Devour

“Here you go.” I said as I handed the cab driver a wad of cash then stepped out of the car. I got my bags from the trunk. I opened the front door and walked inside.

Bam was playing pool.

“Hello brother.” I said as I sat my bags down. His eyes got wide and soon I was engulfed in an enormous hug.

“Oh my god!” My mom screamed as she ran to me.

“Why are you here!? Why didn’t you call?!” She said as she hugged me tightly.

“Be careful, you guys. You’re gonna squish the baby and that’s a felony.” I said, causing them to back away.

My mom looked like she was about to have a stroke, “I’m going to kill you.”

I smiled. Bam winked and nudged me with his elbow, “It was that time in the kitchen right?”

I laughed heartily, “I don’t know.”

He stared at my stomach for a second, “Girl! I called it!”

“Nope, Ville already called girl.” The thought of him made me grow quiet.

“Speaking of freakishly large Finnish men, where is he?”

“Tour.” I replied softly.

“Why aren’t you with him?” He asked as we walked further into the house. I left my bags at the front door.

“I tried too last night but I kept getting sick. There is no way I can do that while I’m pregnant. Plus, you know how hard it was when I was pregnant with Jacob. I don’t want to risk dying again.” I said as I sat on the couch.

“I understand. You have to live with me then!!” He said happily. I rolled my eyes.

“I was going to rent an apartment.” I replied quietly.

“Nonsense!!!” He yelled.

“Bam--” I tried to explain it but once he makes up his mind, it’s made up for good.

It was worthless to try to convince him otherwise.

“Mommy!!” A little voice said as it came running at me, full force. He jumped into my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck.

“You’ve gotten huge!” I said as I admired his long brown hair.

“I am not fat!” He protested. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“No you’re not. You took after your daddy.”

“Where is he?!” He said as he jumped out of my lap and scanned the room. I frowned.

“He’s on tour.” I said as I watched him play with his toys.

“What’s that?” His bright blue eyes held a curiosity that I thought would never be quenched.

“It’s what musicians do after they make an album. They travel all over the world and play their music for people who like to listen them.” I tried to explain it they way a three-year-old would understand it.

“So I can go see HIM?” He asked, his small body jumped up and down in excitement.

Bam snickered, “Jacob, that’s your dad’s band.”

His jaw dropped and he stood there in awe.

----

“He didn’t know that?” Ville replied from the other end of the telephone.

“Nope, so now he’s been bugging the shit out of me.” I said from my spot in the overstuffed club chair. I had my feet propped up on the stool.

“How old is he?” He asked, the tone in his voice fell to barely above a whisper. He was embarrassed that he had missed the time when he should have been there the most.

“He’ll be four in two weeks.”

“Hmm…” was all he said, maybe it was all he could say. Eventually he’ll discover everything he’s missed and then he’ll stop having to pay or be reminded of everything. An awkward silence fell over the conversation.

“We were going to throw a birthday party for him here.”

“He likes us that much?” He asked, partly in shock.

“Apparently so, I had no idea. But he has been around Bam a lot.”

Ville groaned, “He’s getting on my nerves.”

“Jacob?”

“Bam.”

I laughed hesitantly, “Why?”

“Oh, god. He left me fucking 8 voice mail messages since you called to let me know you got there.” He sounded exasperated.

“I’m sorry babe. I’ll talk to him.”

“No, I’m not aggravated at that.” He sighed angrily, “I can’t be there for Jacob’s birthday.”

“Why?”

“I have a show that night.”

“Uh, okay.”

“We’re playing almost every day for the next two days.”

“Why don’t we fly there and he can see you guys and stuff.”

“Great idea! We can throw him a party in the hotel or something.” His voice seemed instantly lightened.