Please Don't Forgive Me

Almost a month had passed and the guys were getting back from tour tonight. I was exhausted, but I wouldn’t let myself fall asleep until Garrett came in. I just wanted to make sure he got back safely. Then tomorrow would be a new day and I would have to face him.

I heard the door open and heard him yawn loudly around two thirty. When I didn’t hear his bedroom door close I assumed he had fallen asleep on the couch, so I wandered out into the living room. His shoes were kicked carelessly off and to the side of the coffee table and his body was twisted on the couch. I smiled to myself, noting how peaceful he looked when he was asleep; noting how young he looked. I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and placed it carefully on top of him.

Realizing that he wouldn’t be sleeping in his bed, I dragged myself into his room and curled up in the embrace of the two-hundred fifty thread count sheets I had become so accustomed to. I buried my head and mess of auburn waves into his pillow and sighed contently. I would fall asleep again in his bed. I would fall asleep so much faster than I could have in my own bed simply because it was almost as if I had him next to me; even if it was just second best.

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I woke up the next morning to the sun coming in Garrett’s window. I rolled over to look at the guitar shaped clock on his nightstand and it read ten fifteen. I pulled myself out of bed still wearing a long t-shirt I had stolen from him and a pair of my own short shorts.
I slipped quietly out into the living room to find that the shoes had been moved and the blanket folded. He was standing in the kitchen, in only sweatpants, making coffee. I slid past him to grab a bowl from the cabinet and the cereal from the counter. “Could you pass me the Cheerios?” he asked quietly. I handed him the box and he sat down on the stool at the island. “Thanks.” I nodded and poured myself Golden Grams and slowly pouring milk on top.

I crossed the kitchen to sit at the table in the corner and I wondered if we were ever going to talk about it. “Anika,” he called softly. I looked up to find him holding up a skewer with a white paper towel wrapped around it. I laughed softly and smiled at him. “I surrender.”

“So?” I asked quietly. I didn’t know what this meant for our friendship or for anything else.

“So, how long have you been sleeping in my room?” he chuckled. I bowed my head embarrassed.

“Since I got home,” I confessed. I stood up to put my bowl in the sink and walked over to him.

“Why?” he asked, pushing my hair out of my face. I looked away, afraid of how this might turn out.

“Just say it. Garrett, just say it.” I could feel tears forming in my eyes and I didn’t want them to fall.

“I already did. In that message and in all of the voicemails I left you.” I looked up at the ceiling to force the tears back to where they came from.

“Then say it to me again. Tell me again. Say it to my face. Garrett, tell me those three little words.” He put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer.

“I love you.” He moved one hand up to stroke my cheek and he wrapped the other around my back. “I love you so much Ani. When you were hurt and I thought I might have lost you it was killing me. I need you.” I smiled and we moved our faces together until our lips met. The kiss was soft, the kiss was slow, the kiss was passionate, and it was everything I could have hoped for. Both of us may have had morning breath, but we didn’t care.