Please Don't Forgive Me

"Why don't you just go home?" I whispered softly to Garrett. "You've been here way too long. Just take Morgan home. The nursery is set up and it's wrong to keep him here so long."

"But we don't want to leave you," he sighed. "And besides, I don't know how to take care of a baby. This is all new to me; I'm still learning."

"So am I." I squeezed his hand and he stood quickly.

"When can you leave?" he asked gently. "Can you really be discharged tomorrow." I nodded in response but kept my mouth shut. I didn't really enjoy leaving Emma here alone. It wasn't something I wanted to do. "And Emma?"

"It's probably going to be a week or so. But Garrett, I can't just leave her here alone."

"If we come visit her everyday then we aren't really leaving her," he argued. He had a point but I wasn't willing to agree. "You need to come home. Morgan needs to come home. We all need to go home, Ani. It isn't healthy to live in a hospital if you don't have to."

"I beg to differ," I replied dully. "She's here and I can't just give up and leave her."

"But you wouldn't be leaving her," he sighed.

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It was the next day and Garrett had somehow convinced me to go home. We left with Emma still in the hospital. We just left her there and it was driving me nuts.

I cradled Morgan in my arms and tried to will him to sleep which was definitely not working. I tried to give him a bottle, I checked his diaper, I sang to him, but it was to no avail. He continued to scream as loud as his tiny lungs would allow him and I couldn't make it stop. The minute he was in Garrett's arms though, he would stop. He would quiet down and fall asleep. I wasn't going to lie--I was a little bit jealous of Garrett. Morgan had been a part of me for almost nine months and he hated me. He wanted nothing to do with me.

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It was 2 a.m. and neither of us were ready to deal with the crying. Garrett crawled out of bed because we both knew that I couldn't quiet Morgan. "Sorry," I mumbled quietly as he stood. He leaned down to kiss me before replying.

"It's not a problem," he smiled. He walked out of his room and toward what once was my room. I stood quickly to follow. Even if I couldn't calm my son I should at least be there. "Shh," Garrett cooed picking up the infant. I had to hold back a small laugh because Garrett holding an infant seemed so surreal.

"You're great with him," I smiled. He smiled and walked over, passing the baby into my arms. "I'm not," I added worriedly.

"Of course you are; you're his mother." I cradled the infant as he whimpered. "He just needs to get used to you; you weren't there the entire first week. And it isn't your fault. You were in a coma." I shuddered involuntarily and held Morgan close to me, a smile spreading across my face.

"I'm here now." Garrett smiled back and we just stood there; Morgan in my arms and Garrett on my side. My family was almost complete. Almost being the key word.