Status: in the making
Veggie Head
Long
August 10, 2010
It's been so long since I've updated this thing.
To tell the truth, I've been feeling so many different things. I left Germany on June 14th, and I've been in Alabama since then. I leave here in two weeks.
Before I left, I decided something.
The guy I've liked (the same guy that's played the starring role in this year of my life) had finally broken up with his girlfriend. They'd been on and off for a while, but he'd finally broken it off for good. So I decided I'd finally tell him I still liked him. We'd been flirting back and forth for the longest time, even more after he broke up with his girl. We went swimming together, and towards the end, it was nothing more than a cat and mouse-like chase. I chased him, then he'd turn around and chase me.
He left at one point, and I started talking to one of his best friends. After talking to him, I decided then I'd tell him.
So once we dropped him off at his house, I told him. Right before I'd asked if I could have a word, he started to ask if I'd be online later. I didn't think at all. I just told him.
He seemed surprised, though I swore he knew it was coming.
So after that I'd wondered if I'd done the right thing.
That was on the Saturday before I left. Monday was my last day at school. I avoided him all day. We only talked once for less than five minutes. I was freaking out, it was my last day.
After I left for the states, I'd began to obsess about the whole thing. I obsessed about it for about a month until finally sending him a message about it, trying to clear things up. We were talking, and then I told him how I'd liked him for a really long time, and he didn't reply after that.
But after that, I began to feel better. Like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. I began to forget about him during the day. I'd stopped obsessing over him. I felt better about myself. It was easier to talk to other boys without feeling guilty.
Now, I'm starting to dread going back. I've got two more weeks until I'm back to reality. I'm not ready for it.
I'm stressing on what to choose as my extra curric. I'm worrying about how I'm supposed to start volunteering.
I'm not ready to go back. I miss my friends and everything, but even with them, I've been happier here then back home.
I'm really not sure what to do about anything.
I feel like as soon as I get back, I'll start feeling bad again. I'll start feeling like I have this whole year.
I'm desperate. I'd do anything to make these last two weeks stretch on forever.
"Life sucks, and then you die."
He's right, you know.
It's been so long since I've updated this thing.
To tell the truth, I've been feeling so many different things. I left Germany on June 14th, and I've been in Alabama since then. I leave here in two weeks.
Before I left, I decided something.
The guy I've liked (the same guy that's played the starring role in this year of my life) had finally broken up with his girlfriend. They'd been on and off for a while, but he'd finally broken it off for good. So I decided I'd finally tell him I still liked him. We'd been flirting back and forth for the longest time, even more after he broke up with his girl. We went swimming together, and towards the end, it was nothing more than a cat and mouse-like chase. I chased him, then he'd turn around and chase me.
He left at one point, and I started talking to one of his best friends. After talking to him, I decided then I'd tell him.
So once we dropped him off at his house, I told him. Right before I'd asked if I could have a word, he started to ask if I'd be online later. I didn't think at all. I just told him.
He seemed surprised, though I swore he knew it was coming.
So after that I'd wondered if I'd done the right thing.
That was on the Saturday before I left. Monday was my last day at school. I avoided him all day. We only talked once for less than five minutes. I was freaking out, it was my last day.
After I left for the states, I'd began to obsess about the whole thing. I obsessed about it for about a month until finally sending him a message about it, trying to clear things up. We were talking, and then I told him how I'd liked him for a really long time, and he didn't reply after that.
But after that, I began to feel better. Like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. I began to forget about him during the day. I'd stopped obsessing over him. I felt better about myself. It was easier to talk to other boys without feeling guilty.
Now, I'm starting to dread going back. I've got two more weeks until I'm back to reality. I'm not ready for it.
I'm stressing on what to choose as my extra curric. I'm worrying about how I'm supposed to start volunteering.
I'm not ready to go back. I miss my friends and everything, but even with them, I've been happier here then back home.
I'm really not sure what to do about anything.
I feel like as soon as I get back, I'll start feeling bad again. I'll start feeling like I have this whole year.
I'm desperate. I'd do anything to make these last two weeks stretch on forever.
"Life sucks, and then you die."
He's right, you know.