Breaking the Heartbreaker

Once I figured out that it was Jack next to me on the swings, I just kind of froze. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know whether I should leave or not. I just kind of sat there staring at the snow-covered ground of the park.

I could tell Jack felt just as awkward about the entire situation, because he hasn't said anything yet. Usually you can't get the boy to shut up. Right now, he's just looking down and shuffling his feet on the ground beneath the swing.

I sighed and figured I should probably say something or just get up and go. Since I had no idea what I should say, I figured getting up to go would be my best bet. I got up from my spot on the swing and started walking towards my house.

"Hey," a familiar voice said from behind me.

I froze and turned around slowly. I was surprised to see that Jack was standing there with his hands in his pockets. Seeing him in front of me for the first time in a long time took my breath away. "Hi."

"You know, I've dreamed of finally calling you every curse word in the fucking book because of what you did, but I guess I can't blame you for what happened."

I was so shocked. The first time Jack talks to me since the incident at his party, and he says it's not my fault? "Are you serious right now? Of course it's my fault. I'm the one who fucking did it. You have every right to be thoroughly pissed off."

He nodded. "You're right. I do have every right to be pissed off. I have every right to curse you out and tell you how fucked up that was. I also have every right to slap you straight in your face right now," he started, but sighed and looked at me in my face right as I was starting to tear up.

"But you know what? I'm not going to do that. Because no matter how pissed off I was about that, I can't be pissed off about it forever. Even if I could stay mad forever, I could never stay mad at you forever. Even if it was fucked up what you did, and why you did it, I just can't bring myself to do anything."

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because I'm in love with you. Ever since the first day you started Dulaney. You were just so different, and so unlike the other girls, I was drawn to you. No matter what, my eyes were always on you. It didn't matter if you were pissed at me. I always wanted to be near you.

"You were the first girl I've ever felt like this about. It scared the shit out of me. It still does. I didn't know what to do when I finally had you, and I definitely don't know what to do now that I've lost you. All I know now, is that I would kill for you to be back in my life again. I don't know what to do without you."