Breaking the Heartbreaker

Blind dates. I'm pretty sure most people hate them. The ones that your friends set up because they think you're too lonely or something. And they set you up with someone you hardly even like just for the fun of making you mad. Or its just for the general enjoyment of the other person, while you hardly even like the person, the setting, or even the date itself. And then, to top it all off, it ends up being extremely awkward because you don't know what to talk about. Yeah, that's where I'm at right now. All because of a very strange being named Alex.

&&

Once I found out it was Jack, I quickly faced forward in my swing and stared at the sky for what seemed like an eternity. I'm thinking I made it extremely awkward when I found out it was him, because we aren't doing anything. We were just staring at the sky, both of us probably hoping we weren't in the predicament we were in right now.

After what seemed like forever, Jack spoke. "Sooo..."

I sighed. "Sooo..." I turned to face him. "Why is this awkward?"

He fixed his gaze to the ground before speaking. "I don't know. 'Cause you found out it was me?"

I sighed once more. He was right. It did become awkward once I found out it was him and not some other guy that I wouldn't have known, and wouldn't have seen again. But, since I did find out it was Jack and not some other guy, it gave me a sense of relief. A sense of relief I would have never guessed I would have around him. Relief that he knows me (somewhat) and wouldn't try anything illegal.

While we were both thinking quietly to ourselves, Jack got the bright idea to suddenly go really high on his swing and jump off. What he didn't consider, was how far he would go, because he missed the wood chips and found the grass by the curb of the playground.

I'm guessing he just got the wind knocked out of him, but when he rolled over groaning, I guessed something was up. I ran over to him, suppressed the urge to laugh in his face and just knelt down by his seemingly lifeless body. I lifted his arm and dropped it a few times before checking if he was okay.

"Jack, are you okay?" It felt to me, like I was talking to a dead person, rather than a dumb person who fell from the sky.

He didn't respond, so I proceeded to go by his head and slap his face a few times. It seemed to work, because he was moving. Like, actually moving. Sitting up and everything. Boy was I proud of myself for doing all the dumb things I could to get him to move

When he sat up, was when I noticed the close proximity that our faces were to each other. The next thing I knew, Jack's lips had found mine, for the best, probably the most awkward kiss I had ever had. Before I even had time to react, he retracted his face from mine and just stared at me for who knows how long.

The kiss just kinda left me in an awkward place. I could either walk away and ruin my chances of fulfiling Emily's dream of having Jack fall in love, and then ripping it out from underneath him. I have to admit... it sounds a bit harsh. Or, I could stay and be caught up in another awkward moment when one of us eventually professes our undying love for each other. The first option sounds a bit more promising....

Jack sat down on his barely there booty and started playing with grass. It was probably the most adorable thing I've ever seen him do." Sooo... where does that leave us?"

That question led me to believe that he hates fucking up friendships, and would rather have the other person profess their love than him being the first to say something. Probably because he doesn't like being rejected.

I shifted my weight so I was sitting cross-legged on the grass as well. "In all honesty, I really don't know."

He sort of looked at me from under his bangs and smiled. "Well... I know that, that kiss was amazing," He looked down at the grass once more,"and I kind of really like you."

His statement left my head in a whorl and my stomach in knots. It also hit me like a ton of bricks. He likes me. He really, really likes me. If I do this thing to him that I've already started, that will crush him. At the beginning, I was all for it, because he was an asshole. But now that I've seen a whole other side of him... I don't think I could live with myself if I let this go on any longer. Sooner or later I'll have to tell him, but not now. Now... I'm too afraid of breaking what hasn't even started yet.