I Wanna Say We're Getting Closer Every Day

I, in my whole life, I had never cried so hard in front of someone.

I, in my whole life, had never ever felt so vulnerable and weak.

And I, in my whole damn fucking life, had never felt so safe before.

My old life, my new life, my feelings, everything seemed to calm down.

The confusion seemed to disappear. It’s felt good to finally cry everything out.

He didn’t judge me, nor did he ask anything.

He just stood there, hugging me and rubbing my back until I was satisfied. And afterwards he smiled.

__

“Here are some cloths, my sister has the same size.” He smiled and gave me a bunch of cloths. I smiled and took them thankfully. And slowly, but as fast as I was able, I walked into his bathroom as closed the door behind me.

With a small headache I stood in front of the mirror. I really looked hilarious!

My Make up was all over my face and my hair was a mess. My eyes were red and my cheeks too. I had never seen myself this… concerned.

Normally I did look alright, at least on the outside.

But the strangest was: I didn’t even care.

I washed my face and brushed my hair and looked outside.

Jace was laying on his bed, reading something while listening to music.

“Is it okay If I take a shower?” I whispered, looking to the door which was connected with the hall.

“Sure. You don’t have to be quiet. They’re all awake…”

“That’s why I’m whispering, dum dum!”

He laughed and I went back to the bathroom.

20 Minutes later I was clean again. I was standing in the bathroom, staring at the clothes he gave me.

Versace blue-jeans;

Black Chanel-Halter-Top ;

White Prada vest;

And Black Jimmy Choos.

Even Passionata Underwear.

I was in heaven. Those cloths were worth more than half of our house.

How could he just lend them to me, without even blinking?

I mascara-ed my eyelashes and walked out of the room, wearing all the cloths he gave to me, and somehow they fit, but it felt strange.

It felt like I had to be extra careful not to rip one. It would cost over a month’s rent to pay one of those clothing’s.

Mom would kill me. If she wouldn’t Dad would.

“About the cloths…” I hesitated. It sounded even more arrogant than I intended it to.

He looked up, his eyes wandering up and down.

“They suit you. Good, she said you could have them if you want. She only wears a piece of cloths once. Afterwards her cloths stay in her wardrobes, till she has no more space left. Well, it’s more like wardrooms than wardrobes.” He laughed.

I laughed along, but I’m sure we had different reasons.

If I sold the Cloths on Ebay I’m sure I’d still get so much money for them.

“How come I never see you wearing cloths like that?” I asked as casually as I was able to.

“How come? Well, It may not have recognized it, but: I’m male!”

His voice was playful, his expression fake-shocked.

I just rolled my eyes.

He had changes his cloths, too. They looked different. More formal.

His dark blue, ripped trousers matched the white button-up shirt he wore.

He looked like some kind of model. But he looked so badass at the same time.

His hair was now dry, but still messy. And it looked so hot.

“Are you finished?” he asked, sitting up.

I nodded. “You look fabulous.” He took my hand and my handbag and we went to the door. “Just play along, okay?” he whispered when he opened the door.

We stepped out and went downstairs, slowly.

“Why?” I whispered, fearing the part that would come.

There was always something when someone said ‘Play along’.

“Just do.” he answered, still barely audible.

And that was when a really beautiful lady appeared on the end of the stairway.

“Good morning you two.” She laughed. I had never seen such a beautiful women in real life.

“Good morning to you, too, dear mother.” Jace answered.

“I am Rebecca Matthew, and you must be Melissa!” she said joyfully and held her hand towards me.

“Yes, that is me. Thank you.” I felt like shortcut’s like ‘that’s’ weren’t needed here.

She laughed.

“MOM! Where the f@%k is my credit card?!” I heard a voice behind me.

“It is in your pocket, dear. I wish you to not speak like that! It sounds so informal!” she answered.

And then girl appeared from the room next to the stairway. A really beautiful girl. She’s was even more beautiful than Mrs. Matthew.

“Jace, honey, I’m so happy to see you again. Finally! It’s been… I don’t know, but you haven’t even answered one of my messages!” she said, kissing Jace on the cheeks. “So I decided to come over to you today. You had so little time for me the last days. I mean, you’re my fian- ”

“Georgina, could you please stop?” he looked towards me.

And with that something in my chest began to hurt. Like someone just stabbed a knife through me.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to die. But something in me told myself that it wasn’t even worth to think about him that way.

We weren’t related. He had no feelings for me, and I luckily hadn’t got any feelings for him. I just wanted to get away.

Jace took a deep breath.

“I’m busy right now.” He said to Georgina, while looking towards me.

With that he laid his hands around my waist.

She shot me a glare, one of those death-glares you can see in movies.

I turned.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Matthew. Thank you so much for letting me stay here.” I said in a lovely, really honest voice.

“You, too, Georgina. It was nice to meet you.” She nodded, but everyone could see she didn’t want to.

“Jace, I’ll see you in school.” I said, taking my handbag out of his hand, rushing to the front door.

“Mella! Mella, wait. It’s not what it seems like! It’s not like that! I swear!”

I heard as I stepped out of the house.

Jace was already at the door, one meter away from me.

“It doesn’t matter, Jace. We don’t have a relationship, you don't need to explain that to me.” I smiled my sweetest smile and turned.

“Thanks for everything.” And with that I walked away.

I can not ever get anyone that close to me. Not even my parents.