Eternity

I couldn’t believe graduation was only a month and a half away, and I still hadn’t spoken to Joe. It had been about two weeks at this point, and I had been building up the courage to actually call him. I thought maybe I could call him between classes, knowing that Jenn and I walked opposite ways to my music class and her art class. Hopefully, he’ll answer.

“So,” Jenn started as we were about to leave our English class and part ways, “what are you going to do? About Joe, I mean.”

“Call him. That’s all I can do, right?”

“Well, I don’t think you need to call him.”

“Why?”

Jenn looked down and then nodded her head to her left. I raised my eyebrows and she looked back up at me.

“What?” I asked and she rolled her eyes.

“Look to your right,” she said without moving her lips.

I moved my head slowly to the right and saw Joe making his way towards Jenn and myself.

“Oh, uh, what do I do? What do I do?” I asked in a whisper.

“Uh, I don’t know. Gotta get to class! See ya!”

“Jenn!” I growled, but she had already sprinted away to her next I class. I sighed heavily and took in a deep breath before turning to face Joe.

“Hey,” he said and shoved his hands into his jean pockets.

“Hey.” I tucked a hair behind my ear. “What’re you doing here?”

“I haven’t seen you or talked to you in a couple weeks; I had to see you.

“Well, I don’t really know if I have time to talk to you. I’m now going to be late to my next class,” I started to take a few steps forward.

“You can’t even take a minute or two to explain what has been happening with you lately? You can’t keep avoiding the issue here.” He stepped in front of my path and I stopped short, rolling my eyes before looking at him again.

“I’m really not in the mood to talk about it, okay? I’d rather just get to my class and learn about arpeggios and scales. I would hope you could understand that since you’re in a band and all.”

“Wow, Alexa, was that supposed to be like a punch to the face or something? Because I can definitely feel the sting after that comment.”

“You won’t understand it, Joe. Not right now, at least. It’s just complicated.”

“Sure,” he nodded his head. “Everything is complicated between us these days, huh? Everything and anything is complicated.”

“That’s not what I meant. You’re taking this the wrong way.”

“Then, please, enlighten me,” he said, crossing his arms. “Tell me how I’m taking this the wrong way, because I’m very interested in how you think I’m reacting.”

“You’re being a jerk, again. Erik may have been a complete asshole, but he gave me space when I needed it.”

“Oh, so you’re bringing this back to being about Erik? And, even though he was like that, he gave you space? What the hell do you think I was doing?” His voice rose as he continued. “I went back and forth the last night I saw you, wondering whether I should go back up to your apartment and apologize. And, now that the truth is finally coming out, I’m glad I didn’t go back up there.”

“And what do you mean by that?”

“You’re comparing me to your abusive ex-boyfriend. What do you think I mean by that?”

“So, what does that mean now?”

He shook as head as if he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. “I think you need more space than you think.”

“More space? As in—?”

He took his right hand out of his pocket and ran it through his hair and looked at me; I could see that his eyes were slightly red and I could feel myself trying to hold back tears.

“As in—I think we need more time apart from each other.” His voice was softer now. “I should get going now. You’re gonna be late to your class and I wouldn’t want to keep you from learning arpeggios and—and, uh, scales. So, yeah.”

Before I could say anything, he turned on his heel and started his way back to where I figured his car was parked. I scoffed to myself, but not in a way that was snobby. It was more like a scoff of disbelief.

“Alexa, you okay?” I heard a voice say from behind me.

“Jenn, just go away,” I said in a low voice. “You should be in class and I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not the crappy friend that actually goes to class when I know something is about to go down. Let’s get outta here.”

Jenn dragged me to her car, driving me back to her place and let me relax on her couch to watch movies and pig out. At this rate, if I do get married to Joe, I won’t fit in the wedding dress; the dress which I haven’t even purchased yet.

You really don’t know what you have until it’s gone.