Baby, You're So Gone.

I stared up at the ceiling of the tour bus that night, feeling wide awake. Nick was right next to me on the pull out bed, snoring softly- the tune was comforting me like a lullaby would. For some reason, there were cheap florescent stars on the ceiling, casting a soft eerie glow on my skin. I stared at it, tracing it's shape with my gaze over and over.

I knew what I had to do, I just couldn't find the strength to do it.

I turned my head to the left, my gaze going to the clock on the microwave next to the sink. The numbers 4:36 flashed in front of my face, giving me a deadline. Nick or someone else would be up in about two hours which meant I had to get out of here before they got up.

I turned on to my back and then my right side, facing Nick's sleeping figure. He was on his back, arm thrown behind his head and the other around my shoulders. I watched as he breathed in and out, his chest rising with the action. Even in sleep, his hair was perfectly messy and his face was calm. His pink lips were slightly separated, air wheezing in and out. I could've stayed here, watching him sleep forever, but I had to get up. I had to leave.

Slowly and carefully, I got up out of the bed and grabbed my gym bag that had been right beside the couch. I tiptoed over to the bathroom, towing the bag with me. In there, I took a quick shower and dressed in a pair of white shorts and a black shirt, slipping on my converse after wards. I turned to face the mirror and sighed; why was I doing this?

I watched the unfamiliar girl in the mirror with the frown on her face and the sad look in her eyes- she had become a stranger to me. Nothing was the same about her; not the way her hair fell past her shoulders, not the way her eyes looked, not the way her lips were shaped, not the way she held herself.

It was safe to say I had changed a lot.

I grabbed my toothbrush from the sink and stuff it in my bag then zipped it up and slung it over my shoulder. I walked out of the bathroom and past the bunk of my sleeping friends and finally to the sofa bed where Nick laid.

My heartbeat accelerated when I saw him, as it always did. A smile softly came to my lips as I watched him sleep again. Tiptoeing to him, I brushed my lips against his, fearing that this might be the last time I ever kissed him- the last time I ever watched him sleep, the last time I would ever see him.

He stirred softly and I backed away quickly, not wanting to wake him up. I stared at him for a moment longer and turned my back on him, pushing past the curtain that separated the driver and the bus. I looked over my shoulder and at Nick, feeling something inside of me change.

"Goodbye." I whispered, then headed out the door and into what would be my new life.

If I'm doing this right
I'll be leaving tonight
I got my bags packed tight
So many reasons to leave
I got my hands on my keys
Yeah, I'll be leaving tonight.