Strange Fascination

A

I got home at a quarter past two, after finishing my morning shift at the diner. I was still dressed in my waitress uniform when I stepped out of the car, not bothering to change. 4.80, 5.25, 8.62…I mentally add up my tips, coming to a grand total of $19.45. Not too bad for a Sunday morning. Shoving the change into my pocket, I made my way to the backyard.

Garrett was sitting by the pool with a little girl seated in his lap. He was the best babysitter any five year old could ask for- and the best babysitter my wallet could ask for. Carefully closing the gate behind me, I tiptoed over to them not making a sound.

“…I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am.”

He was reading from her favourite book, a book the three of us could recite in our sleep. She stops him from flipping the page, demanding to see the pictures again. I can’t help but laugh at this, wondering how kids could make others smile so easily.

“ANDIE!” She cries out my name almost instantly, as her miniature legs come sprinting in my direction. Before I have a chance to move, she hugs tightly onto my legs, blocking all means of escape.

“Hey Emma,” I say, ruffling her golden locks. “Did you miss me?”

A smirk creeps onto her face, exposing her missing teeth.

“Nope!”

I roll my eyes as she skips back to Garrett, singing a song with all the wrong notes. She starts jumping around in circles, extending her arms towards him wanting to be picked up. “Gary! Gary! Andie’s back!” She yells out, as if she found me in an “I Spy” book. “Look Gary! It’s Andie!”

Laughing, he scoops her up from under the arms and swings her on top of his shoulders. “I’m taller than you now.” She states proudly, looking down at me by half a foot. “Emma, get down from there before you hurt yourself.” I sound like my mother.

“Nah don’t listen to her Emmy, she’s just jealous,” Garrett defends her, sticking his tongue out at me.

I place my hands on my hips, putting on my best serious face. “Now.”

With a loud sigh she climbs down from his shoulders, plopping down on the ground. She crosses her arms, avoiding my gaze. “You’re such a bitch someti-”

Garrett hurries to cover her mouth, but is a second too late. He looks at me with a panicked expression that screamed “I swear it wasn’t me.”

I bend down towards the ground until I’m eye level with her. “Emma,” I say calmly. “Who taught you that word?” She points a finger straight at Garrett, her face smug as ever.

“And he gave me this and made me promise not to tell.” She reaches into her pocket and waves out a five dollar bill, handing it to me. “That’s my girl.” I reward her with a pat on the head. Turning back to Garrett, I expect an explanation but natuarally, he is only capable of a comeback. “Gosh Emma, why do you have to be so much like your sister?”

“Because my sister is the bestest.”

It was great having a mini-me.

“I wanna play tag.” Emma tells us, as if she had forgotten about the past 5 minutes.

And so we do. Barefoot across the grass, dying the bottoms of out feet green. I chase Emma. Emma chases Garrett. Garrett chases me. Rinse, lather and repeat. No one is really winning, and no one is really losing. Because that’s the best kind of tag. We keep going and going, because none of us want to stop. And then somehow, both Garrett and I find ourselves chasing Emma, as she screams from the top of her puny lungs. We corner her right up to the pool’s edge, knowing how much she hates water. Just as we’re about to tackle her, she runs through my legs, heading to safety.

“Shit.”

I’m not sure who it was that said this. Maybe it was the both of us. And with that, we lose all forms of balance and fall straight into the pool, head first.

*

“Hey.”

I was caught completely off guard when I felt a tap on my shoulder, nearly dropping all my books. “John.” The surprise is evident in my tone. We haven’t had a normal face to face conversation since the incident last Friday. He remains silent as I shut my locker, and then walks with me down the hall. It’s just the two of us.

“Listen John, I’m really-”

“I was such a doucheb-”

Somehow, we manage to say this at the exact same time. It was enough to break the tension, we were both laughing in no time.

“Just forget it ever happened, yeah?” He tells me, scratching the back of his head- a habit every single guy in the universe seemed to have. I give him a small nod, looking up to return his smile. And that was the only time we ever talked about it.

“You’re going, right?” John beckons to the paper banner above our heads, as we head up the stairwell. ‘SENIOR PROM 07’ is painted in bright blue, coated with gold and silver glitter. Friday’s date is written underneath it in bold block letters. Today is Wednesday.

“Of course I’m going,” I freeze in my tracks, giving him a look as cold as ice. “Don’t you dare tell me you’re not.”

“Andie, when was the last time you saw me turn down a party?”

I laugh, feeling stupid for asking in the first place. “That’s what I thought.”

There is a somewhat brief pause before he starts again, which was unusual. One of the hardest feats in the world was to shut John up.

“So are you going with anyone?”

I shake my head, diverting my gaze towards the ground.

“Woah, woah, woah. So you’re telling me that no one- no one, has asked you to prom?” Apparently this had come as a surprise to him.

“Yeah.” Was it that big of a deal?

“That’s crazy.”

“What are you trying to say?” I shot him a demanding expression, wondering why he had brought this up.

“I’m just confused about how a girl as amazing as you hasn’t been asked by anyone.” It always sounds weird when he gives me a compliment without the intention of making fun of me. Always. Something was up.

“John,” I stop walking immediately, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him from moving. “Are you trying to ask me out?”

With a scoff, he pushes my arm off. “No, silly. I just know some people who would take you to prom in a heartbeat.”

“Garrett doesn’t count.”

“I’m not talking about Garrett.”

Before I can say another word, he disappears through a door on our left, walking into his class.

“Ciao Bella,” he tells me, and then closes the door in my face. It wasn’t until the bell went off that I realized I was late.

*

“Ready?”

Garrett and I are in the fitting rooms of this prom store at the mall. The place is fancy as fuck, I swear. Everything is decorated with lace and smells like one of my mom’s designer perfumes from France. I take a deep breath in, studying my reflection in the mirror. The dress I had on was a cream, off-white color. It made my hair look a lot darker than what it normally was, but in a nice kind of way. I slowly do a 360, making sure everything looks alright from the back.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” I call out to Garrett, who was in the room across from mine.

“Ok. On three?”

I place my hand around the handle as we count to three.

“One...two...three!”

We step out into the open, examining each other from head to toe. To say he looked ridiculously charming would be a horrible understatement.

“Oh my god, Gar, look at you!” I say, turning his shoulders and straightening the back of his tux. “You look like a model or some shit.”

He blushes at my remark, trying to hold back a smile.

“Andie, are you kidding me? Compared to you I look like my dog. Y’know, sometimes I—” he trails off all of a sudden, shaking his thought off and looks down to his feet.

“Sometimes you what?” I hated it when people did that. Especially when he did it.

“Forget it, it’s stupid. You’ll laugh at me.”

“I always laugh at you.”

With a sigh, he gives in, flashing me a meek smile.

“Sometimes, I think you forget how pretty you really are.”

*

Weezer’s Blue Album was turned up all the way, blasting through the stereo of Garrett’s car. The windows were rolled down too, for the whole world to hear. Pat and I are both squished in the passenger seat, with me sitting in his lap. It’s a little past sunset as we’re driving through the outskirts of town. The three of us have put our trust into a map quest print out, passing by unfamiliar street names and foreign road signs. We sing along to the music, so loud that the windshield just might break.

We didn’t have a fancy white limo or a chauffeur in a newly-ironed suit. We didn’t have a flat screen TV in here or air-conditioning that worked. We didn’t have a hundred dollar bottle of champagne or brand new leather seats. Instead, we had a crappy Honda Civic, a couple of punk rock CDs, three cans of Coke, and a radio with four functioning systems. But the thing was, we couldn’t care less. It was enough. Better than enough- it was perfect. And if any of us were given the chance, we wouldn’t even change a single thing.

As soon as we reached the banquet hall, we drove around the parking lot, trying to score a spot. There were only a few spots left, even though the place probably had a capacity of 300. As we drove on, I caught a glimpse of these four girls, dressed in the most beautiful downs I swear you’ll ever see. Each one had a boy holding her hand, smiling like they had won a prize. I watched them as they walked by the car, looking like the happiest people alive. Like it was straight out of some movie. I found myself grinning from just looking at them. But in spite of it all, I couldn’t help but wonder if they would all leave with the same person that they came with.

Or if I would.

“Andie,” Pat nudges me from behind, bringing me back to reality. I almost forgot that I was still in his lap. Garrett had already parked the car and was waiting for us outside. Stepping out of the pavement one four-inch heel at a time, I bottled up all the raging feelings inside of me. I was nervous. I was excited. I was uneasy. I was restless. I was daring. I was ecstatic.

But tonight isn’t about feeling or being any of those things. Tonight is about being who I am and forgetting who I want to be. Tonight is about living in the moment- the present, not for yesterday or tomorrow. Tonight is about letting things happen without asking questions.

Because nights like these really don’t happen all that often, and I’m not the kind of girl who knows how to be patient. And tonight, for the first time in years, I feel like I’ve lost complete control. It’s funny how that doesn’t scare me. Not even a little bit. With a definite smile I turn to face my two wingmen, linking arms.

“Let’s do this.”