art and grabbed a pencil. I fiddled around with my pencil, trying to think of different ideas for the project, but I was at a loss for any sort of scheme. I decided to just rest my head on my arm and think about it.
I felt someone tap my shoulder, “Hey, Jared,” a vaguely familiar voice greeted me. I looked up to see Sidney Stevenson.
“Oh, hey, Sid.” I nodded towards her. Sidney just happened to be one of my other best friends. Also the most beautiful girl I have ever met in my life. I've like her ever since I was in seventh grade, I am now in eleventh grade and guess what. I still like her. But I don't have to the guts to ask her out and possibly ruin our friendship.
“Yo, Jared, come out of dreamy dreamy land.” She snapped her fingers in my face and laughed. I chuckled lightly and looked at her. Her beautiful blue eyes practically glowing, her black hair neatly curled and pulled back out of her face. She was wearing a royal blue T-shirt with khaki shorts and she looked gorgeous. “Are you still with me, Jared?” She laughed.
“Yeah, sorry. I just have a head ache,” I shrugged.
She laughed, “So, how have you been? I haven't seen you in a while, and..You weren't returning my calls.” She scowled.
Saved by the bell.
“Never mind that, we'll talk at lunch, all right?” She said and walked off to her next class. I grabbed my back pack and slid it on my right shoulder. I casually walked out of Art and headed in the left direction to my next class which was Algebra 2. I sat down in my seat, my teacher walked over to me, no greeting, he just took a big packet of work and plopped it down on my desk. I groaned. He glared at me and stalked off. Mr. Prizela never did like me.
He began class as usual: going over the homework then starting a power point presentation so people could take notes. I sat there and stared off into space. Eventually I looked through the huge packet that was now my homework and began working on a few papers. I sighed and closed the packet, resting my head on my hand. I looked up at the clock, only a minute until I can get out of here, then only one more class until lunch. Where I would see Sidney again, and for some reason, I was excited about this.
The bell rang and I was now on my way to Chemistry. I walked into the room; my teacher smiled at my presence, I smiled back and headed for my seat. The whole class period, my teacher just reviewed for the test on Friday. She said it was going to be a very hard test and we would be reviewing all week for it. Oh joy. Hopefully I would be able to get out of it. I took a few notes here and there about some of the mixtures and equations, but got bored and decided to take a little nap. I quietly laid my head down on the table.

What seemed to be seconds later, the bell rang, dismissing me to go to lunch. I smiled to myself mentally and headed for the door.
“Wait, Jared,” my teacher called.
I swiftly turned around and looked in her direction, “Yeah?”
“Here,” she said handing me a notebook. I scanned over the beaten up and overly used notebook and looked up at my teacher.
“What's this?” I asked her.
“It's a notebook with all the notes from the week you were absent. I know you went through a lot and I thought you might want some help with that test on Friday.”
“Oh, sure. Great, thanks.” Well, I wouldn't be exempt, but at least I had all the answers in the palm of my hands.
“You're welcome. Have a nice afternoon,” She smiled and walked off.
I smiled back at her and walked out the door. I went up the stairs and headed to my locker; putting all my books in there and grabbing three dollars for lunch. I quietly shut my locker and walked down to the cafeteria.
When I got down there, I was happy to see that the lunch line was incredibly short. I jumped in line and bought myself a chicken sandwich and a drink. I gave the cashier my money and went to go find a table to sit at.
“Jared, wait up!” I looked in the direction the voice came from and saw one of my friends: Vince, sitting with a bunch of my other friends.
“Oh, hey, Vince.”
“Hey man, you wanna come and sit with us?” He asked me.
“I was actually gonna go get a seat over there.”
“You sure? We missed you while you were gone, and we know it's been hard for you and everything. Maybe you just need to chill with your friends.”
“Nah, man, it's cool. I just want some time to myself. Maybe tomorrow.” I shrugged.
“Okay, but if you ever want to talk or anything – you know where to find,” He said and walked back to his table.
I nodded and walked in the opposite direction, intent on finding an empty table, and, to my success, I did.
I sat down and opened my soda. I took one quick swig of it and set it down, trading it with the sandwich and taking a bite of that. I slowly lost my appetite and set it back down and sighed. I pushed the food to the side of me and rested my head on my hand.
“Daydreaming again, Jared?” Sidney sat down across from me and smiled. “That's twice in one day, maybe you should get more sleep.”
“Hey, Sidney.” I yawned, “Yeah, maybe I should.” Her hair was down now, a few curls hanging in her face.
“So, how's your lunch going?” She asked me.
“It's going,” I told her, “You?”
“Well, I just walked in here a couple minutes ago and spotted you, so, mine is going good,” she grinned at me, flashing her beautifully white teeth.
“That's good,” I smiled.
“Hm, most certainly.”
“So, uh, how have you been?” I asked her, trying to start a conversation.
“I've been doing good. My Dad finally got a job.”
“Oh, well that's good for him. What's he doing now?”
“He is the sportswriter for the newspaper,” she grinned.
“That's awesome. Tell him I said congrats.”
She smiled, “Will do.” Then she got a serious look on her face and she looked at me straight in the eye. “Jared, how are you doing, for real?”
“Honestly?” I asked her hesitantly.
“Yes.”
“Not too good,” I told her, “I feel kind of lost. Like a part of me is missing. I don't know. I haven't been eating, my mom is getting worried. Talking about getting me professional help because nothing she is doing is working. I just, I don't know what to do anymore.” I sighed, rubbing the back of my head.
“Jared,” Sidney frowned and shook her head.
I looked up at her and she looked back at me, her expression completely blank.
“You know what, tomorrow, I'm going down to the mall, I have a few things to pick up for my mom and such after school. Why don't you meet me up there whenever and just give me a call when you get there,” she suggested, “We can talk some more,” she smiled.
“That sounds good, Sid, thanks.”
“Anytime, I'm here for you, Jared. Remember that. Oh, and remember to call me when you're there, too. I will meet you outside the food court.”
“All right.” The bell rang then, and I grabbed my uneaten sandwich and threw it away on my way out of the cafeteria.

After my last few classes, I headed out into the parking lot and got in my car, I started it and drove home.
When I got home, I suddenly felt tired. I got out of my car and walked up the sidewalk and into my house.
“Hey honey, how was school?” My mom asked me.
“It was good. Oh, tomorrow after school I'm gonna stop by the mall and hang out with Sidney for a bit.”
“All right sweetie,” she smiled at me, “Dinner will be ready in a few.”
“That's all right. I, uh, ate a big lunch. Not very hungry.”
“Oh all right,” she frowned.
“Yeah, I'm just going to go upstairs and crash. I'm kinda beat,” I scratched that back of my head.
“Okay.” She said and went back to cooking.
I smirked taking the stairs two at a time until I reached my room. I went inside and shut the door.
I turned up some tunes by Kansas and laid out on my bed, slowly drifting to sleep.