Status: Not writing until people read it.
This Is Usually The Part Where People Scream
What The *** Is This?
I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was the blinding sun. Fuck. I thought, and clutched my head as the pain arrived.
I had gone to a party last night with Shelly.
Some college kids were hosting it and she got invitations somehow. It was fun at first with the booze, the pool and the cute blokes, but as soon as some boggled tramp decided she wanted a swim, everything got out of hand, fast.
Of course, the dumb slapper didn't even know what she was doing or probably where she was but she walked right into the pool.
And nearly drowned.
However, she didn't. With brave thanks to yours truly.
Yeh, me being the propa impulsive, compassionate dumbfuck I am decided to dive in for her while I was piss drunk off my arse. Thank God I'd had years of training behind me or I wouldn't have gotten that slapper's fat arse out of the water.
I found out later her name was Mindy and she wasn't a slapper. Just a really, really stupid, stoned, blondie. Who apparently didn't even come here to shag any of the blokes hangin round waiting for a bonk. Just to get high.
I thought everything was going ace of course. I had just saved some bint from drowning, Shelli hadn't left, there was still plenty of booze,
and the cute blokes were starting to notice me.
But there was one bloke I noticed in particular.
P'raps I should introduce myself first, though.
Me name is Lana Renard, and I'm half Vampire.
Right, sorted? Let's get on with the story then.
Of course, bloody Hayden had to show up. I honestly think he's been stalking me.
"So what's this?" he said with his light German accent that always made me giggle. So guess what I did? Yeh, I giggled.
"Some boggled slapper decided she wanted a swim so I fished 'er out before she drowned 'erself." I replied in my own little accent that made his lip twitch up in a slight smile.
"Anybody is expecting her?"
I rolled my eyes at him, now he was just playing the German card a little over.
"Quit ye yappin, ye sound like Yoda. Mind helpin me with this weight?"
I staggered over to him and he caught me before I made a face plant.
"You've had too many drinks my dear." He said in that knowing 'older and wiser' voice that oh-so made me want to punch him in that pretty face.
"No" I countered, "She's just a fat one."
He was choking with laughter at that.
"Mmmm, you never answered my earlier question."
Typical Hayden. He always did that when he had no comeback.
"Nah don't think so," I said, eying him suspiciously "Why?"
He chuckled in that way that made me feel outright barmy and gave me a look that said "guess"
"C'mon ye slick git! Out with it before I kick ye where it hurts!" I shouted, then laughed.
Hayden's eyes bulged a bit and then he frowned at me. I guess that was a bit extreme, but hell I was drunk and just saved a life, least he could do is answer my damned question!
He gave me a look that questioned my intelligence an sanity at the same time.
I crossed my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him and earned a laugh.
"Fine," he said "I was wondering if I could, uh, lighten your load?"
I pondered that, confused.
He rolled his eyes and grabbed the passed-out bint from off my shoulders. He pulled her hair aside, exposing her neck and hummed a bit while lowering his head to her exposed skin.
I snapped out of my pondering daze and ran up to him,
"Oh-- NO YOU FUCKING DON'T" I shouted. Too late.
I only managed to catch a glimpse of a mocking smile as he slid his fangs into the poor girl's neck.
I felt dizzy all of a sudden, like I would be sick all over the floor. Or collapse and die. Or both.
And I did. Well, I didn't die, because technically, I can't. Well, it would be very hard to kill me.
See, I've got this special kind of invisible force field made up of magic and energy that surrounds me whenever someone attacks me. It's honestly superfluous though, because I've had ten years of hardcore defensive and offensive training. With silver stakes and all. Because, obviously, there are bad Vampires out there too.
Anyways, we probably would have been fine if nobody had been around us to see Hayden eat dinner, but just as he finished up and tossed the girl's passed out body on the floor, (what? ye think he was gonna kill her?) some scared little prep decided to scream and made a fuckin' shambles of everything.
So of course people run out, see her and call the ambulance. Hayden, thank God, decided to help me out and pulled me behind one of the shrubs lining the pool. I glared at him icily as we sat crouched behind the shrub. He gave me a look that said "what did I do?"
I looked at him incredulously. "You know exactly what you gormless plonker!" I whisper-shouted.
He rolled his eyes at me, grinned, and raised his hands in defense. "Hey, you said she weighed too much and I was hungry. Two birds stoned at once."
I stifled a laugh and punched his arm lightly. "It's 'two birds, one stone' ye muppet."
His face fell and he raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
I nodded furiously like a 6-year-old and giggled at him, "Yeh, why? Ye been talkin about boggled birds the whole time?" I scrunched my eyebrows, "Wait, that didn't make much sense did it?"
Hayden laughed and I smacked him, telling him to shush, but then I started laughing.
"You are so drunk, Lana." Hayden uttered between fits of laughter.
Then we heard footsteps. Coming towards us.
"Uh-oh..." I whispered.
"What, what's wrong?" Hayden looked around and frowned at me, confused.
"Shhhhh, listen"
He did. And all the emotions wiped off his face.He leaned his head against the wall behind us and sighed in defeat. "We're fucked." he said out loud, I smacked him.
"Yeh, ye are" Said a familiar voice. A smile spread across my face and I jumped out of my hiding spot onto a half-naked and very pissed-looking Shelly.
"What happened te YOU?" I asked between giggles
Shelly narrowed her eyes at me and her lips curled into a snarl. "Well obviously I was having a nice time, until I heard some bloody little slapper shoutin 'bout some Vampire so I decided to find ye before ye got a life's prison sentence!" She was panting and grinding her teeth, I held my hands up in defense and stepped behind Hayden, who towered over me.
"Hey, s'not me fault! Blame him!" I shoved Hayden and he stumbled a bit, then spun around and hissed at me in that way he does, exposing his fangs. I took a few steps back and gave him a meaningful look. He growled at me.
Shelly let out an irritated sigh and folded her arms, but the fact that she was wearing only a bra and some orange skinny jeans took away from her serious stance.
"Right the both of ye, quit chucking each other into the fire and lets get outa here before the cops put us all in cuffs." We all nodded in agreement and walked towards our car.
We had an electric blue C7 Corvette, courtesy of my ex: Kassandr. It only had two seats, so one of us wouldn't be able to ride in it.
[img] http://www.2010-corvette.net/images/c7_corvette.jpg [/img] <Car. Just imagine it electric blue.
"So who's walking?" Hayden asked, breaking into a light jog to match Shelly's brisk, angry pace. She halted suddenly, causing Hayden to skid to a stop. Shelly and I both looked at each other and nodded.
"You." we said in unison. Hayden rolled his eyes and snapped Shelly's bra.
Shelly, of course, grabbed his arm and twisted his wrist.
Hayden just stood there. Smirking.
"When will you learn, little girl." Shelly cocked her head and let go of his hand, and Hayden grabbed her by the waist, pulling her over his shoulder and running to the car. I ran after him and the thrashing Shelly.
Once we arrived at the car, Hayden grabbed the keys out of Shelly's back pocket, blocked us a little, hopped in the car and, well, drove off.
Shelly stood there next to me with a sour look on her face.
"He snapped me bra!" she exclaimed after a few minutes of silence. I nodded, thinking of how we'd get home. There was no way I was walking three kilometres, drunk, with a pissed off half-naked model.
No way in hell.
"At least he'll look like a right nancy driving that thing aroud, we'll get a kick outa that." she continued, her mood lightening. I nodded again, deep in thought.
"Hey Shelly?" she turned to me, "Do you have yer mobile?"
"Course, when do I not?"
I thought about that, "Well, ye could 'ave dropped it when you were, erm, busy" I said sheepishly. She laughed.
"Well as you can see, love, he only got me top off." She said, pointing to herself. I nodded. "Why honey? Do ye need it?" I nodded again.
"I was thinking of giving Jasper or Abbz a ring so they could pick us up."
Shelly laughed and patted my shoulder, "That's the best idea you've had all night!"
I smiled at her.
I love that girl. She knew almost everything about me (yes, including the Vampire stuff) and understood me perfectly. We got along like two peas in a pod.
"Here" she chucked me her phone, "Jason's on speed dial number three." I nodded, and it took me a little while to realize I was smiling. I punched in the three key and let it ring. Surely enough, Jason picked up after the second ring.
"Yes my dear?" he called into the phone
"Hey! It's Lana, I was wonderin when ye ended your shift."
Pause.
"Hmm, in a few minutes, why?"
"Well, there've been some happenin's at the party me an Shelly were at, an' Hayden drove off with our car, so we need ye to pick us up." I explained, hoping he didn't have to meet anyone.
"You neeeeeeeeed me huh? ...Well, I suppose I could make some time"
I rolled my eyes "Cheers mate, we're at that huge house by the river and the skate park about three kilometres from our place."
Jason paused. "Right, I see where that is. I'll be there in round twenty minutes."
I heaved a sigh of relief "Sorted."
I hung up and tossed the phone back to Shelly, who barely caught it.
"He comin?" she asked. I nodded.
"Twenty minutes."
Her jaw dropped, "That's in AGES!!" she exclaimed.
I shook my head. "Honey you've gotta learn to be more patient."
I pulled out my Cloves and took one out, then took out my lighter and lit up. I inhaled a long drag and exhaled. Shelly motioned me for the fags and I chucked the pack to her.
Some dodgy bloke walked past us drunkenly and winked at me, I gave him the two finger salute and he walked off laughing creepily. Dodgy mong.
Shelly and I talked about nothing in particular for a while, and I found out the bloke she was getting it on with was called Damien, but nowt else.
We finally heard the sound of tires crunching on gravel and I looked up to see Jasper's Mercedes Benz coming our way. It wasn't as pretty as our car, but it was decent, it drove right amazingly.
I put out my fag on the already-littered ground and Shelly followed suit. We strolled over to Jasper's car and got in the back.
"Took ye long enough" complained Shelly "But wait, I forgot, ye 'ave a shite car." she laughed, I shook my head, Jasper rolled his eyes.
"At least mine wasn't stolen by a psychopathic Vampire." he countered. She grumbled words that sounded a lot like cursing and flipped him off. He chuckled and revved the engine and took the car out of Park.
The drive was smooth and the humming of the engine had lulled me into a brief sleep. When I woke up however, I recognized where we were, but it was certainly not me and
Shelly's place.
"Ello there sleepyhead." Jasper greeted me as I yawned and stretched.
"Mmmph" I grunted and scratched my head. "Why are we at your place?"
He chuckled a bit, "Shelly wanted to say hey to Abbey."
I looked at him skeptically
"And I might have told her we're having some of my mates over for booze and some poker."
"Jasperrrrrrrr" I moaned putting my head in my hands, "Ye might as well have given a hobo a happy meal!!!"
Jasper laughed at that and we went inside. If you guessed that I was gonna get shitfaced and wake up the next morning in a extra large shirt, my undies and some borrowed Vans. You guessed right.
My name is Lana Renard, I'm hungover as shite, and can't remember a sweet fuck all what happened last night.
So this is where I am. Laying on my back in Jasper's front yard, shielding my eyes from the sun and suffering from a crippling hangover.
I think this is going to be a good day.
I had gone to a party last night with Shelly.
Some college kids were hosting it and she got invitations somehow. It was fun at first with the booze, the pool and the cute blokes, but as soon as some boggled tramp decided she wanted a swim, everything got out of hand, fast.
Of course, the dumb slapper didn't even know what she was doing or probably where she was but she walked right into the pool.
And nearly drowned.
However, she didn't. With brave thanks to yours truly.
Yeh, me being the propa impulsive, compassionate dumbfuck I am decided to dive in for her while I was piss drunk off my arse. Thank God I'd had years of training behind me or I wouldn't have gotten that slapper's fat arse out of the water.
I found out later her name was Mindy and she wasn't a slapper. Just a really, really stupid, stoned, blondie. Who apparently didn't even come here to shag any of the blokes hangin round waiting for a bonk. Just to get high.
I thought everything was going ace of course. I had just saved some bint from drowning, Shelli hadn't left, there was still plenty of booze,
and the cute blokes were starting to notice me.
But there was one bloke I noticed in particular.
P'raps I should introduce myself first, though.
Me name is Lana Renard, and I'm half Vampire.
Right, sorted? Let's get on with the story then.
Of course, bloody Hayden had to show up. I honestly think he's been stalking me.
"So what's this?" he said with his light German accent that always made me giggle. So guess what I did? Yeh, I giggled.
"Some boggled slapper decided she wanted a swim so I fished 'er out before she drowned 'erself." I replied in my own little accent that made his lip twitch up in a slight smile.
"Anybody is expecting her?"
I rolled my eyes at him, now he was just playing the German card a little over.
"Quit ye yappin, ye sound like Yoda. Mind helpin me with this weight?"
I staggered over to him and he caught me before I made a face plant.
"You've had too many drinks my dear." He said in that knowing 'older and wiser' voice that oh-so made me want to punch him in that pretty face.
"No" I countered, "She's just a fat one."
He was choking with laughter at that.
"Mmmm, you never answered my earlier question."
Typical Hayden. He always did that when he had no comeback.
"Nah don't think so," I said, eying him suspiciously "Why?"
He chuckled in that way that made me feel outright barmy and gave me a look that said "guess"
"C'mon ye slick git! Out with it before I kick ye where it hurts!" I shouted, then laughed.
Hayden's eyes bulged a bit and then he frowned at me. I guess that was a bit extreme, but hell I was drunk and just saved a life, least he could do is answer my damned question!
He gave me a look that questioned my intelligence an sanity at the same time.
I crossed my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him and earned a laugh.
"Fine," he said "I was wondering if I could, uh, lighten your load?"
I pondered that, confused.
He rolled his eyes and grabbed the passed-out bint from off my shoulders. He pulled her hair aside, exposing her neck and hummed a bit while lowering his head to her exposed skin.
I snapped out of my pondering daze and ran up to him,
"Oh-- NO YOU FUCKING DON'T" I shouted. Too late.
I only managed to catch a glimpse of a mocking smile as he slid his fangs into the poor girl's neck.
I felt dizzy all of a sudden, like I would be sick all over the floor. Or collapse and die. Or both.
And I did. Well, I didn't die, because technically, I can't. Well, it would be very hard to kill me.
See, I've got this special kind of invisible force field made up of magic and energy that surrounds me whenever someone attacks me. It's honestly superfluous though, because I've had ten years of hardcore defensive and offensive training. With silver stakes and all. Because, obviously, there are bad Vampires out there too.
Anyways, we probably would have been fine if nobody had been around us to see Hayden eat dinner, but just as he finished up and tossed the girl's passed out body on the floor, (what? ye think he was gonna kill her?) some scared little prep decided to scream and made a fuckin' shambles of everything.
So of course people run out, see her and call the ambulance. Hayden, thank God, decided to help me out and pulled me behind one of the shrubs lining the pool. I glared at him icily as we sat crouched behind the shrub. He gave me a look that said "what did I do?"
I looked at him incredulously. "You know exactly what you gormless plonker!" I whisper-shouted.
He rolled his eyes at me, grinned, and raised his hands in defense. "Hey, you said she weighed too much and I was hungry. Two birds stoned at once."
I stifled a laugh and punched his arm lightly. "It's 'two birds, one stone' ye muppet."
His face fell and he raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
I nodded furiously like a 6-year-old and giggled at him, "Yeh, why? Ye been talkin about boggled birds the whole time?" I scrunched my eyebrows, "Wait, that didn't make much sense did it?"
Hayden laughed and I smacked him, telling him to shush, but then I started laughing.
"You are so drunk, Lana." Hayden uttered between fits of laughter.
Then we heard footsteps. Coming towards us.
"Uh-oh..." I whispered.
"What, what's wrong?" Hayden looked around and frowned at me, confused.
"Shhhhh, listen"
He did. And all the emotions wiped off his face.He leaned his head against the wall behind us and sighed in defeat. "We're fucked." he said out loud, I smacked him.
"Yeh, ye are" Said a familiar voice. A smile spread across my face and I jumped out of my hiding spot onto a half-naked and very pissed-looking Shelly.
"What happened te YOU?" I asked between giggles
Shelly narrowed her eyes at me and her lips curled into a snarl. "Well obviously I was having a nice time, until I heard some bloody little slapper shoutin 'bout some Vampire so I decided to find ye before ye got a life's prison sentence!" She was panting and grinding her teeth, I held my hands up in defense and stepped behind Hayden, who towered over me.
"Hey, s'not me fault! Blame him!" I shoved Hayden and he stumbled a bit, then spun around and hissed at me in that way he does, exposing his fangs. I took a few steps back and gave him a meaningful look. He growled at me.
Shelly let out an irritated sigh and folded her arms, but the fact that she was wearing only a bra and some orange skinny jeans took away from her serious stance.
"Right the both of ye, quit chucking each other into the fire and lets get outa here before the cops put us all in cuffs." We all nodded in agreement and walked towards our car.
We had an electric blue C7 Corvette, courtesy of my ex: Kassandr. It only had two seats, so one of us wouldn't be able to ride in it.
[img] http://www.2010-corvette.net/images/c7_corvette.jpg [/img] <Car. Just imagine it electric blue.
"So who's walking?" Hayden asked, breaking into a light jog to match Shelly's brisk, angry pace. She halted suddenly, causing Hayden to skid to a stop. Shelly and I both looked at each other and nodded.
"You." we said in unison. Hayden rolled his eyes and snapped Shelly's bra.
Shelly, of course, grabbed his arm and twisted his wrist.
Hayden just stood there. Smirking.
"When will you learn, little girl." Shelly cocked her head and let go of his hand, and Hayden grabbed her by the waist, pulling her over his shoulder and running to the car. I ran after him and the thrashing Shelly.
Once we arrived at the car, Hayden grabbed the keys out of Shelly's back pocket, blocked us a little, hopped in the car and, well, drove off.
Shelly stood there next to me with a sour look on her face.
"He snapped me bra!" she exclaimed after a few minutes of silence. I nodded, thinking of how we'd get home. There was no way I was walking three kilometres, drunk, with a pissed off half-naked model.
No way in hell.
"At least he'll look like a right nancy driving that thing aroud, we'll get a kick outa that." she continued, her mood lightening. I nodded again, deep in thought.
"Hey Shelly?" she turned to me, "Do you have yer mobile?"
"Course, when do I not?"
I thought about that, "Well, ye could 'ave dropped it when you were, erm, busy" I said sheepishly. She laughed.
"Well as you can see, love, he only got me top off." She said, pointing to herself. I nodded. "Why honey? Do ye need it?" I nodded again.
"I was thinking of giving Jasper or Abbz a ring so they could pick us up."
Shelly laughed and patted my shoulder, "That's the best idea you've had all night!"
I smiled at her.
I love that girl. She knew almost everything about me (yes, including the Vampire stuff) and understood me perfectly. We got along like two peas in a pod.
"Here" she chucked me her phone, "Jason's on speed dial number three." I nodded, and it took me a little while to realize I was smiling. I punched in the three key and let it ring. Surely enough, Jason picked up after the second ring.
"Yes my dear?" he called into the phone
"Hey! It's Lana, I was wonderin when ye ended your shift."
Pause.
"Hmm, in a few minutes, why?"
"Well, there've been some happenin's at the party me an Shelly were at, an' Hayden drove off with our car, so we need ye to pick us up." I explained, hoping he didn't have to meet anyone.
"You neeeeeeeeed me huh? ...Well, I suppose I could make some time"
I rolled my eyes "Cheers mate, we're at that huge house by the river and the skate park about three kilometres from our place."
Jason paused. "Right, I see where that is. I'll be there in round twenty minutes."
I heaved a sigh of relief "Sorted."
I hung up and tossed the phone back to Shelly, who barely caught it.
"He comin?" she asked. I nodded.
"Twenty minutes."
Her jaw dropped, "That's in AGES!!" she exclaimed.
I shook my head. "Honey you've gotta learn to be more patient."
I pulled out my Cloves and took one out, then took out my lighter and lit up. I inhaled a long drag and exhaled. Shelly motioned me for the fags and I chucked the pack to her.
Some dodgy bloke walked past us drunkenly and winked at me, I gave him the two finger salute and he walked off laughing creepily. Dodgy mong.
Shelly and I talked about nothing in particular for a while, and I found out the bloke she was getting it on with was called Damien, but nowt else.
We finally heard the sound of tires crunching on gravel and I looked up to see Jasper's Mercedes Benz coming our way. It wasn't as pretty as our car, but it was decent, it drove right amazingly.
I put out my fag on the already-littered ground and Shelly followed suit. We strolled over to Jasper's car and got in the back.
"Took ye long enough" complained Shelly "But wait, I forgot, ye 'ave a shite car." she laughed, I shook my head, Jasper rolled his eyes.
"At least mine wasn't stolen by a psychopathic Vampire." he countered. She grumbled words that sounded a lot like cursing and flipped him off. He chuckled and revved the engine and took the car out of Park.
The drive was smooth and the humming of the engine had lulled me into a brief sleep. When I woke up however, I recognized where we were, but it was certainly not me and
Shelly's place.
"Ello there sleepyhead." Jasper greeted me as I yawned and stretched.
"Mmmph" I grunted and scratched my head. "Why are we at your place?"
He chuckled a bit, "Shelly wanted to say hey to Abbey."
I looked at him skeptically
"And I might have told her we're having some of my mates over for booze and some poker."
"Jasperrrrrrrr" I moaned putting my head in my hands, "Ye might as well have given a hobo a happy meal!!!"
Jasper laughed at that and we went inside. If you guessed that I was gonna get shitfaced and wake up the next morning in a extra large shirt, my undies and some borrowed Vans. You guessed right.
My name is Lana Renard, I'm hungover as shite, and can't remember a sweet fuck all what happened last night.
So this is where I am. Laying on my back in Jasper's front yard, shielding my eyes from the sun and suffering from a crippling hangover.
I think this is going to be a good day.
♠ ♠ ♠
First chapter. Yeh...don't hate. Pleeeez? :(Constructive criticism is much appreciated! :D