I Wanna Say We're Getting Closer Every Day

R-18; This Chapter includes sexuel content. So if you don't want to read such stuff, then DON'T!
With that, I warned you. – Again.
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I woke up by the noise of a bird singing outside. A sweet, sweet melody.

The air was clean and it smelled like it had rained all night.
I loved this smell, all clean and somehow cold, but still not uncomfortable.
The scent was mixed with something masculine and strong. A really attracting scent. It smelled like autumn and summer, mixed together with happiness and cinnamon.
It reminded one of the last days of summer, when everyone went to walk through the colourful forests, the trees changing colour and sun falling onto the ground, warm and cosy.
By far this was my favourite scent of all.

I shifted a bit, cuddling up into my so soft pillow. It was smooth and fit perfect onto my body. I cuddled up more and pulled me closer, when I realised something shifting as well.
Something pushed me even more onto my pillow, holding me safe and secure.
The pressure around my hip was calming and made feel at ease. It sent warmth running all through my body and I wasn’t even able to question it. It just felt right. Familiar. Meant to be like this.

I was just about to drift away again, when something touched my arm, softly stroking down until it reached my hand.
I wanted to push it away to let me get back to sleep, but instead it held my hand, locking its fingers with mine.
It squeezed my hand lightly. It, also, felt meant to be and in my dizzy state of only being halt awake I accepted it and felt the urge to drift back to sleep now, longing for this dreamless, calm sleep I hadn’t had in a long while now.

I snuggled up even more and was now ready to drift back to sleep again, when I felt something.
More like heard something.
A steady beat, which came from below me. From my pillow. It was calming and also familiar, almost like music that had just the right rhythm. I listened to it for a short time, when I realized I wasn’t going to get any more sleep.

I opened my eyes and had to blink a few times to get my eyes to focus.
My gaze was directed to a wall. A dark green wall with some photos and posters on it. The room was bright, it must have been almost noon by now.
I shifted lightly and looked up.

My eyes wandered up to his black hair. It was standing in all possible directions; it was slightly curly at the ends and it had exactly the same colour as his long lashes that framed his wonderful deep blue ocean eyes.

The fact that they were still closed and he was only on the verge of waking left my heart filled with a warm, calming feeling.

He shifted again and took a deep breath, which made me sink back onto his chest. I closed my eyes and wanted to try sleeping one last time.

I relaxed myself and tried to make me as light as possible.
I also thought about turning away, but his hand around my waist made that impossible.

He shifted again and slightly squeezed my hand by accident as he tried to move a bit.
I was afraid to face him, so I just breathed in the smell the appealed so good to me.
He loosened his grip on my hand again and freed it from mine.
Then he stroke my hair out of my face and softly caressed my cheek.
His fingers travelled along my cheekbone, down to my chin and at last along my lips. The light touch felt good but also tickled a bit and made me grab his hand. His skin was rough, but at the same time also soft and gentle. I pulled it away from my face and shifted again.
He laughed at my movement.
I had to get my eyes to focus again and as I lifted myself up I realized that my bones ached.
I flinched and sat up, which made his hand drop from my hips.

“Good morning, princess” he smiled. I looked over to him.
The innocence in his face was almost gone, only his eyes looked at me as if the sight filled him with wonder.
I brushed the hair out of my face and smiled at him.
There he was laying, without a shirt, his chest muscular and trained, but still so very soft to lay onto.

Only then the unabashed look in his eyes made me remember the very moment both of us had lost control over our emotions.
I felt my cheeks redden and had to look away from his steady and unapologetic look.
With a panicking motion I looked down on myself.
And was filled with relief when I realized I was wearing a shirt and wasn’t my… well, not shirt-wearing self.

“I..” I stared not sure what to say. “W-We..” all of a sudden everything was confusing and I wasn’t to sure of myself either.
“You don’t have to say anything” he said while sitting up, and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear.
The touch of his fingers left a bittersweet taste on my heart.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, still absorbing the memories that came back when my mind just awoke.

“I’ll give you some time alone” he said, looking me in the eyes. Then he leaned in and kissed my forehead.
When I looked up he had vanished into the bathroom that was linked to his room.
I heard the shower start running and let myself fall into the sheets again.

What had I done?!

A deep breath filled my lounges with the now only faint scent that was left in the sheets.

It took me some time to accept the fact that something so unpredictable had happened to me. How could I have lost control like that?!

I closed my eyes and wondered what would have happened if I had just stayed at the playground or at home. But every time tried to think of something else my mind drifted to Jace again. And how he had touched me. Touched me demanding, but still so soft and passionate. And I had known that if I only said one words, he wouldn’t push me.
But I never said a word. Why hadn’t I said anything? Why hadn’t I stopped him?

I recalled his blue eyes, so filled with passion. His lips so soft and inviting
.
I opened my eyes, in shock. Because I hadn’t wanted to say anything. Because I had wanted it. I had wanted him. I had wanted him so much that I even forgot all my resolutions.

My fingers wandered up to my lips, which were burning slightly from the kisses we had shared only a couple of hours ago.

I was just about to get lost in the thought of him again as I heard someone walk up the stairs. My heart stopped.
Please don’t – knock.

“Jace? You awake? It’s me – Mom!” Oh no. No!
I stopped breathing. Within a second I had gathered all my things and pushed them under the bed, searching a place I could hide, but I found none.
There wasn’t enough space under the bed; he even had an open closet.

“I’m coming in sweetie!” she shouted through the thick wooden door.
Then I did the only thing that came to my mind. I slipped into the bathroom, closing the door quietly.
“Mom?” Jace asked, through the shower curtain.

“Jace?” his mom shouted through the room. “Are you in the bathroom, honey?”
She also knocked on that door. What the hell?! One couldn’t really hear her because of the loud sound the water made as it fell down the shower.

I turned. The toilet, the sink, a small white cupboard with towels on it and a shirt and some boxers on the ground, was all there was. A noise came from the door and the knob was being turned.

Oh my god. I was so going to regret this.
As fast as I could and as quiet I slipped though the curtain; Just as the door swung open.

I had my eyes shut but as I felt cold water being splashed at me I tore them open from the shock. Just to see two blue orbs staring right back at me with an amused look plastered across the face.
“Honey? Did you take your brothers shaver?”

________[ SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING! ]___________

“Yes Mom,” he said, slowly and without stopping to smirk. “It’s in the drawer”
Water still ran across me, as I looked down on myself, realizing I was only wearing a huge black T-Shirt, that now stuck on to my body and – why the hell did I even wore such?! – laced panties. Not even a bra.
Not that I could complain, I wasn’t the naked one here, I thought, not brave enough to take my eyes off those blue ones in front of me.
Because I knew if I did, I wouldn’t know where to look.
Jace took a step towards me, grinning, without even blushing.

“What are you doing in here?” he whispered, barely audible.
We heard some drawers open and a stew stuff being taken out.
“You mom” I answered, and almost couldn’t hear myself either.
He took another step towards me, while I stepped one back.
“I can’t find it!” Jace’s mother sighed.

He now stood directly in front of me, being all self-confident, while I felt all unsure and panicking.

He grabbed my hips pulling me closer to him, without taking his eyes off mine. He wore an insolent look, which made my stomach tickle and my bones freeze. I stopped breathing as my body was only an inch away from his, and I started again as his hand stroke my now slightly wet hair out of my face.
He leaned into me and I was desperate to close the distance.
“And you don’t think it’ll be strange for her to see you at the breakfast table, but not in my room?” he whispered with a really deep voice, making my body shiver.
I hadn’t thought about that.
Not that I was able to think straight now.

“Jace?” his mother asked, irritated.
“Hmm?” he asked, putting more distance between us again, dtill caressing my body.
His eyes travelled down my shirt, which clung to my body as if it was my second skin. His hand travelled upward on my shirt, slowly caressing my breast.
“Where exactly is it?”
I wasn’t able to move, or react. I just stood there, biting my lips so I wouldn’t make any sound.
His lips moved away from mine, not that they ever touched, towards my ear, slowly starting to kiss down my neck. The feeling of his touch against my chest and his lips against my neck, my collarbone made me close my eyes, biting my lips even more.

His other hand travelled upwards, pulling my shirt with it, so there was barely any covered skin left. He pulled me closer, his head turning lower. And he stared to kiss my breasts.

I couldn’t help it. I pressed my hand against my mouth, hoping no one could hear those strange noises I tried to suppress, each time he touched me.
I was pressed onto the wall, him standing in front of me, pressing me tightly onto him.
My eyes were still closed as he loosened himself a bit and I felt something stroking my nose.
He took my hand off my mouth and I slowly opened my eyes.
He was only inches away and I couldn’t think anymore. I was lost.
Lost in his eyes, lost by his touch.

“Jace? What are you doing in there?” his mother asked, suspicious.
“Nothing, mother, I just washed my hair. Did you say anything?”

His eyes were only half open and the water had made his lashes even longer. He leaned in again.
“Where is the shaver?” she asked, demanding.
He never took his eyes off mine and I felt his breath on my skin as he answered.
“Second drawer on the left.”
I heard a drawer open. “Oh. Thanks.” She said and took a few steps.
The door opened.
“I’m out!” she shouted and left.
The door closed.

And with that the tension rose up and his lips came crashing down like a plane on fire.
I couldn’t help but kiss back. The taste of his lips left me aching for more.
With one hand I grabbed his hair; the other pulled him closer by his neck.
It was no innocent kiss, it was a rough, strong kiss filled with desire.

I breathed in hard and shallow and his lips were on mine again, his hands travelling up and down my body.
It wasn’t possible being closer, but still I wanted more. I wanted more of him. I didn’t know how that was possible. But I wanted more.

I broke away, gasping for air.
He did the same. His cheeks had started to glow lightly and his gaze was fixed on mine. He looked downwards and started to pull my shirt upwards.
I lifted my arms, shivering lightly when he freed me from that part of fabric that separated my skin from his.
He kissed my neck again, my collarbone, my breasts and I slightly pulled on his hair when his lips finally – after what seemed like a lifetime – found mine again. I let his tongue slip into my mouth again and strongly responded to his kiss. He moaned and I began to gain some confidence.

I returned the favour, first, kissing along his neck, sucking a tiny bit. Then my mouth found his earlobe, which I slightly bit into and kissed downwards again, but just as I was about to plant a few kisses downwards his chest he froze.

His hands grabbed my arms, tight but still gentle and his fingers slid up until he reached my chin, lifting it minimally.
Then he plastered a sweet, innocent kiss on my lips, that couldn’t help but made me flow away.
He suddenly took a step back.

“We have to stop here.” He said, serious, but I could tell it was hard for him to say those words.
My eyes shot up, sending him a questioning look.

I breathed in hard. My heart stopped.

It hurt to breath.

There I was standing, almost naked, willing to give myself to a guy, I swore myself never to get close to, and he – he didn’t want me.

I blinked a few times, turning a bit, covering my body as much as possible.
I wanted to get out, end this misery as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back again.
He stroke along my cheekbone and sighed.
“You are so beautiful” his voice was deep, even deeper as normal, as if he wanted to make those words even more meaningful, but they just left a bittersweet taste on my heart. I could tell he hadn’t lied. So what.

So I was ‘beautiful’, but still not good enough to.. be with him.

I just wanted to get out.
I freed my wrist, and climbed out of the shower, wrapping me into a towel. Then I left the bathroom and put on my cloths as fast as possible.
I didn’t even bother to comb my hair or put on any make up.
I just put my hair in a loose bun and grabbed my purse.
I wanted to get out. That was all I wanted. To get out.

“Melissa” Jace came running out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of trousers. He was just putting on a button up shirt as he approached me.

I blinked the tears away and went for the door.
“Stop” he sighed and pulled me back.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” his voice was filled with despair. And I stopped, but didn’t turn.
“I.. It’s not what it seems.” He added, standing behind me.
“What does it seem then?” I asked. “I feel as if I was just some slutty –“
I turned. “I am not like that. And even though it might seem like that right now, that’s not who I am. You’re bringing out the worst in me and maybe it’s even better off like this. I just leave here. I have to thank you, Jace Matthew, for teaching me to not let myself fall again.”
I opened the door, but just as I was about to get out he slammed the door shut.

He was angry.
“Not let yourself fall again?!” he nearly shouted.
“What do you mean, not let yourself fall again? And I bring out the worst in you?!” his voice was loud, he wasn’t screaming, but it was clear that he was upset.
“What did I do that I brought out the ‘worst’ in you?” I couldn’t look into his eyes.
“I… I shouldn’t have stayed here.” I said clear.
“Why? What happened here that you disgust so much?”
His eyes showed anger, but also pain and confusion.

I took a deep breath.
“Nothing.” I turned again, facing the door and wanted to get out, but his hand still pressed the door close.
“Don’t do that!” he shouted. “Don’t try to push me out of your life!”
“I am not pushing you out! That would mean you would have been part of it first!” I shouted back.
“WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO YOU?” He said and let his hand slip from the door. His voice was hard, cold and really upset. The caring look that he usually looked at me was vanished. Anger replaced it, filled with more rage that I had ever seen on him. He pushed his hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

Tears shot into my eyes. I tried to blink them away, searching for something to say, but nothing came to my mind.

“You did nothing. I was the one to let that happen.”
“To let WHAT EXACTLY happen?!”