Please Don't Forgive Me

4 years later

“No, Morgan. Not right now,” I sighed unpacking the rest of the groceries. “Go get ready for soccer. And tell Emma…nevermind.” I placed the orange in the bowl and hollered her name.

“Yes mommy?” she asked wandering into the kitchen. “Go put on your leotard and get ready for ballet. I’ll take you after we drop Morgan off at soccer.” She nodded quietly and ran toward her room. “Be careful,” I warned. All in all she wound up healthier than expected. She was certainly a miracle.

“Hey,” Garrett smiled walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I turned around slightly and pecked him on the lips. “Busy day?”

“As always. I have to take Morgan to soccer, Emma to ballet, and Addison has a doctor’s appointment.”

“Do you want me to do something? Do you want me to take the baby to the doctor?” He pressed his lips against the top of my head and then messed up my hair with his chin.

“No, I think I’ve got it. Mia said she’d keep an eye on Emma at dance. Kenny is the soccer coach so I’m not too worried about Morgan. You can come with me though if you want. You know how fussy Addy gets in the car.”

“I’ll go. Did you remember to give Kenny Morgan’s inhaler?” I nodded quickly and laid out Emma’s pills on the counter.

“Yes. Kenny has the inhaler, and Emma’s going to take her pills and Mia has an inhaler for her, and then we’ll be good to go.”

“I still can’t believe that after all that worrying we put ourselves through the worst of it all is her asthma.” I smiled and laughed.

“I’m glad. So maybe she needs a nebulizer treatment or she can’t run as fast as the other kids, but at least she can run.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled, but they prepared us for the worst. And we expected to be in and out of doctor’s offices everyday with her.” He smiled brightly at me and began speaking again. “But you were right; she is strong. Everything is working out.” I smiled and kissed him quickly on the lips. “Emma!” he called.

“Daddy!” she squealed jumping into his arms.

“Hey sweetheart, time to take your pill before ballet, okay?” She nodded quickly and swallowed her medication and drank her glass of water. I smiled brightly at Emma. She had grown so much and she was so strong. Her strawberry blonde hair bounced in her pigtails and her bright blue eyes sparkled. “Morgan, time to go,” he yelled across the apartment. He strutted into the living room dressed and ready for soccer.

“He’s so you,” I laughed. “He so has your personality.” He put both hands on his hips and scrunched his face up. Garrett smirked at him and he imitated the smirk.

“And she’s exactly like you.” I smiled and laughed lightly.

“Morgan, come on,” I grabbed his hand. I threw the baby bag over my shoulder and picked up the car-seat carrier that Addy had already fallen asleep in. Garrett picked up Emma’s dance bag and Morgan’s soccer stuff and locked the door on his way out.

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“We haven’t toured since you were pregnant with the twins,” Garrett sighed walking up behind me.

“I know that Garrett. It’s just gotten so…normal, that it’ll be weird if you’re gone,” I sighed, trying to settle Addy in her crib. “What do I say when Emma is screaming for you when she has a nightmare? Or what about Morgan when he wants to play sports? What do I do then? Or what about the soccer team? Kenny is the coach. And Hannah just had Carter and Mia’s pregnant. Kenny and John are still going to leave?”

“The Maine hasn’t done an east coast show in four and a half years. It’ll be a short tour. A month, that’s all.” I sighed and picked Addy up as she continued to fuss. “Here,” he said softly taking her out of my arms.

“Garrett,” I sighed. “What am I going to do without you here?” He shushed the baby and looked up at me with sad eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this all alone. I have work and daycare will cost a fortune.”

“Can’t you take a leave of absence? It isn’t a long tour, I promise.” He put Addy down in her crib and turned back to me. “I’ll be back before you even know I’m gone.” I shook my head and tears started to form. “No, don’t cry, Ani. Please, don’t cry.”

“I’m pregnant Garrett.” His eyes widened and then he wrapped his arms around me tightly. “I don’t want to do this alone.”

“You won’t be alone, Ani. I’ll be back in less than a month. It won’t be that long. I’ll be back before the baby kicks, before we find out the sex and definitely before you give birth.”

“But I can’t deal with them and the morning sickness. I can’t do it all. It’s too much.”

“It’s okay to ask for help,” he whispered gently. “What about Allison? Would she be willing to help you out for a few weeks?” I shrugged. She would be without Jared and she would probably be as mopey as I was. “I’m sorry Ani. I really am. If we had known before… But now, I have to go.” I nodded and sighed as he walked away. He was leaving in three days and he had to pack.

“We’ll,” I sighed looking down at Addy. “I guess it’s us and them for a while.” She cooed quietly and smiled at me. I couldn’t smile back.