These Words Are Choking Me Slowly

"So, you miss me huh?" Liam asked for about the millionth time today.

I'd been able to avoid the topic for the rest of first period science. But it turns out that we have every class together except for 6th period. Thank goodness! He has 6th period football and I have 6th period photography.

After we had science we went to our second period economics class. And, of fucking course the teacher let us sit where ever we wanted to and stupid Liam just had to sit next to me.

Then after he spent the entire second period bugging me; we moved on to third period pre-calculus. Luckily, the teacher had assigned seats for us. But, as my great luck would have it, Liam somehow found a way to sit next to me in the front. Saying that he 'couldn't see' from the back of the room and he 'needed a seat closer to the front.'

Bullshit. He has freakin' spider-man type eyes! I remember; one time when we were younger, he spotted an ant on the wall from across the room. …He really was always odd...

"Come on! Just admit it, you miss me!" He said, smiling, again.

We were now at lunch. When I finally thought that I would be able to get away from Liam's persistent ass, damn Danny had to ruin it. For some stupid reason, Daniel felt the need to invite his older brother and his brother's friend 'Derik" to eat lunch with us.

Stupid ass Danny.

I sighed deeply. "Oh my good Gawd! Would you let it go already?! I...I told you. I was kidding." I said tugging at the loose ends of my shirt.

"One thing I'll never forget about you Raynie, is that whenever you lie, you tug on your clothes."

"What? You're freakin' crazy! I do not." I said as I pulled on the bottom of my pants leg.

Laughing, he exclaimed "You're doing it right now!"

Stopping, once I realized that he was right; I stood up tall. I scoffed, "You're senile! I was not." I said, sticking my tongue at him and walking to the lunch line.

After I purchased my veggie sandwich, I felt someone put their hand on my back, steering me in the opposite direction of where me and my friends usually sat.

Thinking it was stupid Liam again, I rolled my eyes, "Liam! First off, don't touch me. Ewe. And second off," I said turning around.

I stopped when I realized that it was Sean, not Liam.

"Liam? What the hell?" Sean exclaimed, jealousy evident all over his face.

"Oh my gosh! What the hell do you want?" I said, shifting my weight onto my right leg as I held my tray to my left side.

"I just-" Sean started.

"Nope. She doesn't like you dude. Get that through your head already," Liam said as he came from behind Sean and threw his arm around my shoulders.

Sean took a step towards me and Liam. “Look, Lewis back off. And get your hands off of my girl!”

“Would you stop calling me that?! I dumped you! Gosh, get over it already. I’m sure Mindy misses you anyways.” I said irately.

Why won’t he just leave me alone?! I never thought he would be the obsessive-ex-boyfriend type.

“Look man, I don’t want to have to be the second Lewis to kick your ass today. What part of ‘she doesn’t like you’ can’t you comprehend? She’s not interested; at all. And now you’re just making a total ass of yourself. Give it up already and move the hell on.” Liam said.

And with that, he steered me away from Sean and towards our table; not waiting for Sean to reply.

Any other time, I probably would've pushed him away and yelled at him for touching me; but he just saved me from a very awkward moment with an, apparently, compulsive ex-boyfriend. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see Liam in the past couple of years.

Once we got to our lunch table, I couldn’t help myself; I jumped up and locked him in a tight hug. "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much, Liam!" I said before I could stop myself from thanking him.

Once I realized that I was hugging Liam I quickly pulled away.

What are you doing Raynie?! He's the enemy! Don't be nice to him. Or he'll never leave. I thought to myself.

Oh gawd, now I’m having conversations with myself again. Great.

Liam obviously didn’t realize my change of mood because he simply laughed when I pulled away from the hug. “No problem Raynie.” He said with a smile.

Before I could say anything else, Erin, Destiny, and Daniel joined us.

As Daniel and Destiny took a seat, Erin pulled me a little away from the table.

“What the hell was that?” she hissed at me when she was sure no one from our table could hear us.

Shit! She saw that stupid hug…think Raynie, think! Ummm…play dumb! Yeaa…I’ll just play dumb.

“What was what?” I asked innocently.

“Don’t try to play dumb with me Raynie! I saw that hug you just gave Liam. Explain.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Guess playing dumb won’t work…what now?! I thought frantically.

“Calm down! Gosh. He just saved my butt from a very awkward talk with Sean. I guess I got a little…over grateful and felt the need to thank him? That’s it.”

“Okay…” Erin said; not sounding too sure of herself. “Raynie…just, be careful would ya? Even though I don’t know exactly what happened between you guys, I know that he hurt you. I saw how much you suffered because of him. I just…I don’t want you to have to endure that again because of him. Okay?” Erin said concerned.

“Oh my- calm down!” I said laughing. “I still despise him and everything. It’s just…I guess I sort of forgot how it felt to hang out with him. I’ll be honest Erin, I miss him…and I know you do too! So don’t try denying it.”

Sighing, Erin whispered, “You’re right. I’ll admit it- I miss him.” Clearing her throat, she continued in a voice a little louder; a little stronger, “But that doesn’t matter. Because he’s changed. He’s not the Liam we used to know and love Raynie. Don’t forget that, okay? He’s hurt me and you…”

“Yeah, I won’t forget. I can’t forget.” I said knowingly.

Erin gave me an uneasy look. As if she wasn’t sure whether or not she should pursue the conversation and try to ask me something. But, luckily for me, she was interrupted by someone yelling out her name.

“Erin! Hey!” a voice behind us, at our table, called.

Turning around, we saw that guy Derik waving us over and smiling eagerly towards Erin.

I nudged Erin in the rib when I saw her smile, just as eagerly, back at Derik.

I chuckled softly, “Dude, really? Liam’s new best friend?”

“Huh?” she asked me as she snapped out of her obvious daydream. Probably about Derik. “Y-You mean Derik?” She stuttered, “What about him?”

Scoffing, “Please, Erin. As if I couldn’t tell already. You like that boy.” I said winking at her, as I began to walk backwards towards our table. “You like him a lot actually. But you don’t want to. I can tell.”

“Wait!” Erin screamed catching up to me and halting me to a stop. “What are you talking about? I do not!”

Laughing at her sad attempt to convince me that she didn’t have a little crush on Derik, I said, “Erin! Hahah, it’s alright buddy. I know you better than anyone else. I doubt anyone’s realized that you have a crush on him.” I said the last part in a sing-song voice- just to piss her off.

“Ohhh…whatever Raynie!” She said slightly blushing and smiling.

We walked over to our table where my lunch and messenger bag were resting. Of course someone had placed it in the seat next to Liam.

Damn my cruel, cruel friends who find my discomfort around Liam amusing.

As I was about to place my bag and lunch in a seat away from Liam, Stephanie and her boyfriend Grey came out of freakin’ no where and stole the only two available seats left. Leaving the only untaken seat the one next to Liam.

So I sat down to lunch; with Erin next to Derik, Destiny next to Danny, Stephanie next to Grey, and me next to Liam. Oh joy.

-----END OF LUNCH. ENTERING 4TH PERIOD-----

As me and Liam walked to our 4th period creative writing class, we talked a little. Well it was more of, he talked and bugged me about ‘missing him’ and I tried to deny it until I finally snapped.

“Would you let it go?!” I screamed for, what felt like, the one hundredth time. I stopped walking, and turned to face him- giving him no other choice but to stop also.

“No!” Liam said stubbornly. “Not until you admit to missing me.”

“Gah, fine! I did, I do! Gosh, would you just get off my back already?!” I screamed before I could stop myself.

Cringing when I realized my error, I thought, Perfect. Now he’ll probably never give up!

Liam looked a little taken aback by my sudden outburst; but then again, so was I. “So…you do miss me, eh?” He said happily. I could already tell that that damn grin was starting to spread across his stupid face I didn’t even have to look at him to know.

Sighing, I gave up. “Yeah,” I said in a defeated voice. “I missed…miss you. …In theory.”

“Wait. What do you mean ‘in theory’? How the hell do you miss someone ‘in theory’?”

Hmmm…maybe I can make this work to my benefit. If I twist the meaning just enough…I might be able to get away with missing him! …Oh gawd, it’s probably pretty pathetic that I’m proud of that…oh well.

“Umm..I miss you in the sense that…in the sense that I miss ummm…stuff.” I said uncertainly.

“What do you mean stuff?” Liam asked suspiciously.

“I mean…all the stuff that…all the stuff that you used to get me! Yeah, all the stuff. That’s what I miss.”

Laughing he said, “Raynie?”

“Yeah?” I said hesitantly. Why is he laughing?

“I know you’re lying.” he said knowingly.

“Wh-What do you mean I’m lying? I mean it! I don’t miss you exactly; I miss the stuff you used to get me. ”

“Dude,” Liam said, still laughing, “you’re pulling at your shirt. This, because I know you so well, tells me that you are- indeed- lying. You miss me- not the stuff I used to get for you.” he said chuckling.

“You’re senile!” I insisted; having to force myself to stop absentmindedly pulling at any article of clothing I had on.

So much for my brilliant plan.