In All This Chaos, We Found Safety

“The last thing I remember, you were begging me not to go. You had that look of sadness on your face that only I would know…” – Every Avenue

I woke up the next morning to sounds of an engine to a van running outside my window. I knew it was The Maine’s band and I dreaded having to get out of bed and having to see that I was right. The Maine’s band was parked in Kennedy’s driveway; the trailer open as the boys were carrying Kennedy’s AMPs into it.

I quickly changed into a pair of denim shorts, a black and white striped tank top and black Toms. I grabbed Kennedy’s navy blue American Apparel hoodie, that I had borrowed the night before, and pulled it on as I walked downstairs and outside. I crossed the street and watched as the boys finished packing up the trailer.

“Sierra!” Pat called out and tackled me with a hug. “I’m going to miss you!”

“I’m going to miss you too Pat,” I smiled and hugged him back.

Jared and John walked over to say goodbye too, but had to pull Pat off of me so that they could. Jared gave me a hug, as did John.

“Did you already say goodbye to Laura?” I asked him when he released his arms from around me.

“Mhmm,” he sighed. “I’m going to miss her a lot. I wish we could take you guys with us.”

“Me too John, trust me.”

John, Jared and Pat climbed into the van and I walked over to where Garrett and Kennedy was standing talking to each other. Garrett smiled at me and wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m gonna miss you Sierra,” he told me, giving me a small squeeze before letting go.

“I’ll miss you too. Take care of Kennedy for me,” I softly smiled.

“Of course,” he nodded and left Kennedy and I so we could say our goodbye.

I waited until I saw Garrett climbed into the van before I rushed into Kennedy’s arms and burying my face into his chest.

“I love you Kennedy,” I mumbled, tears now rushing down my cheeks.

Kennedy rubbed his hand up and down my back, attempting to sooth me.

“I’ve always loved you Sierra,” he whispered, placing a kiss on the top of my head and I slowly pulled away from him.

“You’ll probably want your hoodie for the road,” I said, unzipping it but Kennedy placed his hands on mine and shook his head.

“Nah, keep it. I’ll get it when I come home,” he smiled.

I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair, “God I’m such a mess and here you are so…content still.”

Kennedy shook his head, “Trust me Sierra, I’m a wreck just as much as you are but I’m doing my best to try and put a face on and cheer you up.”

“You’re always trying to cheer me up,” I told him. “You’ve always been there for me this year. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to make it without you this summer if something goes wrong.”

“I’ll still be there Sierra,” he said, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Maybe not physically there, but I’m there. And you’ve got Andrea, Jamie and Megan also, you’ll be fine.”

I looked down at my shoes and sighed. Kennedy moved his hand to under my chin and gently raised my head up.

“Hey Sierra, smile.” Kennedy grinned before placing a kiss on my forehead. “Before you know it I’ll be home and we’ll pick up things were they left off.”

I smiled and placed my hands on his torso and kissed his lips, “I can’t wait.”

Kennedy and I walked hand in hand to the van and eventually letting go for one last hug and kiss before we knew it was time that the boys left. I watched as Kennedy got into the van and slid the car door close. He put his hand on the window, symbolizing a goodbye. I stood there, crossing my arms and tears rolling down my face. I tried to put a smile on and lifted up my hand a slowly waved. Jared pulled the van out of Kennedy’s driveway and I watched it as he drove it down the street. I tore my eyes away from the direction the van had drove in and when I could no longer see it I turned around to go back inside.

Things were going to be different from now on. Kennedy was gone and soon so would I. My room was pretty much already packed, boxes stacked against one of the walls. The only things I still hadn’t packed were my Mac, and an outfit for me to wear tomorrow on my drive to California.

I sat down at my desk, and looked out the window to the window of Kennedy’s room that had the curtains closed before placing my hands on the keyboard in front of me.

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Kennedy is gone and so are the rest of the boys. My room is pretty much packed and it feels so weird that this time tomorrow I’ll be driving to California to start my new life. No more having to deal with my parents, or anything bad that I had over the past few years. I’m more than excited to live with Andrea, Megan and Jamie, it was something we had been hoping to happen for a while and now it finally is. Without them I don’t think I would have really survived my high school years. Laura is going to college here so I won’t be able to see her that much anymore but she promises to visit this summer and on breaks. I’m going to miss Kennedy but he told me before I knew it The Maine would be playing in California and I’d get to see him again. I love that boy more than he knows.