Tappin' on Your Window

The day had come when Stephen was going to spend his last day with Hailey. She was upset with his leaving and hated that she would be left again, but it was impossible for her to go with. Not if she wanted to take a summer semester of college. The two did not want to let the other go, for it was always weird when they were apart from each other. Neither of the two would be lonely, Stephen couldn’t be due to all the bands he was going on tour with, and Hailey’s friend Sarah had returned from college a few days before. It was difficult for Sarah, who had been a way from Brian for months because she had gone to college in Michigan, only to come back home for him to be leaving. Hailey thanked her lucky stars that she wasn’t in a situation like that. She didn’t know if she would be able to tolerate that long of a time without seeing Stephen.

Hailey sat cross-legged on the lawn in the front of her house. She was pulling at the clovers and dandelions surrounding her, tying them together while Stephen had gone inside to get them two waters. Though they were both accustomed the heat, it was the hottest day of the summer so far, a whopping ninety-seven degrees, and both of them were dying. Carefully, Hailey studied the clovers and dandelions, making sure that as she tied them, they wouldn’t break. By the time Stephen had returned, Hailey had finished one and was working on a second, smaller-looking one.

“Stephen, I made you a present,” she said as he handed her one of the waters.

“Are you that bored, Hails?” He laughed, taking it from her and putting it onto his wrist.

“Maybe just a tad.” Hailey paused to take a sip of her drink. “The heat just makes me feel so lazy.”

“Don’t blame the heat on that!” Stephen laughed.

“In mock anger, Hailey let her jaw drop, and she smacked his arm lightly. She wasn’t lazy, in fact, she had never been. Her room was always clean and when her parents asked her to do something, she would. She liked to be productive, always wanting to do something, but around Stephen, Hailey could be perfectly content with doing nothing. Stephen wasn’t one to be lazy either. He didn’t mind working. Perhaps that was a leftover trait from the intensive soccer training he had, or maybe it was just part of his personality.

“Stephen,” Hailey giggled, “your hair is beginning to curl.”

“Damn it,” he muttered. “This humidity is going to kill me.”

“Oh, it looks fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“Sure, that’s what you say!”

“I’m serious, it looks cute.”

“Lies,” Stephen said flatly.

Hailey shook her head and lied down, placing her hands under her head so her hair wouldn’t get dirty. Stephen mimicked her actions, lying down next to her, the two of them gazing up at the clear sky. Both were avoiding talking of him leaving. Instead, they let their thoughts fill with the inevitable of what was going to happen. Hailey knew that she was going to cry for at least two days straight. Stephen knew that he would lie alone in his bunk, wanting nothing more than to be climbing through her window and crawling into bed with her. The two would be miserable for days before things got better. They wouldn’t want to talk or eat or live. And it would be harder for Stephen who would have to fake it like he was okay because if he wasn’t, awful rumors would be spread about him and the band and everything. He couldn’t let that happen.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Hail’s,” Stephen responded. “More than you could imagine.”

“I’m sure I could. I’m going to miss you that much and maybe even more.”

Stephen sighed and scooted closer to the girl. Hailey glanced over at him and gave a feeble smile. Sighing, Hailey sat up suddenly and pulled Stephen to his feet quickly. She stepped into her flip flops and began to walk down the street, Stephen trailing behind her. As he caught up with her, his shoes on his feet now, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into him. Despite the heat, and the fact that that would only make the two warmer, Hailey didn’t move away and Stephen didn’t drop his arm. He wanted to feel her close to him for as long as he could.

“Where are we going?”

“I have no idea. Here, there, anywhere.”

“You are so weird sometimes.”

“And like you’re not?” She challenged.

Stephen grinned. “Got me there,”

The sun was high in the sky despite the day growing later and later. It was nearing nighttime when they had left her house and it seemed like the minutes were passing like seconds. They wanted this day to pass slowly, to be able to revel in it, rather than for it to speed away like a getaway car. It wasn’t like the two wouldn’t communicate while he was gone. That wasn’t the point. The point was that the two would have to go weeks on end without seeing each other when normally they saw each other every day. This time, everything was hurting worse. It was apparent why, to both of them, but they couldn’t see why it was hurting the other so bad. It was clear and simple that Hailey loved Stephen and that Stephen loved Hailey, but neither could see it the other way around. They thought the other just wanted to be best friends forever, thought that the other didn’t think about them romantically. Sadly, they would be okay if the other never knew their true feelings because it was enough to just be around them.

“Do you know where we are going yet?”

“Not really. Why? Do you have an idea?”

“No. As long as I am spending time with you though, I’m happy.”

Hailey smiled and kissed his cheek quickly. She loved hearing Stephen say things like that. They made her smile to no end and the butterflies in her stomach went crazy. Stephen loved to say things like that to her because it made her and smile and God, did he love that smile. He thrived on doing things that would make her smile and laugh. He wanted her to always be happy, and when she wasn’t, Stephen was sad. Her smile lit up her face for a few moments before faltering again. The realization of him not going to be there to cheer her up like that for weeks was setting in.

“Let’s go to your house.”

“My house?” He asked. “Why?”

“So I can see your mother.”

“You see her every day that I’m gone, Hailey.”

“Why are you so difficult?” Hailey laughed.

“I am not being difficult. I was just asking why you want to go there.”

“Well, for one thing, it’s dinner time, Stephen.”

“Oh yeah, mom invited you over for the goodbye dinner.”

Hailey laughed again while Stephen mumbled incoherently under his breath. It was tradition for his parents to have a goodbye dinner for their two sons and invite Hailey to it. For when the boys left, they were leaving their parents and Hailey behind, and already their parents thought of Hailey as a daughter. And if Hailey were to go on tour with the boys, the dinner would be for her as well. She made a point to visit his parents when they were gone as much as she could because she knew that it made his mother feel better. It made his father happy as well.

The dinner was always big and hearty. Something to keep the boys full for awhile, their mother would say. The five of them would talk for hours as they sat around the dinner table, eating themselves until they thought their stomachs were going to explode. His parents would talk about how proud they were and how they would miss their boys. Stephen and John would assure them that they would call and be back before they know it. And Hailey, she would be assuring them she would come over to visit while they were gone.

“Well, Hailey,” Lisa said. “Are you going to enjoy college while Stephen and John are gone?”

“Probably not,” Hailey laughed. “I’m sure I will do okay with the overload of work, but they won’t be there to amuse me when I get frustrated.”

“You can always call them,” Alexander said.

“That is true,” Hailey said. “I’m sure they’ll be sick of me by the third or fourth day with my calls.”

“Hardly,” Stephen scoffed.

“I don’t think we will,” John said. “I mean, we’ve put up with you for all these years, I think phone calls can be handled.”

The table erupted with laughter and when they quieted down, things got serious again. The realities that the boys were leaving were finally hitting them all. Tomorrow morning the van would be loaded and they would be leaving for two months. Hailey was so proud of Stephen, and John, but she was also selfish and wanted Stephen to stay behind with her. The distance between them never put a strain on their friendship. It never made them angry. All as it did was sadden them, make them miss each other. And when they were reunited, all was right in the world.

Stephen walked Hailey to the door that night and stood with her in the doorway. For a few minutes, they just looked at each other, eyes fixated on faces, knowing they wouldn’t be seeing the other face in person for ages.

“Are you coming over tonight?” Hailey asked.

“I don’t know. Probably not, though. I have to leave early and everything. It might be best for me to stay here.”

“Oh, okay. I understand.”

“You’ll be here tomorrow, right?” Stephen asked. “When I leave?”

“I wouldn’t miss being here for the world, Stephen.”

“Good,” he said. “See you tomorrow then.”

“Bye,” Hailey said.

“Call me when you get home. I want to know you got there safely.”

“Will do.”

That night, Hailey crawled into her bed, lonely and sad. It was one of the first nights Stephen was home that she knew for sure he wouldn’t be coming over. She wouldn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to open the window for him. Hailey tossed and turned as she tried to fall asleep, but she couldn’t get comfortable and she couldn’t get her mind to shut off. Too many thoughts were running through her head at one time. When she finally got to sleep, her dreams were terrible. Stephen had left, telling her he wouldn’t be returning, reducing her to a sniveling mess. A knocking sound woke her up, making her confused, wondering why her mind would be playing tricks on her, until she saw his face in the window.

Hailey ran to her window, opening it with a force strong enough to make it shatter, and watched as Stephen climbed in. “Stephen, you said you weren’t coming over!”

“I couldn’t sleep,” He admitted.

“Oh,” Hailey said. “Well, come on, maybe you’ll be able to now.”

“Wait, have you been crying?”

“I had a bad dream,” she said.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“You left,” Hailey told him. “After telling me you were never coming back. That you didn’t want to come back.”

“That would never happen,” Stephen said, pulling her into a hug. “You know that I love Arizona too much. I love you too much. I could never not come back.”

“Really?”

“I swear that it would never happen, Hails,” Stephen said quietly. “I couldn’t leave you behind.”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard,” Hailey scoffed.

“It would be the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life,” Stephen said.

“Why’s that?”

It was quiet. Stephen didn’t offer a response and Hailey didn’t say anything else after that. It was completely silent, not a sound could be heard, not even her father’s snores. Then, Stephen stood up from where he had sat on her bed and paced the room, muttering to himself as Hailey watched, confusedly. When Stephen turned to look at her, she noticed the hope in his eyes. The glimmer of something he was yearning for.

“Hailey, if I told you something, you would understand right?”

“I can comprehend most of the things you say.”

“I mean, if it involves you,” He rephrased.

“I hope so,” Hailey said, her voice quivering.

“I love you.”

“Excuse me?” Hailey blurted, sure he had said something else. That her ears were playing tricks on her.

Stephen’s face turned red. He turned away from her for a moment and said something inaudible. “I said that I love you.”

“I- I love you, too,” Hailey piped up, standing up and reaching out for him. “I always have, Stephen. Since I was like twelve.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” She shot back.

“Because I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way. What if you thought of me as your brother or something?”

“Then it would be like incest,” Hailey giggled.

“This would not have been good.”

“Then be glad that I don’t think of you like that, Stephen.”

“I am extremely glad, Hailey.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because then I can do this,” he whispered.

Stephen leaned down, parting his lips slightly and kissing Hailey. She was taken back for only a second, reacting quickly before he moved away. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her body pressing up against his. He was in his skinny jeans and a plain white shirt, he hadn’t even undressed from earlier yet and Hailey was in a pair of short shorts, a tank top adorning her upper half. It was the most sensual kiss either of them had ever had and neither wanted to let it end.

“Wow,” Hailey said softly when he pulled away.

“Yeah,” Stephen said awkwardly.

“Where does this leave us?”

“You’d have to wait for me to get back from tour,” Stephen said. “I don’t know if you want to do that…”

“Do you want me to wait?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then I can wait.” Hailey smiled at him. “You won’t do anything on tour, right?”

“Not when I know you’re back home waiting for me.”

Hailey grinned and kissed him again before crawling back into bed, telling him to get in with her. Stephen quickly stripped down, climbed into bed, and waited while she shifted so that her head was on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, wanting to cry because he was going to miss this so much when he was gone. Hailey snuggled deep into his chest and closed her eyes, a smile on her face as she drifted off, knowing just how badly it was going to hurt in the morning when he had to leave.

The van was outside of the Gomez’s house and John was scrambling to get ready, the rest of the band trying to help. Hailey stood out by the van with Sarah, a small smile on her face, but a grimace in her eyes. Sarah was feeling the same way, maybe less and maybe more. She hated that Brian was leaving right after she had gotten back.

“It must suck,” Hailey commented. “Coming back only to have him leave.”

“Yeah,” Sarah sighed. “It really does, but I love him, you know? It’s a hard relationship, but I love him enough that I don’t mind having to wait. I just cherish the times I see him more.”

“I see,” Hailey said.

“What about you and Stephen?”

“Excuse me?”

“Please,” Sarah laughed. “You guys totally macked or something. I mean honestly, I can see it all over your face. His too.”

“Last night,” Hailey blushed, “he came over and we ended up kissing. It felt so good, Sarah. I can’t even comprehend how great it felt. And now he’s leaving right after we told each other how we feel.”

“At least you guys finally told each other. Who cares that he’s leaving now? Sure you are going to miss him, but you two were practically in a relationship every other time he left. It’s not going to differ.”

“I don’t know about that,” Hailey said, watching as Stephen walked over to them. “Now I can miss kissing him.”

Sarah laughed as Hailey pranced over to where Stephen was standing. The rest of the band was coming out of the house, finishing loading the van and saying goodbye to those who had come to see them off. Stephen wrapped his arms around Hailey, pulling her closer and kissed her lightly.

“I’m going to miss that,” Hailey laughed.

“I am going to, too,” he told her.

They were ignoring the immature cat calls, the gasps, and the “I told you so’s” going on around them. They were in their own world for this moment, treasuring it for as long as they could. It was just the two of them, finally as one.

“What are you going to do while I’m gone?” Stephen asked quietly.

“Miss you,” she responded sullenly. “Go to school and miss you. What are you going to do while you’re gone?”

“Miss you,” he told her. “Play the shows and miss you.”

“My bed will be waiting for you,” she told him. “It’s not going to be the same.”

“I know it’s not. Do you know how much I miss it when I can’t come over late at night, tappin’ on your window because I can’t sleep in my bunk?”

“A lot?”

“More than you could probably imagine.”

“Hey! Stephen!” Jess yelled. “We’ve got to get going!”

Stephen turned back to look at her and nodded. “I’ve got to go, Hailey.”

“I know.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too.”

“I love you.”

Hailey nodded and kissed him. “I love you more than you could possibly imagine.”

She kept her eyes on that van as it made its way down the road. And the moment it turned, she let the tears fall. She was going to miss him, more than she had thought she would, and it hurt her to miss him this bad. She could feel the taste of his lips on hers and she pressed her fingers to them gently, feeling the tingling sensation of them being placed upon hers before. From in the van, Stephen stayed silent, not saying a word, not crying, but he pressed his fingers to his lips, feeling hers up against them. He missed her and wanted nothing more than to hop out of the van and run back to her. To kiss her again and let her know how much he loved her. It would be weeks before he saw her again. Months before he was able to get a good night’s sleep with her by his side. But it was okay, because he knew that Hailey would wait for him.