Innocent Beyond Belief

The car pulls to a stop in front of my small, one-story house. I blink the sleep out of my eyes and grab my jacket from the passenger seat. I pull the keys out of the car and open my door. Climbing out I lock the car behind me and trudge up to the door. I unlock it and walk in. Yawning I take off my jacket and toss it along with my car keys on the table next to the door. I walk towards the kitchen.

"Welcome home Xavier." My house droid says rolling past me. I nod and keep walking towards the kitchen. I stop in front of the refrigerator and pull out a beer. Popping the cap I head to the living room to check the score on the Mets-Angels game. Mets are up by four and my mind's wandering to the small girl with beautiful jet black-hair and icy blue eyes, instead of focusing on the mistakes the Angels are making that's keeping them out of the world series. She had the softest voice and it was tinged with sadness. Almost ruining her beautiful electric eyes and soft smile. I'm not real sure what her laugh sounds like but it has to be musical.

My phone starts ringing and I sigh getting up shaking the thoughts of the girl out of my mind. I pick up the receiver and answer "Hello."

"Xavier?" A males voice asks from the other line.

"Yea, whose this?" I ask frowning at yet another ball thrown by the Angels pitcher.

"Man, it Chris. Why aren't you at Charlie's? We're supposed to be watching the Angel's game tonight remember?" My best friend says through the receiver.

"Oh, shit man. I totally forgot." I say taking another drink of my beer.

"Well, just get here then. Carl's waiting." Chris says. I sigh hanging up. Carl, my supposed boyfriend, is so jealous most of the time. See in the U.S.a. it's pretty much illegal to be heterosexual. I'm not really gay I actually love looking at the few women who are left in the U.S.a. I also used to be quite active in the sex department, but in order to survive I've been trying to be gay. Let me just say it's pretty difficult, and that's one of the reasons I'm a guard at an all female prison. I can look at women all day and not get yelled at for it, I get paid.

I grab my jacket and head out to my car. I get in and give my destination: Charlie's.

The car pulls into the Small parking garage leading to Charlie's. I climb out dreading the kiss Carl is going to give me when he sees me. Sometimes I really hate how clingy he is, okay make that all the time.

&%*$#_

"Xavier Darling." Carl shouts rushing towards me. He wraps his arms around me and I try my hardest not to stiffen. I hug him back and feel his lips against my cheek. Nobody is looking at us, which I guess this kind of thing is normal. He pulls away slightly trailing his kiss to my mouth. I smile and try to suppress the urge to vomit as his tongue enters my mouth. It's hard not to gag when he's practically touching my tonsils. I hate this. Why can't I be allowed to be straight, why? He's still kissing me, with what he probably thinks is passion, I should probably kiss back but I don't like to. So I don't. He pulls away and wraps his arm around my waist squeezing my ass as he does.

I nod at Chris and see he brought his boyfriend also. I sit next to Chris and Carl takes his seat to the right of me. I smile and stop when I feel Carl rub my thigh. He's getting dangerously close to my dick and I tense up. "What's wrong darling?" Carl says looking at me concerned. "Nothing, just a hard day at work." I say trying to keep the hatred out of my voice.

"Oh, let me make it better for you." Carl says winking at me.

"Not now Carl, I want to watch the game." I say turning back to the t.v. and ordering a beer. Out of the corner of my eye I see Carl pout and I hope he doesn't insist on coming home with me like he has the past few nights. "Xavier, we need to talk." Carl says in a voice that's the least girly of all his fake voices.

"About?" I ask not turning my attention from the screen.

"Us." Carl says moving his hand from my thigh. I sigh "What about us?"

"We never have sex." Carl whines. "Goddammit Carl! I just want to watch the game, can't we talk about this shit later?" I say exploding. I don't know how many times I've told him I don't like disclosing what happens with us behind closed doors to people in public.

"I'm sorry, but sex is a normal part of a loving relationship and I don't feel like you love me because when I want it you turn away." He says. I feel my nostrils flare. Apologizing to Chris for not being able to stay I start to leave. "Don't go Xavier, we really need to talk." Carl says standing to go with me. He tosses a couple bill son the counter and rushes to the door also.

Not waiting for him I head to my car. "Xavier Wait!" He shouts. I don't listen and get into my car. Starting it I decide to leave it off autopilot. I need the distraction. Pulling out of the garage I pass Carl and decide I'm taking the long way home.