Please Don't Forgive Me

"What's wrong?" He asked rubbing my back and holding me close. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" I sobbed and moved myself closer to him. In response he held me tighter and I started sobbing harder. "Ani, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Did I pressure you?" he questioned worriedly. I shook my head 'no' and burried my face deeper into his chest. "Anika, look at me." I lifted my tear stained face and looked at him with my glassy green eyes.

"Nothing's wrong," I sobbed, "that's the problem." He smoothed out my hair and kissed the top of my head. "It was perfect. You were perfect."

"Then why are you crying?" He asked softly. "If everything is perfect, then why cry?" I wiped my eyes and turned to look at the wall and then at Garrett.

"Because everything isn't perfect. You are and we are and the sex is. But not everything.". I paused and inhaled sharply. "Everything isn't perfect because this should've been my first. Not Dane."

"That was your first? You were a virgin?" he asked stroking my cheek. I nodded my head and curled back into his side. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he kissed the top of my head. "I love you so much and I wish I could take away everything that happened; all the hurt and pain and sorrow and fear. I'm so sorry. If I could go back in time and keep it from happening, I would." He paused to lift my chin and kiss me softly on the lips. "I'm sorry about the things I said that night on the bus. I'm sorry that I didn't go after you. I read the reply you sent Kenny from the plane and I felt like shit. I'm sorry for everything." I looked up with cloudy eyes and took in the softness of his features, the disaray of hair on his head, the clear blue of his eyes.

"None of it was your fault. And everything happens for a reason, right?" He nodded silently.

"But why would all of this happen to you?" I looked out the window and shrugged an 'I don't know,' because I didn't.