Words Only Count If You Mean Them

“M-mom,” I mumble, looking around the doorway. Hoping my dad isn’t here. Shit, he is. She looks at me.

“Yes?”

“C-can, I talk to you?”

Her expression turns to one of concern, “Sure, about what?”

“Um, in private, please.” I say looking at the ground.

She looks at me, “Alex, if you’re pregnant, we won’t kick you out. We just want to know how.”

I glare and turn to walk away, “Forget it,” I grumble.

My mom catches up to me and grabs my hand, “I’m kidding Alexander. Let’s go talk.” She pulls me into my room and we take seats on my bed.

I look down, my hands suddenly becoming interesting. “Um, earlier I was with Jack.”

She nods, “I know,”

“And we, um, had sex.” I say, searching to find the word to describe my mother’s expression.

It was surprise, mixed with something else. “I see,” She says, “And how was it? Were you safe?”

I nod, glancing across my room at the pile of dirty clothes.

She starts to look worried when I don’t talk, “Alex, now, I want you to answer this, did he force you?” “No,” I shake my head, “I told him yes and never told him to stop. I j-just, I don’t feel right.” I wipe at tears, soaking my hoodie. My mom pulls me into a hug.

“Shhhhh, its okay, Alex, you did nothing wrong, and neither did Jack.”

“I know,” I say from the hug and pull away, “but, what should I do? I feel so weird.”

“Well, tell Jack, you weren’t ready and why would it be weird?” she asks.

I blush, embarrassed and look at the ground, “I-I kinda got changed really quickly and ran out his front door.”

My mother looks at me in disbelief, she smacks her head, “Alex, you need to call Jack then. You know how he gets. He could be having an emotional breakdown right now.”

“I know, but can I call him later? I don’t feel like facing him right now.”

“How about you come with me, to go buy groceries and when we get home you call him?”

“Okay,” I nod and put my converse on.

I hate going shopping at the grocery store. Why? It’s loud and there are crying children everywhere. In every aisle, there’s another.

I should’ve just stayed home and called Jack, it would’ve been better then this hell.

“Alex,” My mom yells, “Be a dear, and go get the milk.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t forget to check the expiration date!”

I nod and make my way through the obstacle course that is this store. I finally make my way to the dairy section, getting tackled by four, seven year olds, in the process.

I start checking over the milk, trying to think what kind of milk my mom buys. I’m not entirely sure because I don’t drink it. BTW I’m lactose intolerant. I settle on one, whose expiration date is two weeks from today.

I turn and run into a tall, red head. I almost think its Travis Clark; he graduated two years ago. I then notice, this guy’s hair is shorter and wouldn’t be described as ‘sex hair’.

I mentally slap myself in the head.

It’s Caleb.

I groan inwardly. He smiles, “Hi, um, Alex? Right?”

I nod, “Yeah, Jack’s boyfriend.”

“Um, Jack?” He asks, trying to think about who I was talking about.

“Um, he works with you. Skunk hair.”

“Oh! Him!” he exclaims.

“Yeah.”

“Alex!” My mom shouts, “Did you get the milk?”

“Yeah, mom.” I shout back.

“Aww, how cute. You still go shopping with your mom.” Caleb comments.

I blush, “Shut up. Don’t all gay sons spend times with their parents?”

“Well, for those who parents who accept it.”

“Oh,” I suddenly feel bad; I was so used to my parents being so supportive. I forgot a lot of parents don’t support their gay children.

“Well, my parents accept it, so I guess I’m another one of the lucky ones.” He smiles.

“Alex, hun, we have to check- oh, Alex, who’s this?” My mother asks.

I sigh. My mother could be so nosy. “Mom, this is Caleb, he works with Jack. Caleb, this is my mom.”

“It’s nice to meet you Ma’am.” Caleb greets, shaking her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” She smiles, “Come on, Alex. Don’t forget, you have to call someone when we get home.”

“Okay, Mom, see you around, Caleb.” I wave goodbye.

We go check out. My mom pays, while I bag groceries. Once finished, I start working out of the store and reach for my phone. I get Jack’s information up and go to press the button, to call.

Before I press the button I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn and there’s the same redhead I ran into earlier. I bring my phone away from my ear. “Yes, Caleb?” I ask.

His eyes meet mine, questioning, whether or not to say something. His eyes seem to make a decision. “Um, you want to go get some coffee? Um, if you can, I understand if you can’t.”

I contemplate for a moment. I REALLY don’t feel like facing Jack, yet.

“I won’t make any moves on you. I promise. I know you and Jack are really close.”

“Um, sure. Just let me tell my mom first.”

When my mom walks out I tell her. “Did you call Jack?” She asks.

“Yes, Mom,” I lie.

“Fine, then I see no problem with that.” She smiles, “Be back before six, because we’re having a family dinner tonight and I know you won’t want to miss that.” She says sarcastically.

“Oh, you know I how I just love those dinners,” I remark in the same tone, rolling my eyes.

“Well, have fun getting coffee.” She waves and walks to the car.

We stand there, awkwardly, for a bit. I start looking around, when he speaks, “Um what kind of coffee do you drink?”

“Um… anything is fine.”

He grins, “Starbucks it is!”

I laugh, he reminded me of a little child. We start the walk to Starbucks, when I notice, Caleb was carrying any groceries.

“Hey, didn’t you buy anything?”

“Yeah, I gave it to my dad. He said I needed to get out more, so he left me there. He’s a great role model, right?”

I laugh, “Well, he sounds better then my mom. My mom keeps question me about having sex.” I change the pitch of my voice, in a mocking way. “Are you lying to me? Are you being safe? Do we need to buy any lube or condoms?”

Caleb giggles, “Man, does that bring back memories.”

“You’re mom, too?”

“Yeah.”

We turn a corner and enter the Starbucks. I order a small coffee, as does Caleb. We take seats across from each other. As soon as my ass touches the seat my phones vibrates.

I pull it out of my pocket and read the I.D.

It was Jack.