Dear Katy

“Shit. This is sad.”, Sierra muttered as she hugged me tightly. “I’m so gonna miss you, Katy. I can’t believe the tour is over.”

“Me too.”, I smiled. “It felt like yesterday, we just met each other!”

“Promise me you’ll call, tweet, IM, or even text me?”, she pouted when we pulled away.

I nodded and make an imaginary x on my heart. “Cross my heart!”

Sierra giggled and waved, walking away to her van. I waved back and sighed. Today was the last day of OP tour and I felt like I lost some friends. I met Sisca again, since she was the merch girl for A Rocket To The Moon.

I walked back to the bus and the door slid open. It was empty. Maybe the guys were still in the venue. I walked into the back lounge. Paul told me that he wanted to meet my parents after the tour, and honestly, I feel a little nervous about that.

My parents knew that we were dating, but it was the first time that a boyfriend of mine wanted to meet my parents. Even Alex, who lived in the same town as I do, never told me he wanted to meet them.

When I was deep in my thoughts, my phone rang loudly. I picked it up without seeing the caller ID first.

“Hello?”

“Katy!”, Aubrey’s cheery voice filled my earlobes.

“Hey, Aub.”

“What’s wrong? You don’t sound okay.”

“No, its nothing. Just the dilemma of Paul, wanting to meet my parents.”

“Ouch.”, she chuckled. “Why is it so bad? I thought you guys are serious about…both of you.”

I bit my lip before answering. Does Paul have some sort of plan, so he wanted to meet my parents? Does he have something that he kept from me? Does he wanted to….oh God. “Aubrey, I have to call you back.”

“What? Wait, Kate—“, before she could say anything else, I pressed the ‘end’ button and threw my phone onto the sofa. I rushed to the front door, but Martin stopped me at the front lounge.

“Whoa! What’s the rush, Katy?”, he smirked playfully.

“Martin, I need to ask you something.”

He narrowed his eyes at me and pursed his lips. “Don’t tell me, that you are late on your period cause’ you’re…Oh my god, you’re pregnant with Paul’s kid!”

“Gross!”, I slapped his arm. “Paul and I never done it!”

“Okay then, what is it?”

I looked down and shifted my weight nervously. Would he laugh at my conclusion? Or would he tell me the big secret? “Martin, do you know why Paul want to meet my parents?”

His eyes widened at my question, and I could see something in his eyes. “No, I don’t know. Why would I know?”, he stuttered and tried to keep his smile on. “I—I gotta go. Bye.”

Martin rushed out from the bus and I sighed. Obviously he knew something. But, Martin’s words rang in my head. How did he know that I was late on my period? For God’s sake, I’m already 20, and that doesn’t mean my period is still on and off.

I did some mental math while I walked out from the bus, looking for the nearest convenient store or even a drug store would do. I got my last period 5 days before the Halloween show, and that show was a month ago. It couldn’t.

When I found a drug store, not too far from the venue, there was a debate going on in my mind. Should I walk in and buy a pregnancy test? Or shouldn’t? is it real or just my paranoia taking over?

Without anymore doubts, I walked in and the smell of floral air freshener filled my nostrils. The lady behind the cashier greeted me with warm smiles, while I just smiled awkwardly back.

I walked to the woman aisle and found a couple pregnancy tests with different brands. Some basic Sex Ed from high school filled my mind. Mrs. Smith told us that we should buy different brands and take more than one test for accurate result.

I took a deep breath and picked up 4 different brands of the test. When I walked to the cashier, my heartbeat accelerated. What would the lady think? What would she do?

When I dropped those tests on the cashier, the lady eyed them and looked at me for a moment. “How old are you?”

“I’m 20.”, I said quietly.

She smiled warmly and patted my hand. “I hope everything works out just the way you wanted to.”

I nodded and looked down to my hands. When she was scanning the boxes, I thought about it. Paul and I never done it, and maybe we slept in his bunk together sometimes, but seriously, we never done it. We always kept it in our pants.

“Here you go, deary. Hope your boyfriend or fiancé happy, as well for you.”, she handed me the plastic bag and I took it with shaky hands

“Thank you.”, I muttered as I walked out. I hid the plastic bag inside my hoodie. What if one of the guys saw what I was carrying? Suspicion would grow.

I ran to the bus and when I walked in, everyone was there. “Heya, Katy! Where’ve you been?!”, John smiled as he sat on the booth, with beer in hand.

“I…just took a walk, and now I need to use the bathroom.”, before anyone else could say something, I ran through them and stepped into the bathroom, not forget to lock the door.

“Katy? You okay?”, Paul asked from outside the door.

I sat down on the toilet cover and took out the plastic bag. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Paul’s footsteps walked away from the door, and I was relieved. I started to take out the first test. Maybe this was my first time using a pregnancy test, but I wasn’t a moron. I slid down my pants, and sat on the toilet.

After I peed the first test, I wrapped it up in tissue papers and laid it on the side of the sink. 5 minutes have passed, I glanced at the test and the indicator was showing ‘+’.

“No.”, I breathed while my eyes got teary. I quickly took the second test, and the third, and the fourth and final test, but all of the results were the same. A pink ‘+’.

My legs were suddenly felt weak, I slid down the wall and sat on the tiled floor because my legs couldn’t support my weight. The last test was still in my hand, and I kept staring at the indicator. I’m pregnant.
**************
“Katy!”, mom embraced me in a warm tight hug when I stepped into the foyer. “How are you, sweetie?”

“I’m fine, mom.”, I smiled and we pulled away. “Oh, and Paul’s here. He wanted to meet you guys.”

Mom looked past my shoulder and smiled. “Oh, Paul. how are you, sonny?”

“Hi, Mrs. Thorton.”, Paul smiled and leaned down to hugged my mom back. “I’m great.”

“Well, come in. lunch is ready.”, she gushed and walked into the house. We followed them and dad did the same thing when he saw Paul. my parents loved him, like he was already their son-in-law.

While we were eating lunch, I could tell that Paul and dad were talking about some secret in low voices. Even mom was in that conversation. After I was done, I excused myself and rushed up to my room.

I locked the door and sat on the window edge. There was a baby inside me. The surprise was the baby isn’t Paul’s. it was Alex’s.

My hand fell down to my stomach and I started to rubbed it gently and loving. Maybe he hurts me so many times, and he kept making various holes and wounds on my heart, but I never could stop loving him.

His eyes, his smile, his laughter, haunted my mind. Now, his baby was inside me. a month and a half old baby. I need to tell someone about this, but not Paul. probably my friends.

I ran out from my room, and rushed down the stairs. Probably they could hear me, since the living room is right beside the foyer.

“Katy? Where’re you going?!”, Paul stood up from the sofa and walked towards me. I ignored him and opened the front door. The wind gushed through me hardly, but I didn’t care. I ran out to the sidewalk and kept on running.

Paul was calling my name out, but I kept running and running. I knew where I should go.

Alex

“This is fucking useless.”, I muttered as I randomly pushed the piano keys. I was trying to play a song on piano, but this was my first time. Mom bought me a simple piano when I moved to my own place, but I never even bothered to learn how to play it.

Baz and Peyton barked, asking for food. I sighed and stood up, making my way to the kitchen. When I took out the dog food from under the sink, the front bell rang.

“Dammit.”, I breathed and put the box down. The pups followed me to the front door. When I opened the door, I almost choked on my own spit to see who was at my steps.

“Alex.”, she breathed, or maybe panted. She was sweaty and messy, like she just ran from her house, which was nearly 20 blocks away from mine.

“Katy, what are you doing here?!”

“I really need to talk to you. No bullshits, this is fucking emergency.”

I bit my lip. Even after she dumped me several times, and yes, it was because of me, I still have the urge to rip her clothes off and bring her to bed. “S-Sure. Come in.”

She smiled a little and walked into the foyer. I led her to the living room and we sat next to each other on the sofa. “What is it?”

Her turquoise eyes got teary and she just looked at me. tears started to fell down her cheeks and I couldn’t bare myself to see her like this. I pulled her into a hug and she cried on my shoulder. “Shush, you could tell me everything.”

She shook her head and kept on weeping. “You will hate me if I tell you.”

“No, I wont. Just tell me.”

Katy pulled away and wiped her tears, but her breath was still shaky. She took my hand and drew imaginary circle on my thumb. “I’m pregnant, Alex.”