Please Don't Forgive Me

Thursday, Thanksgiving came and went. It flew right by. It was celebrated with both of our families, and my parents couldn’t have made it more uncomfortable. All they wanted to know was how long had Garrett and I been ‘fucking around’ and all they talked about was how letting me live with him was a bad idea from the start.

His family, on the other hand, was ridiculously pleasant. His mother had only found out he was home two nights ago when he ran into her in 7-11. I had been craving ice cream and that was the only place open at eleven thirty at night. She was shocked to see him home and angry that he hadn’t once mentioned it to her. When she found out why he was home, she was a little more understanding.

“So, Anika, when are you due?” she asked softly and pleasantly. I looked up to answer as I could feel my parents glaring at me.

“Early June,” I answered with a smile. Garrett’s arm found its way around me and he kissed the top of my head.

“Tomorrow we should start looking at stuff. With all of the Black Friday sales,” he said turning back to his food.

“What would you need to look for?” my mother questioned with a scoff. I rolled my eyes and took a roll from the basket in the center of the table. “You guys are putting the baby up for adoption, aren’t you?” I nearly choked on my piece of bread, and Garrett’s fork slipped out of his hand. Everyone at the table seemed to freeze; all motion ceased.

“You can’t be serious,” Garrett began speaking. “You expect us to just give up our family?” He grabbed my hand under the table.

“What family?” she asked with a laugh. “You two and an unwanted infant? You two are too young to have a family. You aren’t even married.” I rolled my eyes again at my mother.

“It’s twins actually, and if I didn’t want them, I would have had an abortion. And we’re not too young. We’re in love and we’re going to make this work.”

“With him half way across the country most of the time? Do you really think its that easy? And you think you two will last?” I could feel tears starting to form and I refused to let them fall. It would only give her what she wanted.

“Yes, I know it will.” I stood and walked into Garrett’s room and he followed.

“Just ignore her,” he whispered pulling me into a tight hug.

“What if she’s right? What if we can’t do this? What if we don’t last?”

“You’re really going to believe her?” he asked surprised.

“No. I’m not going to believe her, but her point is valid. You’re always away on tour and I’m here. What if you find someone else? What if you hate this life so much that you don’t want to come home to me and two screaming, crying babies?”

“I will always want to come home to you and our family—whatever it may entail. Crying, screaming infants and long, never ending, sleepless nights are all worth it. It’s all worth it if we have our family.” I nodded and buried my head in his chest. “And I will be here when they’re born and I will be here for their first birthday. The first steps and first words I can’t guarantee. I can’t be sure that I’ll be here for the first laugh or any of that, but I’ll be around as much as I can. I’ll be here when it counts the most. I’ll be here for birthdays and Christmas and Easter and anything else.”

“Are you sure?” I asked softly.

“As sure as I can be. This Thanksgiving you and our children are what I am thankful for.” I smiled and looked up at him.

“Really?” I questioned. He smiled and chuckled.

“You’ve always been what I’ve been thankful for. Now I just have more.”

“And I’ve always been thankful for you.” I buried my head in his chest again. He would be gone again in two days and neither of us dared to mention it. We both acted as if he’d be there for an eternity.