Baby, You're So Gone.

I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel and bobbed my head along to 3oh!3 on the radio, moving my lips to the lyrics. My eyes fell to my phone, which had been thrown on the passenger seat and turned off. It had been going off like crazy with texts and calls from Nick and the boys but it was just causing me stress. I was doing this to get rid of my anxiety, not add to it.

I checked my rear view mirror and sighed as if I had been expecting to see my small town behind me. Truth was, Georgia was hundreds of miles behind me, replaced by long lasting roads and hot deserts that made me feel all alone in this world. It seemed crazy to believe that more than twenty four hours ago, I had been talking to my mother.

A chill lingered in the air as I walked to my Mother's house. My plan was simple; to get to the car and leave without being noticed. The last thing I wanted was to talk to Mom.

As I approached my car, the front door opened and I heard Mom giggle, walking out of the house with a smile on her face. When her eyes landed on me she froze, confusion washing over her features.

I shifted my weight from one foot to another, letting out a breath. "I'm taking the car." I stated.

Mom nodded, pursing her lips as if she was wondering what she should say next. "Where are you going?"

I looked away from her and to the sky, which was already beginning to lighten. "I don't know." I answered truthfully.

She didn't argue, didn't look disappointed and her face betrayed no judgment on her part. I wondered if she saw shock in my eyes, because that was what I was feeling.

"Have fun." She replied, a small smile lifting her lips.

"I'll try." I ran a hand through my hair and turned away from her to open the car door but then I spun around to look at her again. Staring into her honey brown eyes, I struggled to find the right words; the ones that would describe what was going on inside me.

"Why..." I took a breath. "Why are you so understanding of all this?" I blurted out.

Her eyes shined in the dim light and she suddenly looked much older than she had been recently acting. "Because I know what its like to be crushed under all this weight and wanting nothing more than to get out from under it." She paused, as if she were remembering a memory. "I know I'm in no position to say this but me and your father tried. We were so young when we had you, we didn't have anything figured out. I know we weren't the best parents out there and I hope you can forgive us one day, because we're only human after all...

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't judge us too harshly. When your father left it killed me, but overtime I understood why and I managed to forgive him. What you're feeling now is what we've all dealt with, just in different ways. If I could do it again, I'd fix all my mistakes but you, are not a mistake." Her eyes filled with tears. "You're the miracle of my life, even if I don't show it."

I stood there, trying to process it all. Everything made sense but it wouldn't sink in- it was too much for me to understand at once. I could feel the resentment towards my parents slowly creep out of my heart and I know I would forgive them one day.

"Have a good trip, honey. I love you." That was the first time she had told me that in five years.

I nodded stupidly, murming an 'I love you too', then cleared me throat. "What is Dad's name?" I asked, feeling like I was ten years old again.

"Eli James Carter." She stated. "He lives on the west coast, Los Angeles."

"Thank you, Mom." I half smiled.

Mom smiled as well and waved goodbye. "Have a safe trip."

Thirty hours later and here I am; driving destination unknown. I just need a change of scenery- I change in my life. So I let my instincts guide me to where I needed to go.