P.S I Love You

Holly paced outside waiting for any news that her husband was still alive. Her mother was sitting on the chair watching Holly pace up and down. Holly’s best friends Denise and Sharon were here with her. Sharon’s husband John was on the first floor getting everyone some coffee.

Holly stopped pacing when she saw the doctor come threw the wide doors. He pulled off his mask and made a way for them. Holly looked down at her watch, Gerry was only in surgery for over an hour already.

“Mrs. Kennedy?” He looked at all the women who stood up to support Holly. John came threw the elevator and saw everyone standing with the doctor in the middle. He put the cups on the table and walked over next to Sharon.

“Yes. That’s me.” Holly couldn’t stand the way his voice sounded. She knew what he was going to tell her, she was only hoping it wasn’t that.

He looked at Holly and sympathy covered his expression. “I’m sorry. We did everything we could.”

Holly closed her eyes as the doctors voice drifted farther and farther away. Behind her closed eyes she saw Gerry smiling at her, he pressed his fingers to his mouth and blew her the kiss. Gerry winked at her and continued to walk away from her. When she opened her eyes she was on the floor with everyone towering over her.

Holly woke up in her bedroom. She could hear her alarm clock buzzing.

“Gerry….it’s your turn.” She whispered. They always took turns turning off the alarm or turning off the light. She rolled over to her left side; she spread her arms around to feel for Gerry. But felt nothing.

“Baby?” she whispered. She opened her eyes and saw his side of the bed empty. Suddenly she remembered everything. The goodbye kiss, the doctor telling her the bad news. Everything after that was kind of fuzzy.

She sat up to look around her bedroom. She could feel Gerry here beside her. She pulled her legs over the bed; she covered her face and let tears fall from her eyes. She just lost her husband. The truest of all true loves.

“Oh Holly.”

Holly looked up to find Denise opening her arms to wrap them around her.

“He’s gone Denise……he’s gone.” It was all she could say. She could hear Denise sniffing, and felt the soft gentle rubs Denise was giving her.

“I know baby. I know.” She whispered.

Holly felt another set of arms wrap around her. The smell of strawberry hit her, she knew it was Sharon.

“We love you Holly. We won’t leave you.” Sharon whispered.

Holly pressed her face against Denise’s shoulder and sobbed until she couldn’t breathe anymore.

It’s been a week since Gerry died. He lay in a box next to her on the chair in the kitchen. She didn’t know what to do anymore. Her mother helped her take care of all the arrangements. She just didn’t see a reason to move on without Gerry.

“Holly you need to eat.” Sharon whispered. She laid the plate of spaghetti in front of her. Holly just starred at it with no desire to grab the fork next to her left hand and eat the gob of food in front of her. The smell was delicious, but she couldn’t eat. Lately she hasn’t been able to hold down anything.

Holly hated the black dress she had to wear. She just wanted to lie in bed and hug Gerry’s pillow to her chest. She hated the black heels she was wearing; she hated her hair in the tight twist. Really she hated everything about today.

“Holly please.” Her mother whispered. Patricia was a short middle aged woman. She had hazel colored eyes, with short blonde hair. She was the most wonderful mother Holly could ask for. But since their father walked out on her when Holly was only 14, her mother developed this wall. It’s hard for Patricia to see her daughter in so much pain, but she didn’t want to cry with her right now. She did so much to build that wall. She wasn’t ready for it to fall down.

Holly starred up at her mother. She shook her head slightly and walked off with Gerry in her arms. She set the box on the sofa and sat next to him.

“You promised asshole.” She whispered. Holly ran her hand along the black box. She could feel her eyes water again. She didn’t want to cry right now.

This wasn’t the typical burial type funeral. Instead they all got together at Holly’s mother bar she ran a few blocks away from her. Holly stood by Gerry in the corner. Holly’s sister Kara set up Gerry’s picture on the table with twenty-five shot glasses. The black box sat in the middle of all the glasses. Everyone was to say a few nice words about Gerry, and drink a shot in his honor.

Holly patted the box gently as she went to talk to a few people at the bar.

“So where are his parents?” Sharon asked.

“I called them my day off, and Rose said she couldn’t make it. Martin just had another surgery so he needs to stay off his feet.” Patricia said, while filling the glasses with beer.

“She couldn’t leave him with someone and come by herself? I mean it’s her son.” Sharon was upset that none of Gerry’s family came down.

Patricia shrug, “Who knows?”

Holly walked around talking to people, she met up with Gerry’s business partner along with his wife. They passed on their sympathy’s and continued to talk to other people. Holly just wanted to be home right now, she wanted to lie in her bed and cry until she couldn’t anymore. She missed Gerry so much.

Holly snapped her head up when she heard someone clinking against their glass. She smiled when she saw John standing next to Gerry. John was Gerry’s best friend. They met when Gerry applied for a job at the bank. That’s how she met Sharon.

“So I’m going to say a few words about my best friend Gerry.” Everyone quieted down as they all turned their attention to John.

“Gerry……was my best man at my wedding. He would do anything for me if I asked him too. I don’t know how I’m going to live on without him.” John grabbed the bottle of whisky and poured it into his shot. He raised it up with his hand on Gerry’s box.

“To Gerry. May you rest in peace buddy.” John winked at Holly and took the drink in one swallow.

Everyone said kind words about Gerry. Half of the glasses were turned upside down the green cloth was stained with wet spots under each shot. When it was Holly’s turn to say something, she walked up with shaky legs and voice.

She poured her glass first and kept her head down. Holly looked around at everyone watching her with sad eyes.

“There isn’t going to be a man out there like……Gerry.” She had a hard time saying his name out loud.

“He was one of a kind. He was sweet, loyal and a wonderful husband. Gerry was everything I could ask for. Gerry will always be remembered for his kindness…..his humor…..and his heart. He cared and loved every single one of his friends. Gerry will be greatly missed. I will always love him.”

Holly took a drink of her shot and turned the glass upside down, “Goodbye love.” She whispered. Holly ran her hand along the box and took her seat next to Sharon, who took her hand into hers.

After the memorial she helped her mother clean around the bar. Then she hugged her friends and family goodbye as she left for home with Gerry.

When she got home she set the box on the bed. She starred at it for a few moments. Then Holly tore out the pins in her hair, unzipped her dress and threw it somewhere along with her heels. She grabbed her cell phone and dialed Gerry’s number.

“Hey this is Gerry Kennedy. Leave me a message and I’ll get to you as soon as I can.”

Holly covered her mouth at hearing his voice, tears were falling down her cheeks. She crawled under the blankets and redialed his number until she fell asleep.