Watching Over You

I see her everywhere.
Its like she really is here.

Edward keeps smiling at me all the time.
Why?
Why is he smiling?

Rose is 6 months along.
I can't believe its been that long.
They've decided on a name.
Hayden.
Sort of like Haydee,
But not exactly.

Emmett has been guarding Rose protectively.
He's feeling very anxious
I have no idea why.

I'm still upset about losing Haydee.
She really knew me.
The real me.
Nobody else ever has.
Not even Alice.

She's been around lately too.
Only talks to Edward though.
Told him she didnt want to upset me.
I'm already upset.
Whats the point?

Esme has been watching me like a hawk.
I think they're all waiting for me to break.
I would be too.

Its still hard to believe what Haydee did for me,
for all of us.

I can still see her throwing herself infront of me,
risking her life for mine.
And then when she raised her sheild around us,
It was like she was feeling every ounce of pain our enemy felt.
Why would she do that?

When i held her in my arms as she died,
She felt happy.
I never understood why.
Was she happy she was dying?
Was she happy she was leaving me?

I sometimes stare at the sky and whisper her name,
hoping she'll come back to me.

Wishes never come true,
do they?