Let Me Love You

As the memory of our first kiss played through my mind, I let out a shaky sob. How could he do this to me? He said - he promised - he'd love me "forever," but apparently, forever is a lot shorter than people say.

Bert McCracken.
Love of my life, the man who holds my heart.

And the man that broke it.

Two years ago, he was here. We were happy. But then he left. He left me all by myself. I was completely alone.

And I still am.

There's a big, empty void where my heart used to be. My friends have come and gone and forgotten all about me, just like him.

I live in this big house everyday, reminded of the broken promises and lies.

I wanted to burn it to the ground, and so many nights, I tried to. But something deep inside told me not to, so I never did.

My heart was waiting. My mind was convinced he was coming back. But I knew he wasn't. When people say the decision is between your heart and mind, they're wrong. Your gut is usually the one that's right.

He never even got the chance to meet his children. Two twins, Layla and Katrina. They had just turned 2, and were still without a dad.

He had gotten me pregnant the night he said he "wanted my heart." And a week later, I had to deal with the shock by myself. I had no one to support me. I had no one there when they were born. No one at all.

Right now, I was on my way to pick up the twins from their daycare. I had a job during the day as a librarian's assistant. It payed little, but enough.

But, imagine my shock when I hear from the teacher, standing outside the classroom, that a man was inside claiming to be their father. I felt sick to my stomach, wondering what kind of pervert would lie about something like that. I threw the door open and whoosh. The second my eyes fell on him, I hit the floor, unconscious.

When I awoke, it was much later in the day. I could hear the twins playing and giggling, and a man's voice with them. I sat up, in bed, head pounding and ran downstairs. There he was, sitting with them on the floor, having a tea party. Layla and Katrina seemed ecstatic, and the man's eyes were sparkling. The twins waved in excitement, but I did nothing but stare. They gave me looks of confusion, but continued to play. The man stood and approached me.

"Tori," he began, "let me explain."

"Fuck you," I whispered, making sure the kids couldn't hear, "get the hell out of my house."

"No. Not until you know why I left." He replied, frowning.

"Oh, because I want to hear how tired you were of me? How you didn't love me? How everything you said to me was a lie?" I scowled, arms crossed, glaring.

"That's not what happened," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, "it's...do you-do you remember Antonio?" I thought it over.

"The douche bag who was high all the time?" His lips cracked up into a small smile.

"Yeah, that's right," he swallowed, hesitating. "He was my drug dealer." His words hit me like a bullet. I froze, unable to speak. "He called the morning I left," his voice dropped, "he told me he would kill you if I didn't pay up." I gasped.

"What?" I hissed, shocked.

"I had to get away," he continued. "so I could pay him and not bring you into it ever again."

"You-You could have told me." I said, tears glistening in my eyes.

"I couldn't. I didn't want you involved," he said, "I payed off everything, got clean. It's taken me all this time, but I'm here now. I'm back and I'm so sorry." What hurt me the most was that there were actual tears in his eyes. He was begging for forgiveness. He was sincere, but I wasn't convinced.

"Why should I take you back, Bert? Tell me one good reason." I spat, watching him closely.

"Because I love you," he said, voice cracking, "I never want to be away from you. I've missed you so much. I-I want...I want you to marry me, Tori. Let me love you again. Please?" I felt my jaw slack in surprise. I could see Layla and Katrina watching curiously from the living room, listening quietly. They needed him, maybe even more than I did. And I couldn't deny how much I loved him. I couldn't. He was back, he wanted me back, he wanted this family.

"Tori McCracken," The name rolled off my tongue. "That's...different."

"We always were different," he smiled, "So, it's a yes? Please say it's a yes. I'm about get on my knees here."

"It's a definitely," I said, smiling. He swooped down, bringing me into his arms and kissed me passionately, spinning in circles. The kids squealed.

"Ew! Daddy and mommy are kissing!" It made my heart melt to hear.

Daddy and mommy.
Bert and Tori.

It had a nice ring to it.