Dear Katy

“There. Perfect.”, Mom smiled after she brushed my hair. I looked at my reflection and took a deep breath. My cheeks were a color the shades of red, and my gown flew down my body perfectly.

I stood up and adjusted my gown on several place, before taking another breath. “Wow.”

“You look beautiful, honey.”, mom whispered.

“Thanks, mom.”

“Wait! I almost forgot!”, mom quickly dug into the paper bag she brought, and fished out a black jewelry box. “Something that I want you to have in your special day.”

She opened the box and revealed two sapphire covered butterflies shaped hairclips. I gasped quietly when my fingers traced them. “Mom, you shouldn’t have.”

“No, no. I wore them when I got married, and I want you to wear them too.”

Tears peeked out at the corner of my eyes, but before they could fall, mom wiped them up with her fingers. “Katy Cat, don’t cry.”

“I’ll miss you, mom. And dad too.”

“We’ll miss you too, Katy, but this is life.”

I nodded and sat back down on the low chair as mom put each butterflies on the sides of my hair. I looked down to my hands and there was an emotional storm going on in my mind.

My pregnancy already reached 2 months, and I could feel it moves when I think about Alex. The baby already knew his dad.

When mom was done, I stood up, just in time dad poked in his head into the room. “Katy, it’s time.”

Mom handed me my white roses bouquet and I could feel my legs shook a bit. Dad looped his arm with mine and he led me out. The grand door to the chapel was still closed, and I could hear the chitter chatter from the inside.

Dad gently squeezed my hand. “I’ll miss you at home, Katy.”

“I’ll miss you too, daddy.”, I smiled up to him.

“I couldn’t believe it. My little baby is getting married.”

“Dad.”, I whined quietly. “I won’t forget you and mom. I’ll visit.”

He smiled and kissed my temple. Then, the march was heard. The door opened, revealing the inside view. I took a deep breath and took each step slowly.

My eyes glued to Paul, who was standing at the altar, smiling victoriously as he waited for me. I counted my breath and heartbeat as I got closer and closer. My eyes wandered to my friends.

I could see Dexter and Serena, along with the guys in the second row from the front. Aubrey was with Bryan at the second row, Paul’s side, along with Martin and John.

My mom and my sister were in the front row, with teary eyes.
When I was in front of the altar, my heartbeat accelerated. Paul walked down the steps and lend in his hand. My dad, as the tradition goes, he took my hand and when he was about to place it in Paul’s, I hardened it.

“Katy?”, dad whispered.

I just stare at Paul’s opened palm, waiting for my hand. “Katy, if you’re not ready yet, it’s okay.”, dad added.

“I-I-I…”, I stuttered. I wanted to say more, but no words came out from my mouth. I snatched my hand back and ran out from the chapel instead. The cold autumn wind gushed through my gown.

My mind was filled and rushed by thoughts. I could feel the baby moved again inside me as I ran. I didn’t know where I was running to, but my feet led me to the park. The park Alex and I went to three years ago.

I finally stopped on the wooden dock, at the side of the pond. I fell on my feet and sat down on the dock. My breathing was heavy and hard. I counted my heartbeat again, until it was still and steady.

After a few minutes, I slowly crawled to the end of the dock and poked my head, looking down to the water. My reflection was different from the last time I saw it back in the chapel.

My hair was untidy, the butterflies hairclips hung loosely. My face was ruined, due to the sweats because of the run. I lend my hands out to the water, and before I knew it, I loose my balance, and fell into the dark, cold water.