Can I Hold You?
Funeral
"Did you have fun playing Mommy and Daddy?" Tre teases as Mike and I get back to the apartment.
"Yes, yes we did." I say causing his jaw to drop.
"Liiiiiisssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa!" Tre whines, "let's play Mommy and Daddy too!"
"Oh jeez, you and your sick games." She says laughing as he nods.
"You feeling okay?" Billie asks Mike more seriously.
"Yeah, I'll be okay." He says nodding, "Sorry about freaking out, now we can't buy the new amp."
"S'okay man, I'd rather have a bassist than a new amp." Billie says not realizing how cheesy he sounds.
"Oh wow, that's so sweet." Tre says in a girly voice.
"Come on Tre." Lisea says getting the hint that everyone's in mourning and they go to the bedroom.
"So when's the funeral?" Mike whispers.
"Tomorrow." Billie says quietly as the three of us sit on the sofa. "Around three at the church."
"Can't believe he's gone." Mike mumbles as he puts his head in his hands. "Man, we were so much the same, it seems so unreal that he could just die."
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Billie mumbles.
"I need to go for a walk." Mike mutters as he stands up and heads for the door. I'm about to follow but Billie tugs my arm and shakes his head.
"He needs to be alone." Billie states as he turns on the TV.
"What if he gets another panic attack?"
"Does he have his meds on him?"
"Yeah."
"Then he'll be fine." Billie assures me.
"Where's Adie?"
"Working."
I spend my afternoon sitting on the couch watching TV with Billie. Mike comes back through the door with a white bandage wrapped around his arm.
"Jesus, Mike what happened?!" I gasp.
"Nothing." He states. "I got another tattoo."
"Of what?" Billie asks shifting his weight on the sofa. He peels of the bandage to reveal a dagger with a snake around it with the word "brother" inside of it.
"Jason's tattoo." Billie whispers. I run a gentle finger over the freshly inked skin then help him re-wrap it. Mike hugs me and I think he started crying. Billie got up and went to his room as we continued to hug for what seemed like forever, until our legs were too weak to hold us up anymore we sat on the sofa and I held him till we fell asleep.
*
I open my closet and pull out my only dress, which luckily happens to be a black one. Mike is sitting on my bed, he's wearing a pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt.
"Can you zip me up?" I ask turning my back to him. I feel his fingers zip up the back of my dress gently. I step away and slide on a pair of heels. We head downstairs and Chris stops us.
"Are you going to Jason's funeral?" we nod. "Do you want to borrow a jacket?" he looks over at Mike. Mike doesn't say anything. Chris goes into his room and reappears with a black suit jacket and hands it to Mike.
"Thank you." Mike says pulling it on, it fit him pretty well, it was a bit big on the shoulders though. I take Mike's hand and we head out to his pick up.
We get to the church and sit with Billie, Adie, Tre and Lisea. Tre didn't really know Jason that well, so I'm guessing he's here for Mike. Ella is sitting in the front of the church with Jason's parents and sister. Most of the people here were punkers from Gilman. A strange site to see people with bright colored hair in suits and Mohawks gone unspiked. After the funeral everyone stepped outside into the winter air.
Mike and I go over to Ella who's dabbing her eyes with a tissue. I pull her into a hug when she says something shocking.
"I'm pregnant." I pull away from her and she's nodding. Mike's mouth is wide open.
"Did Jason know?" Mike demands, she nods.
"I'm about three month along." She says as more tears flood her eyes, "I only told Jason, I didn't want my parents to find out and shit." I hug her again.
"If it's a boy I'm naming him Jason." She whispers. "And if it's a girl Jasmine." Mike nods and then hugs her.
"If you need anything, don't be afraid to call." Mike says as I nod.
"Thanks you guys." She says as she walks away quietly.
"Yes, yes we did." I say causing his jaw to drop.
"Liiiiiisssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa!" Tre whines, "let's play Mommy and Daddy too!"
"Oh jeez, you and your sick games." She says laughing as he nods.
"You feeling okay?" Billie asks Mike more seriously.
"Yeah, I'll be okay." He says nodding, "Sorry about freaking out, now we can't buy the new amp."
"S'okay man, I'd rather have a bassist than a new amp." Billie says not realizing how cheesy he sounds.
"Oh wow, that's so sweet." Tre says in a girly voice.
"Come on Tre." Lisea says getting the hint that everyone's in mourning and they go to the bedroom.
"So when's the funeral?" Mike whispers.
"Tomorrow." Billie says quietly as the three of us sit on the sofa. "Around three at the church."
"Can't believe he's gone." Mike mumbles as he puts his head in his hands. "Man, we were so much the same, it seems so unreal that he could just die."
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Billie mumbles.
"I need to go for a walk." Mike mutters as he stands up and heads for the door. I'm about to follow but Billie tugs my arm and shakes his head.
"He needs to be alone." Billie states as he turns on the TV.
"What if he gets another panic attack?"
"Does he have his meds on him?"
"Yeah."
"Then he'll be fine." Billie assures me.
"Where's Adie?"
"Working."
I spend my afternoon sitting on the couch watching TV with Billie. Mike comes back through the door with a white bandage wrapped around his arm.
"Jesus, Mike what happened?!" I gasp.
"Nothing." He states. "I got another tattoo."
"Of what?" Billie asks shifting his weight on the sofa. He peels of the bandage to reveal a dagger with a snake around it with the word "brother" inside of it.
"Jason's tattoo." Billie whispers. I run a gentle finger over the freshly inked skin then help him re-wrap it. Mike hugs me and I think he started crying. Billie got up and went to his room as we continued to hug for what seemed like forever, until our legs were too weak to hold us up anymore we sat on the sofa and I held him till we fell asleep.
*
I open my closet and pull out my only dress, which luckily happens to be a black one. Mike is sitting on my bed, he's wearing a pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt.
"Can you zip me up?" I ask turning my back to him. I feel his fingers zip up the back of my dress gently. I step away and slide on a pair of heels. We head downstairs and Chris stops us.
"Are you going to Jason's funeral?" we nod. "Do you want to borrow a jacket?" he looks over at Mike. Mike doesn't say anything. Chris goes into his room and reappears with a black suit jacket and hands it to Mike.
"Thank you." Mike says pulling it on, it fit him pretty well, it was a bit big on the shoulders though. I take Mike's hand and we head out to his pick up.
We get to the church and sit with Billie, Adie, Tre and Lisea. Tre didn't really know Jason that well, so I'm guessing he's here for Mike. Ella is sitting in the front of the church with Jason's parents and sister. Most of the people here were punkers from Gilman. A strange site to see people with bright colored hair in suits and Mohawks gone unspiked. After the funeral everyone stepped outside into the winter air.
Mike and I go over to Ella who's dabbing her eyes with a tissue. I pull her into a hug when she says something shocking.
"I'm pregnant." I pull away from her and she's nodding. Mike's mouth is wide open.
"Did Jason know?" Mike demands, she nods.
"I'm about three month along." She says as more tears flood her eyes, "I only told Jason, I didn't want my parents to find out and shit." I hug her again.
"If it's a boy I'm naming him Jason." She whispers. "And if it's a girl Jasmine." Mike nods and then hugs her.
"If you need anything, don't be afraid to call." Mike says as I nod.
"Thanks you guys." She says as she walks away quietly.