Breaking Their Hold

Sedation. To some, it was heaven. It made them blissfully unaware of their surroundings; helped them to escape from reality, if only for a little while. But to Melissa, sedation was hell. It took her away from the sanity to which she held so tightly on to. It took her away from the only good thoughts she possessed; those that were centered around her brother and Jimmy, and their friends. She tried to pull at the window, knowing that the ground was just a few feet underneath the glass. But she couldn’t pry it open; it was clamped shut, and she was too weak to get it open. Melissa burst into sobs, and fell onto the cold floor of the Cell, clutching at her head as she tried to get the sadness to go away.

It would only give them another reason to medicate what didn’t need medication. It would give them another excuse to torture her with needles and drugs. Another reason for her to wish for her death.

But deep inside, Melissa didn’t truly want to die. She was too afraid to take her own life, and valued Jimmy and her brother far too much to do something like that to them. She knew they loved her deeply; they both did, along with their friends. If she were to die, they would never forgive her. And that was something Melissa couldn’t handle. She didn’t want them to hate her, when they were all she had left. The Government could take her home. They could take her away from her parents. They could even separate her from those who loved her the most. But they couldn’t take her memories away, or her hope. As long as Melissa had those, she’d be fine.

The door opened, and she peeked up through her dark hair to see Nurse Phillips walking into the room, a grim look on her face.

“We asked you once, Ms. Baker. After so long here at Haverly, you should be aware of what the consequences are.” The nurse told her chastely, before yanking her up off of the floor by her thin, bony arm. “Are you eating your full ration at all three of your meal periods?”

Melissa bit back her response, and told a lie. “Yes, Nurse Phillips. I’m eating all three of my meals.” She told the nurse, who narrowed her eyes.

“Then you’re losing a lot of weight for another reason. We’re going to have to have the Doctor check you out, to ensure that something isn’t wrong with your metabolism.” Nurse Phillips said, pulling on the white latex gloves, preparing the needle with the medication, flicking the tip a few times to steady it.

“Hold your arm out for me, Melissa.” The nurse told her. Melissa shook her head vigorously, and shoved her way into the corner, clutching her arms tightly to her chest.

“I don’t need sedation, ma’am!” Melissa yelled at her, tears blinding her green eyes. “Just leave me alone!”

“Ms. Baker, must you put up a struggle every time? We’re trying to help you here at Haverly, don’t you understand that? I think it’s time we moved you into solitary confinement, until you can keep your emotions in check.”

“No!” Melissa screamed. “I don’t need to be alone! I don’t need any of this! Just go away!”

“Melissa Baker, settle yourself down.” The nurse told her sharply, pushing a small button on the walkie talkie on her hip. It was to summon Security. They knew Melissa well. She knew them better than she’d like, though she didn’t know their names.

The one that entered the room was one she’d come to loathe. He was tall, like Jimmy, but heavier. He had tan, smooth skin and dark brown eyes. Melissa didn’t know to be sure, but she assumed he was Mexican or Latino.

“Hold her arm out for me, palm facing upward.” Nurse Phillips told him. He only nodded, again, not saying a word as he took her arm from Melissa’s chest and held it upward.

Melissa screamed as loudly as she could as the needle entered her blue, over-used vein; it was beginning to collapse from the sheer amount needles the nurses and doctors at Haverly had pushed into her. It burned on its way going in, and Melissa could feel the sedative mixing with her blood, making her want to scratch at her arm incessantly until she could make it leave her skin. She wanted to cut her arm off, just to stop the pain of knowing that there was nothing she could do to stop it. And then…

And then, she felt nothing. First, her arm went limp, falling deadly to her side. Next, her body began to tingle, and the Security man picked her up in his arms, dragging her over to the uncomfortable bed she had slept in every night for five years.

“Now, Melissa. Maybe you can calm yourself down enough to get a good sleep tonight, okay?” The nurse told her as she walked towards the door. She turned and looked at the Security man before leaving. “Stay in here with her for a few hours. Make sure she doesn’t try to escape. She has been known to fake the effects of the sedatives before.”

The Security man only nodded, and Melissa stared blindly up at the ceiling before closing her eyes and letting the sedative take over her mind, sending her into a deep, dreamless nap. This time, she wasn’t faking. They’d given her something much stronger; much more potent than they’d ever used on her before. More than it scared her, it pissed Melissa off; she couldn’t fight it. Not like Jimmy did. Not like her brother did. She was weak. She was sedated.

-x-

When Melissa woke up, the Security man was gone. She was alone in the room. The automatic lights had shut off, leaving only the blinking red alarm clock in her room. The time was 2:24 AM. The next Patrol wouldn’t be for about thirty-five minutes. Melissa slammed her fist into the pillow, angered that she’d allowed the sedation to work. If she’d have fought harder, she may have been able to prevent it. She may have been able to make herself stronger.

“Hey,” A voice said from the window. “Hey, open up in there! It’s cold out here!”

“Great,” She mumbled to herself, pulling a pillow over her head. “Now I really am crazy. They’ve really done it. They’ve made me insane.”

“Hey! Don’t tell me you’re asleep in there? Open up, already! Shannon, open up!”

Melissa cracked an eye open when she heard the voice again. She was pretty sure she hadn’t just imagined it. She groaned, and got up off of the bed, before walking over to the window, spotting a boy who appeared to be about Jimmy’s age standing outside, shivering in his white sleeping clothes.

“Open up!” The boy called to her. “Do you know how cold it is out here?”

Melissa rolled her eyes, wondering who this was and how he’d managed to…Wait a second, Mel, she thought to herself. He’s out of his Cell…that means he knows how to sneak out. What are you waiting for? Open the window!

With this new thought in her mind, she tried to open the window, but found that she couldn’t. It was locked just as tightly as it had been before. The boy on the other side of the window laughed at her.

“What? Don’t tell me you’re too weak to open a window? Typical girl,” He laughed at her, before picking up a rock. Unsure of whether or not he would hear her through the glass, and not wanting to speak loudly in case she woke anyone up, she shook her head vigorously, not wanting him to break the window. That would most definitely alert the nurses that something was wrong in here.

“No,” She whispered. “Don’t!”

“What; yer afraid the nurses are going to hear?” The boy laughed. “You really don’t know much about this place, do you?”

Melissa glared at him, and stormed away from the window, back towards her bed. Who cared if he’d managed to get out of his cell? They’d just find him, and he’d get in a huge pile of trouble. Associating with him was only going to get her in trouble. And that was something that Melissa definitely didn’t need more of.

“Hey, okay, okay! I’m sorry! Please come back over here!” The boy called to her, tapping lightly on the window with his finger. “I’ll be nice; I promise!”

Melissa groaned, finding herself getting out of the bed and walking towards the window again. Why are you doing this, Melissa? she thought to herself. He’s bad news; it’s just going to get you in trouble.

“I just wanted to say goodbye,” He said. “I’ll see you tomorrow if you’re at breakfast, though! Bye! Oh, hey, what’s your name?”

Melissa thought for a minute, before shrugging. Did it really even matter how much trouble she could get into? They already hated her here anyway. Nothing would change that. “Melissa,” She whispered back. He nodded, giving her a thumbs up that he understood.

“Pierre,” He called back to her as he began walking away. “The name’s Pierre.”

As the boy, who’d revealed his name to her, ran back towards wherever he’d come from, Melissa was left to herself again, wondering what had just happened. She went back to her bed, and waited for the Patrol to come and make sure that everyone was asleep in the Cells of Haverly Hospital.

-x-

When dawn came the next morning, the harsh, surgical-bright lights of the room turned on, and a banging came on the door.

“Wake up, Ms. Baker!” Nurse Phillips called through the door, only once, before moving on to bang on someone else’s door to wake them up. Melissa was tempted to go back to bed, if for no reason other than to defy what the nurse’s orders had been. But she knew the punishment for it, and with her luck, they’d make it worse because she’d gotten into trouble the day before. She groaned and got out of the bed, before walking over to the small, simple dresser with two drawers. She pulled out one of the mandatory white dresses that she was to wear every day, and pulled it over the white camisole that she had to sleep in. She didn’t care if it was going against orders; what the nurses and doctors didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. She then pulled on a pair of simple white socks, and slipped the sandals that she’d been given on her first day on her feet. Next came brushing her teeth, in the small pedestal sink that was in the corner of the room, and brushing her hair. Once she’d finished both, knowing that the nurses would check her breath and hair for any rats’ nests, she opened the heavy metal door and walked into the hallway, where she blended into a crowd of at least a hundred other girls, dressed in the exact same clothing she was. The only difference was their hair color and eye color, and skin color. And in a place so white and bleakly depressing, color meant everything to them.

She found her way to the breakfast cafeteria—the only place where girls were allowed to genuinely mingle with boys without being watched by the hawk-like eyes of the nurses. Melissa sat down at the usual table she and the boys sat at, waiting for them to show up. The first to appear was her brother, Zack.

“Hey, sis. Woah, are you okay?” He asked, sitting down with his tray of grayish colored oatmeal and room-temperature milk.

“They did it again,” She whispered, her voice breaking even as she said it. “Zacky, I don’t know how much more I can take of this. It’s tearing me apart.”

“Hey, now, don’t cry.” He said, looking around to make sure the nurses weren’t looking. “We’ll get out of here. Just wait until James shows up; he’ll show you what he came up with.”

“You’re doing it too.” She told him. He tilted his head to his side, and she whispered, sadness in her eyes. “You’re not calling him Jimmy anymore.”

“Phillips is over there,” He said, pointing his fork towards the wall directly behind him. It was how he pointed out people without gathering attention on himself; he would be caught pointing if he used his fingers, and if he looked back, it would appear to be suspicious. Melissa smiled at her elder brother’s smartness.

“Where’s the others?”

“Matthew’s in Solitary Confinement for a few days; he punched a Security. Jonathan is still in the shower stalls, and Brian is on his way over here now.”

Just as he said it, the dark haired boy named Brian sat beside Melissa, smiling at him. “How goes it, Mel?”

“Shh,” Zack warned. “Phillips is back there.”

“Oh,” Brian said, lowering his voice to a whisper. “So, I saw you get taken to the Doc’s office yesterday. What was that all about?”

“They did it again,” She whispered, looking at her food. The oatmeal was already beginning to harden, and once again, she wouldn’t be eating anything. She’d pour it into Brian’s dish, and he’d gobble it up. He needed the food more than she did.

“What? Those fu—I mean, why?” Brian asked, sensing Phillips looking over at their table. “Eat that fast, before Hawkeyes comes over here.”

Melissa groaned, and looked at him. “You need it more than me, Br—“

“No, not this morning. You need to start eating, Melissa. You’re beginning to look almost anorexic, and they’re going to know something’s up. Then you’ll be taken away from us.” Brian pleaded. “Just eat it, please.”

Melissa sighed, knowing she couldn’t win the argument with him as she shoved a spoonful in her mouth. Just then, Jimmy walked over, and sat on the other side of Melissa.

“So, I’ve got a plan,” He whispered quietly, digging into his oatmeal right away. “And I have someone who knows how to make it come together Because these hawks always keep to close of an eye on us. So we need outside help. We’re going to get everyone out of here, not just us. We’re going to start something huge.”

“James, don’t get her hopes up.” Zack told his friend warningly. “You know what she gets like when she gets—“

“I’m serious, Zack,” Jimmy cut him off. “We’re writing up the plans even now. Within a few months, we’re going to be out of here and back in HB in no time.”

“And who’s helping us?” Brian asked dubiously. Jimmy smiled, and then looked at a boy with shaggy dark hair and dark eyes as he sat down at the table by Zacky and Brian.

“Allow me to introduce one of our new partners in crime, Pierre Bouvier.”