I Wanna Say We're Getting Closer Every Day

There's no way of confessing the truth now.

I walked into the class room, still smiling.
Somehow I couldn’t stop.

„Nice of you to join us, Miss O’Gregor. How come you are so late?”
“I’m sorry Mister Martin. I just met my lifesaver.” I smiled.

He somehow seemed irritated by something I didn’t know, so he let me go with a simple ‘Very interesting, take a seat please.’

I sat down, and strangely my mind kept wandering off to this guy, whose hair had shined so golden and looked so soft in the sunlight.
How come I had never seen him before?

The day went by so fast.

______

“What’s wrong with you?” Kesha sat down beside me, handing me a bowl filled with popcorn. Her question had been asked carefully casual.

It’s been another week since I last had the time to sit down and relax at her home. “What do you mean?” I asked, putting some popcorn in my mouth. We were sitting at her bed, watching old Disney movies.

“I don’t understand you.” She pointed out, rolling her eyes.
“I really don’t get it! It seems like you.. I don’t know, I just don’t get you!”
“Obviously you never did, but why does it matter now?”
“Because” she started “You’ve been strange the past weeks.”
She also took some popcorn and started to play around with it.
“Ever since Jace transferred here.”
I just kept looking at the TV. Simba had just met Nala again, after all this time they had been apart.

Then I felt a small tuck.
“Don’t you dare ignore me, young lady!” she took a long breath, looking at the popcorn which she had just thrown at me.
“I saw your hickey.” She nodded knowingly, raising her eyebrows to the max. “I just decided to wait until you would have told me yourself.”
My head turned and I looked at Kesha with a highly sceptical.
“I never had a hickey.”
She grinned. “Oh, honey, of course you did! You just didn’t notice. And it’s been exactly three weeks.”
She took a sip of coke. “I just don’t know if it’s been Nate or Jace that put it on you.”
“What did you just say?” I was shocked. How could she tell these words so carelessly.
“Oh, come on! Don’t give me that look! You know yourself that you haven’t been your old boy-hating self lately. And I don’t judge you, I just wanted to know what’s going on. I always knew Nate and you had a thing, and I’ve always know that something like that would have happened sooner or later. All I’m asking now is, what Jace’s got to do with it. ‘Cause I’m really, really confused now. Nobodys telling me anything! So, what’S that thing with jace?”
“There’s no ‘thing’. Nothing! He has nothing to do with it. There is nothing between us and never will be. What’s more: You do have Blake, why do you care about Jace anyway?”
She swallowed. “Well,” then she took a breath. “Not that it matters to me, but he seems to be having a pretty good time with Charlotte lately and YOU seem to know that exactly.”
I slowly raised my eyes and looked at her.
“Every time he’s within a hundred meters you immediately tense up or walk away. Or you suddenly try to build up a conversation, or pretend to be reading. Oh come on,-“ she smacked my head “I’m you best friend! You can’t hide things from me!”

I swallowed again.

“Tell me.” She demanded softly and I debated if I could tell her or not.
But if I couldn’t tell her.. Who else could I share my worries with?

“It all started at the party,” I started. “You were all over Blake and suddenly there was no trace left of you. Jace had been the new kid in class and since he sat next to me he had the need to talk to me. And after a few cups he also seemed kinda.. cute. I don’t know when, but later I felt somehow dizzy and he told me to sit down, so he could get me something to drink. He seemed to know I felt dizzy because the whole time he just wouldn’t give me any alcohol, no matter how hard I tried. I don’t know anymore. There had been some strange guy, and he gave me a cup of something.. The next thing I knew, I was in Jace’ bed and it was already morning..” I took a deep breath.
“Did he take advantage of you?!”
Her face was filled with disgust.

“No.. No. He rescued me, so that the other guy wouldn’t.. take advantage of me. He even almost beat him up because he was so filled with rage.”
I had to smile lightly. “Aww, that’s sweet!” Kesh’ whispered, with a big smile on her face. I nodded.
“And why do you avoid him now?”
“There’s more.” I took a breath.
“Well the next morning we had a fight. Or rather, he was so sweet. I had so much fun with him, the way he took care of me. He even introduced me to his family. And suddenly,” Kesh came closer, as she always did when she found something exciting.
“His fiancé stood there.” - “No.” Kesha took a deep breath. “Yes, it’s the truth. So the next day I was just angry at myself because I was such a stupid, little idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot!”
“Kesh, there’s even more.”

She nodded and I went on.
“Of course I avoided him. Even though he told me that this girl had been lying and that it wasn’t true I decided not to get close to him anymore. That day Nate drove me to school. He was so nice and told Jace off, he even acted as if he was my guard or something..” I had to smile.
“Was that when Jace came here with Blake?”
“Yeah, that’s been then. So I just didn’t know what to do, and I tried to push Jace away as far as possible, but he just wouldn’t leave my mind and I didn’t know what to do. So I kissed your brother.” I squeezed my eyes. “And actually I don’t even regret it..”

I expected that she would scream or beat me up or at least not talk to me again, but instead of punishing me, she just laughed.
“So you kissed my brother.” She giggled. “Oh come on, I mean, I can’t judge, but wasn’t Nate – Let me quote you from maybe 2 years ago- ‘the most sexy and best looking guy on earth’?”
I sighed. “You can’t tell me it was that unpleasant, the way you two snuck into his room afterwards.”
I felt my cheeks redden.
“Also, it had to happen. Come on, you two have always been aware of each other since.. ever. There’s no denying.”
She laughed.
“I knew, since it was you, there was no way it could have been something that horrible! I mean, it’s you after all! You should talk to Nate and just forget that Jace guy!”

And with that, there was no way of confessing the truth now.
♠ ♠ ♠
Here we go again.