Ramblings

This isn’t fair to me.

It just isn’t.

You wreck everything in my life.

It’s like you just have a knack for wrecking everything.

Including my happiness.

So fuck you.

And fuck this shit.

I'm sick and tired of it.

Sick and tired of you

So that's it.

I'm through with you.

And this life.

I don't see the point of living.

Why keep fighting something that you're never gonna beat?

Why keep trying when you know you’re going to lose?

Why have faith in something that'll never happen?

I just don't see it anymore.

I just don't.

Her hand moved across the paper quickly leaving traces of her chicken-scratch writing in a black pen. She blinked furiously, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to let themselves loose. She dropped the pen and left the letter on her bed, in plain sight. She had to do it now or else she would never do it. She slid her hand underneath the pillow, a few seconds later the tips of her fingers came in contact with the cold metal of the instrument that she planned to end her life with. To her though it wasn't just an instrument it was her one and only friend. When she was unhappy it comforted her, when she was angry it calmed her down, when she was in pain it soothed and numbed it. The many criss-crosses that were up and down both her slender wrists were just a sign of what was about to come.

She took a deep breath to steady herself as she raised the knife up to her throat. Outside her locked bedroom door she heard her beloved puppy Winston whining as if he knew what she was about to do. As if he was saying no don’t, it’s a bad idea we can get through this together just me and you.

“Sorry boy, it’s better this way.” She whispered her lips barely moving. Winston must have heard her for he quieted down immediately leaving her alone with the ghostly silence of the night. She took another breath and shut her eyes. As if it was going to make it any easier. Her hand gripped around the knife tighter as she pressed the blade against her throat. She could feel it, the metallic blade cutting into her skin, she liked it. Then with a final breath she pulled the blade across her throat, the blood spilled out and she dropped to the floor like an apple from a tree. A grim smile plastered on her face.