I Wanna Say We're Getting Closer Every Day

As I got home I wanted to turn around directly when I entered the front door.
“If you rather fuck your fuckin’ secretary, then why is your damn fuckin’ ass still in my god damned house?!”
Of course my parents were fighting. They always did. I got used to it, but still it hurt like hell. Again a reason why I hated this town.
Everything, and with everything I mean everything, had changed since we had moved here.
“I’m home,” I whispered barely audible and went upstairs, as everyday.
My room was on the second floor. I had my own bathroom and my own walk-in closet, but what did something so … material mean when I still hadn’t got anything other.
“GET THE FUCKIN’ HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE!” I heard my mom scream, and it tore my heart apart.

You know when your parents suddenly get all bitchy and only hate each other?
If not maybe you know it because a friend told you?
It just feels like… your alone. Like the only fucking reason your family can still be called a family because of you, on a bad way.
Like you were an hindrance, like they’d have a better life without you.

I started my Computer and turned on the stereo. As loud as I could.
Well, my life is… I wouldn’t chose this life if I could decide, but I am happy to have a life. I’m happy to have friends. To have a home to stay. I’m happy to be healthy.
It’s just the small things which make me feel sad and uncomfortable.

‘Miserable’ from Lit blasted threw the speakers of my stereo.
It was loud, but it helped, somehow.
I started my ICQ [It’s like a Chatroom, if you don’t know.] and looked threw my mails as a pop-in-window opened.

[Agumon-Fan] - Not in your contact list - has just send you a mail.
I opened it and read.

Hey, what’s up?

Nothing, you? Do I know you?

Nothin’ really. I’m bored… SO bored.

Who are you?

What are you doing right now?

I’m asking myself who the fuck the person on the opposite of this Chatroom is?

Good Question.

Well, I’ve got things to do. Bye.

Wait! I’m gonna tell you.

So, I’m waiting.

You know I just found your account and saw your picture and … I really wanted to get to know you.

Is this kind of a joke?

Nope. I’m deadly serious.

Sad.

Sad?

Your some ‘I-don’t-get-a-girl-in-real-life-so-I’m-gonna-search-for-one-on-the-internet’-guy.

Sorry, but no. Actually I just wanted to get to know a girl, which would [maybe] like me because of my personality and not because of my looks. …

Oh. So you’re shallow? cause you picked me because I was ‘good-looking’.

I never said you were good-looking. Just said I saw your picture. : )

Your point. What’s your name?

I stood up to get some water out of my schoolbag and pulled out my homework.
Then I looked onto the screen again.

Jake, yours?

Mella.

Short for something?

Melissa. I hate it.

Whaaa? I luv it. My cousin’s daughter is called Melissa!

How old is she?

One year and 5 days.

Sweet.

More than that.

I’ve got homework to do now, Bye.

See ya.

Bye.

Argumon-Fan, huh?
So he liked… Pokemon was with Pikachu, so it was Digimon.
Ma~n. Truly how old is he?, I asked myself and changed the music.

‘Ho-ho-hopefully’ by the Maine.
It was a christmas-song, but who cared?!

As I finished my homework I looked onto my blackberry.
‘One Voice Mail’ It said. Strange, I didn’t even hear it ring.
Well, of course the music is on.

I turned the stereo down and listened to it.
“Mella! Hurry! Right now! Call! BACK! Tonight’s THE party. And we HAVE to attend. Like we fuckin’ have TO!”
I laughed. Kesha was … I could always laugh with her. Even the voicemail made me smile like hell.
She was the typical party-girl which pulled her friends to every party in this whole fuckin’ town.
Sorry, I’m not big with manners. I often use ‘bad-words’ and curses, so if you don’t want to get affected with, just stop reading.

I dialled her number and waited for her to pick up. After the first ring she answered.
Typical.
“Mella! Woah! You know… It’s like! WOAH! And we got invited. As VIP’s, well that’s nothing special, but WOAH!”
Even thought she was just shouting a mess of words I knew what she wanted to express with it. We were like, … We knew everything about the other one.
“When is it?” I asked, hoping it’d start not too late or else I’d have to climb out of the window for tonight.

“Don’t worry. You can stay at my house. I already asked mom and everything, and you know she was like ‘Why-Do-You-Even-Ask?!’”
I giggled a bit. It was true Kesha’s mom was like my own. Even more like my mother than my real one was.
“Okay. When should I come over?” I wasn’t in party-mood, but I wanted to get out as soon as possible.
“Like now?” – “Okay. There in 20. Bye”
In not even a half minute I had my things packed and my stuff over my shoulder. I pulled my black converse on and threw some other cloths into a bag, then I headed down and straight out of the house.

“Melissa, honey. Wait please.” My mom called me, soft as ever.
I stopped and turned.
“Where are you going?” she looked as if she had cried. Of course I wanted to hug her, I loved her, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to go away tonight if I did.
Also she’s adult, she should be able to handle thing by herself.
I’m seventeen and I have to take care of myself, so she, with 43, should be able, too.
“I’m gonna stay at Kesha’s.” I smiled and she nodded.
“Be careful.” She faked a smile with all she could.
I really wanted to comfort her, but I hadn’t got time. I needed to get out before the rooftop would break down onto me.
“I’m off. Bye.” I waved and got into my car, throwing my things onto the backseat.
I felt like dying, leaving my mother behind like this.
In moments like this I really, really wanted to be someone else.