Let's Follow Through With This Reckless Dream

"Who was she?" Colby asked hopping off the counter as I walked in and the bell rang up above my head.

"My fucking use-to-be best friend, Jasey." I said through clenched teeth and folding my arms across my chest as Colby looked at me with those deep sad brown eyes of his.

"You have a boyfriend?" He chuckled as everything turned silent and I nodded.

"His name is Jack...And, yes, I gave my virginity up to him just yesterday because I have been scared all these years." I whispered as Colby smirked and I cocked my eyebrow at him.

"What?" I said.

"I think that's cute." He smiled sweetly as I blushed.

"Well, that's embarrassing." I laughed as he laughed with me.

"Can I tell you something..." I said to him, getting ready to cry as he nodded, making his brown bangs fall in front of his brown eyes.

"Anything." He replied.

"Your dad doesn't know about this...No one does but my friends." I said shaking my head.

I am actually going to tell him this? Damn. I sure am taking a risk...

"Okay." He said as I walked over to the counter and hopped up on it, sitting down as he got up on there right beside me.

"Terry Malcom...Isn't my real name...I'm fake." I whispered looking up at him as he cocked his eyebrow and I continued.

"I escaped from jail three years ago...because I killed a guy named Freddie." I whispered as tears filled my green eyes.

His brown eyes popped out of his sockets...

"My name is Maxine Willem." I said as he hopped off the counter and got in front of me as tears slid down my cheeks.

"Wait. So your that girl whose boyfriend died because of that Freddie guy shot him? And your the one who got even?" He smiled as I nodded and tried to wipe away my tears.

"Damn...No wonder your schitzo." He whispered as my mouth dropped and he gave me a look of sympathy.

"No! I didn't mean it like that!" He said quickly as I hopped off the counter and rolled my eyes.

"I meant like...There wasn't that much in your past to make you have this disease so now I know...And I can help you, Maxine." He said calling me by my full name as I stared at him in his understanding brown eyes.

"Y-you can?" I stuttered as he smiled reassuringly and brought me into a nice tight hug as I took in his scent.

"Of course I can." He whispered in my ear as I sobbed on his shoulder.

"I don't feel good right now." I sobbed as we pulled apart and he gave me a concerned look.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I just made out with you and I have a boyfriend and Jasey just made me feel like shit...What do I do?" I said in between sobs as he gave me a look of sympathy and shrugged.

"I'm a guy so...If my girlfriend done that to me I would dump her but that depends on the guy like...What is this Jack guy like?" He asked as I gave him a half smile.

"He's sweet and...Nice...and cute...and I c-c-can't believe I just did that to him!" I yelled out as Colby brought me into another hug and I cried in his chest.

"Relax, Max...I'm sure if he is understanding he will forgive you." Colby said as I shook my head.

"I won't forgive myself." I muttered trying to wipe away my tears.

Then out of no where I went physco.

I grabbed my tool kit and threw it at the wall as everything came out of it and Colby looked at me in shock and then Freddie showed up right behind the counter as I grabbed a sharp pointy tool and threw it at him.

"Fuck you, Freddie! Fuck you! Fuck you!" I screamed like crazy and cried on the counter.

"Max?" I heard Colby say as I looked up and found that he was gone and Freddie was standing right there in front of him.

"Why won't you die?! Get out of my life! Get out of my fucking life!" I screamed like crazy as I saw Freddie back away from me in shock and go out of the store as I stood there crying like crazy.

"Colby?" I whispered looking around but I couldn't find him....

Back At Home (Later That Evening)

I walked in to find Jack sitting on the couch flipping through the channels on our TV.

"Hey, babe." He greeted me with a wave as I gave him a half smile and waved back sitting down by him as he looked at my wrist.

"Cool tat." He complimented as I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder and he laid his head on top of mine.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"What's wrong?" He asked as I shrugged and looked up at him as he stared at me with his adorable clueless face.

"I cheated on you..." I let it out...Just like that.

"You what?" He chuckled thinking I was kidding but I wasn't...

I gave him my serious eyes as his softened.

"You what?" He repeated as his smile faded.

"I said...I...Cheated...On...You." I said as his mouth parted slightly and we sat there in silence.

"Why?" He said as his eyes turned stern.

I knew he was pissed at me. What guy wouldn't be if their girlfriend did that to them?

"I don't know...It just happened." That was my only answer?!

He got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen as I sat there wondering what he was doing...He then came back out with a picture of me in him in hand.

It was when we were at the bowling alley...My eyes were crossed and Jack's tongue was sticking out as I stared at it and he handed it to me.

"Do I mean anything to you?" He asked me as he snatched the picture back from my hand and my mouth parted slightly as I felt the lump urge it's way back up my throat.

"Of course you do." I muttered.

"Then why were you cheating on me? And don't say it just happened because things like that just don't happen! There has to be a reason, Max!" He yelled as I gulped.

"It was Dr. Wellington's son and...I don't know." I whispered shaking my head as tears flew down my cheeks and Jack sat down by me and stared at me.

"What? Do you like him or something?" Jack asked as I shrugged.

"Sort of...I don't know." I muttered as Jack slunk deeper down into the couch and gave me a hurt look.

"How am I suppose to know that you're never gonna do it again?" He asked as I shrugged and cried harder.

"You shouldn't trust me, Jack. I'm no good. I'm crazy." I said as tears streamed faster down my cheeks and he shook his head.

"Why would you do this? I didn't think you were that kind of girl..." He said as I gulped and tried to stop crying but it didn't work.

"We just had sex, Max...And then you go off and cheat?" He said as I looked away from his hurt face.

"I'm so sorry...I just made out with him and that was it." I sobbed as Jack's mouth parted slightly and he gave me a look of rage.

"Max..." He paused.

"Yes?" I sobbed.

"I'm breaking up with you." He said as I cried like crazy into my hands.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I sobbed into my hands as everything turned silent.

I didn't think Jack would break up with me over this...

"Are you leaving me?" I asked him as he shook his head.

"This is my house...You have to leave." He whispered...I knew he didn't want to do this I could tell by his green eyes.

"Oh o-o-okay." I stuttered getting up off the couch and walking upstairs to our room as I got my Monster duffel bag out and grabbed all my clothes and shoes and put it in there.

I went into the bathroom and got all my hair products and put them in my bag and then I stopped when my eyes landed on a photo album I made of me and Jack one year for his birthday...

I picked it up quickly and put it in my bag.

I zipped up my bag and walked downstairs and slung the bag over my shoulder.

"Bye." I managed to choke out.

"Where are you going?" He asked as I shrugged.

"Maybe a hotel." I whispered.

"Why not Jasey's?" He asked as I gulped.

"I just don't feel like putting up with her shit." I whispered.

"Did you guys get into a fight?" He asked as I nodded.

"Are you going to that one guy's house?" He asked as I shook my head.

I could always go to my Aunt Sarah's house....I haven't seen Maddie in a month.

"Bye." I whispered walking out the door and to my car as I got in and started it up.

Aunt Sarah's?
Jacob's?
Jeff's?
Mr. Lindin's?
Daryn's?
Nick's?
Jay's?
Daniel's?
Mike's?
Danny's?

I pulled off and headed for the airport. I am not sticking around Baltimore...Dr. Wellington won't be back for a while anyway...I'll just leave...

7 Hours Later

"You and Jack are so cute together!" Maddie squealed pointing to a picture of me and Jack sleeping.

"I know." I muttered flipping through the photo album I made of just us...

"Are you gonna be hanging out with Jacob tomorrow? He is so cool!" She gushed as I laughed.

"Maybe...I haven't seen him in like three months." I smiled rolling my eyes.

Maddie knew about my disease and so did my Aunt Sarah...They had to keep a close eye on me.

"I left my phone back home." I muttered.

Now no one can get ahold of me...

"I have this cool blackberry Aunt Sarah got me!" She bragged as I chuckled.

"Are you turning into a prep on me, Maddie?" I smirked as she giggled and nodded, making her black curls bounce up and down.

"I have five boys after me...They gave me all their numbers." She smiled as I cocked my eyebrow up at her.

"Skater boys?" I asked as she rolled her eyes.

"Ew. No! Jock's...Pure Jockey's." She said as I laughed.

"Aunt Sarah! Keep an eye on Maddie!" I yelled as Aunt Sarah peeked her head out of the kitchen.

"Did she tell you about those boys?" She asked as I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"She's a heart breaker." My Aunt Sarah smiled going back into the kitchen.

"I am not! I just like playing hard-to-get." Maddie smirked as I looked down at a picture of me kissing Jack. He had black ink under his eyes to represent the big Raven's game.

"So...he broke up with you?" Maddie asked as I gulped and nodded.

"Why? You didn't tell me why." She whined.

"I made out with my therapists son and I confessed about it to Jack because I felt bad..." I whispered trying not to cry or think about Jack but it was kind of hard when there was a book full of memories of me and him in front of me! But I liked to look at it...because I made it for him.

"Ohhh drama, little mama." Maddie giggled as I rolled my eyes and shoved the lump down my throat but it was too late and I was crying in front of my baby sister.

"You're 13-years-old you have no idea what drama is." I laughed wiping away my tears as she rolled her eyes.

"Please! I put up with it everyday!" She yelled as I gulped.

"Who is going out with who...Rumor's...Boy's..." She sighed.

"Be lucky you have the easy life." I whispered.

"It's not that easy." She said.

"It seems like it to me." I sighed closing the photo album and sitting it down beside me.

"I have to go to bed for school tomorrow. But give me hugs!" She squealed hopping on top of me and hugging me tight as I laughed and returned the hug.

"Goodnight, Maddie." I smiled waving to her as she jogged upstairs.

"She grew up so fast." My Aunt Sarah said coming out into the living room and plopping down on the couch by me.

"I know." I whispered.

"I'm sorry to hear about you and Jack." She said giving me a look of sympathy as I shrugged.

"I deserved to get dumped. I mean...after what I did to him." I said quietly trying not to cry.

"He should be lucky you were honest, Hun." She said patting my leg as I shook my head.

"He deserved someone better then me anyway...I was too crazy and lame." I laughed.

"You are not crazy or lame, Maxine!" She said as I gave her a pathetic look.

"I was in a special hospital because of my disease...I am crazy. And I am lame...I talk lame...I'm lame." I said rolling my eyes as my Aunt Sarah laughed and I looked at her cocking my eyebrow.

"What?" I chuckled.

"Jack is lame and crazy too, sweetie. You both are the same person." She smiled as I rolled my eyes.

"I'm just saying...I shouldn't of done that to him it was wrong of me...We just weren't meant for each other. He was meant for that chick Melanie or whatever...they seemed happy together." I said.

"He's happy with you, Maxine. How come you guys stayed together for three years? Hm?" She said as I shrugged.

"It's because he loved you, Maxine...He loved you and he was happy with you...And you were happy with him...right?" She asked as I nodded.

"I think we should just separate for a while...I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. I can't even have sex right." I laughed as she laughed with me.

"What do you mean by that, sweetie?" She asked.

"I gave up my virginity to him just the other night...And I wasn't the best at it." I said itching the back of my head as my Aunt laughed.

"Maxine...You are truly one of a kind." She smiled as I smiled back.

"I'm just too crazy for him...Every where I go Freddie follows..."

She looked at me like I was crazy...I knew I was. People didn't have to urge it on me anymore.

"I think you should get some rest, Hun." She said standing up off the couch and handing me a blanket and a pillow as I laid down.

"Okay." I muttered covering up as she turned the lights out.

"Let me know if something is wrong." She said kissing my forehead and going off to bed as I laid there staring at the dark ceiling.

Out of no where his voice was echoing inside of my head.

Freddie...

My lips parted slightly as my hand slid up my shirt and I felt my scar where I got shot at...I could still feel the pain now...

I closed my eyes thinking about my mom and my dad...I remember how my mom use to sing to me. Her voice still echos in my head till this day...My dad use to stand by and watch. Maddie wasn't even born yet...I was still a little girl.

I gulped as tears flew down my cheeks.

I deserved this.