Dying in your Arms
Take my Hand
Nick’s POV
I was deep in thoughts when I got ready for school. Did this mean I was really gay!? I knew I didn’t like girls… But I thought I just hadn’t met “the one” yet. Turned out I was gay! How was I going to tell this to everyone? I thought that telling my parents could wait. But I should tell this Jesse once. I mean, he’s my best friend! He has the right to know this. And what about Tyson? I smiled when I thought of him. He is so cute! But I knew him for just 2 weeks. I didn’t even know if he’s gay too. I didn’t know a thing about him! I sighed, I needed to get to know him, and become friends. After that I could think about something more…
When I arrived at school Jesse, Jack and David were waiting for me.
‘Hey Wheelz! Did you sleep well? No nightmares because of the movie?’ David joked and patted me on my back. No, not because of the movie...
‘Oh hell no! I couldn’t sleep because I think there’s a monster under my bed!’ I said fake whining.
‘Aw, little Nicky! Should we sleep over tonight to protect you for the monster?’
‘NO! Jesse, please! You’re even scarier than the monster! Who knows what you would do to me when I’m sleeping…’ I shuddered. We all walked laughing into school to our first class, which was Math. Great. *sarcasm*
In class I couldn’t concentrate, what means, even less than normal. I was thinking about me being gay, and whether Tyson liked me or not, and how to tell everyone… You see? Enough to think about in class.
‘NICK!’ Jesse, who sat next to me, whisper shouted.
‘What?’
‘I was talking to you! But you didn’t answer. Where was you thinking about?’
‘Oh, nothing. Daydreaming about the band.’ That wasn’t a too big lie, I mean: Tyson IS in our band.
‘Yeah sure, but what I was asking you: do you mind having a band rehearsal today?’
‘No, of course not. Are we having any performances soon?’
‘Yeah, in ab-‘
‘Wheeler and Tabish! Stop talking!’ stupid teacher. The rest of the lesson passed while I was thinking about Tyson again.
When the bell rang for lunch break I jumped up and went searching for Tyson to tell him about the band rehearsal. I knew I could text him, but I wanted to see him anyway.
‘Tyson!’ I called when I saw him.
‘What? Oh, hi Nick!’
‘We’re having another band rehearsal today. Is that okay with you?’
‘Yeah, sure! your place again?’
‘Yes, can you come at 4?’
‘Sure! See u!’ after saying that, Tyson left with a couple of his friends. I signed, there was no way Tyson liked me. Not in the same way as I liked Tyson. He walked back to his friends, who were sitting under a tree.
‘He Nick!... What’s wrong?’ Jesse asked. Shit, was it so obvious that he was down?
‘Nothing, just slept bad because of the monster.’ They laughed and didn’t ask any further. Jesse gave me only a little worried look, which I ignored. We chatted about nothing until the bell rang again and we had to go to their classes.
In class Jesse sat next to me again. After just doing nothing and doodling in our books, Jesse passed me a small paper.
“Now, tell me what’s wrong, Wheelz” it said.
“really nothing” I didn’t want to tell it yet, it was just a too new feeling.
“do you believe it yourself?”
“yes of course I do”
“I don’t”
“you should”
“I don’t think so”
‘just shut up!’ I whispered, a little irritated by now.
‘Just tell me! I’m your best friend!’ I looked at Jesse and saw that it hurt him to see his best friend sad and not knowing what’s going on, and not getting an answer when he asks.
‘Let’s skip next class’ I finally gave in. Not happy by the thought of telling someone, but I hoped I would be relieved if I had done it.
‘Okay. Just remember I wanna help you okay?’ I only sighed in response. I knew Jesse would take it well, he wasn’t homophobic at all and my best friend. But it was hard to confess to someone else when you nearly hadn’t confessed to yourself.
When class was over we decided to walk to the park. We sat down at the swings were we used to play when we were young.
‘So, are you gonna tell me what’s on your mind?’ Jesse brought up the subject. I looked down to my feet. They were slowly moving forwards and backwards while I swung a little.
‘Yes, I think so’ I was quit for a while, while thinking about how to say it. Jesse just waited patient for me to say it.
‘Jesse… um…’
‘Just say it Nick’ he said in a comforting soft voice and wrapped an arm around my schoulders.
‘I… I think… um… I think I’m gay’ I whispered.
I was deep in thoughts when I got ready for school. Did this mean I was really gay!? I knew I didn’t like girls… But I thought I just hadn’t met “the one” yet. Turned out I was gay! How was I going to tell this to everyone? I thought that telling my parents could wait. But I should tell this Jesse once. I mean, he’s my best friend! He has the right to know this. And what about Tyson? I smiled when I thought of him. He is so cute! But I knew him for just 2 weeks. I didn’t even know if he’s gay too. I didn’t know a thing about him! I sighed, I needed to get to know him, and become friends. After that I could think about something more…
When I arrived at school Jesse, Jack and David were waiting for me.
‘Hey Wheelz! Did you sleep well? No nightmares because of the movie?’ David joked and patted me on my back. No, not because of the movie...
‘Oh hell no! I couldn’t sleep because I think there’s a monster under my bed!’ I said fake whining.
‘Aw, little Nicky! Should we sleep over tonight to protect you for the monster?’
‘NO! Jesse, please! You’re even scarier than the monster! Who knows what you would do to me when I’m sleeping…’ I shuddered. We all walked laughing into school to our first class, which was Math. Great. *sarcasm*
In class I couldn’t concentrate, what means, even less than normal. I was thinking about me being gay, and whether Tyson liked me or not, and how to tell everyone… You see? Enough to think about in class.
‘NICK!’ Jesse, who sat next to me, whisper shouted.
‘What?’
‘I was talking to you! But you didn’t answer. Where was you thinking about?’
‘Oh, nothing. Daydreaming about the band.’ That wasn’t a too big lie, I mean: Tyson IS in our band.
‘Yeah sure, but what I was asking you: do you mind having a band rehearsal today?’
‘No, of course not. Are we having any performances soon?’
‘Yeah, in ab-‘
‘Wheeler and Tabish! Stop talking!’ stupid teacher. The rest of the lesson passed while I was thinking about Tyson again.
When the bell rang for lunch break I jumped up and went searching for Tyson to tell him about the band rehearsal. I knew I could text him, but I wanted to see him anyway.
‘Tyson!’ I called when I saw him.
‘What? Oh, hi Nick!’
‘We’re having another band rehearsal today. Is that okay with you?’
‘Yeah, sure! your place again?’
‘Yes, can you come at 4?’
‘Sure! See u!’ after saying that, Tyson left with a couple of his friends. I signed, there was no way Tyson liked me. Not in the same way as I liked Tyson. He walked back to his friends, who were sitting under a tree.
‘He Nick!... What’s wrong?’ Jesse asked. Shit, was it so obvious that he was down?
‘Nothing, just slept bad because of the monster.’ They laughed and didn’t ask any further. Jesse gave me only a little worried look, which I ignored. We chatted about nothing until the bell rang again and we had to go to their classes.
In class Jesse sat next to me again. After just doing nothing and doodling in our books, Jesse passed me a small paper.
“Now, tell me what’s wrong, Wheelz” it said.
“really nothing” I didn’t want to tell it yet, it was just a too new feeling.
“do you believe it yourself?”
“yes of course I do”
“I don’t”
“you should”
“I don’t think so”
‘just shut up!’ I whispered, a little irritated by now.
‘Just tell me! I’m your best friend!’ I looked at Jesse and saw that it hurt him to see his best friend sad and not knowing what’s going on, and not getting an answer when he asks.
‘Let’s skip next class’ I finally gave in. Not happy by the thought of telling someone, but I hoped I would be relieved if I had done it.
‘Okay. Just remember I wanna help you okay?’ I only sighed in response. I knew Jesse would take it well, he wasn’t homophobic at all and my best friend. But it was hard to confess to someone else when you nearly hadn’t confessed to yourself.
When class was over we decided to walk to the park. We sat down at the swings were we used to play when we were young.
‘So, are you gonna tell me what’s on your mind?’ Jesse brought up the subject. I looked down to my feet. They were slowly moving forwards and backwards while I swung a little.
‘Yes, I think so’ I was quit for a while, while thinking about how to say it. Jesse just waited patient for me to say it.
‘Jesse… um…’
‘Just say it Nick’ he said in a comforting soft voice and wrapped an arm around my schoulders.
‘I… I think… um… I think I’m gay’ I whispered.
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sorry for the lack of updates! first I had a little writesblock, and then I was ill (i'm still not really over it, but enough to write without my head feeling like it want to explode)I was planning to make this story a kind of true, like what really could have happen. But I don't think I can do that. So I'll just let my fantasy make this up =D
commenters will get digital cookies! ^^
Oh, and... I'll fail my french test tomorrow because I wrote this =D