Strawberry Swing

without you its a waste of time

Audrey d'Allemagne sat on the ledge swinging her legs and staring aimlessly. She fingered the flowing fabric that made up her dress. She looked everywhere and anywhere except towards the man that sat next to her.

"Audrey, I really want to know if you approve of Angeline and I" the man said grasping Audrey's hand to gather her attention. She jerked his hand from underneath his grip and closed her eyes, hoping that he might leave her be, hoping he would go away. "Audrey, please answer me" the man repeated, his tone exasperated.

"Have I given the impression that I do not approve?" she cursed herself for having such a thick french accent, she cursed herself for not being more like her sister, for not being blond and tall, and for not having a light french accent that sounded pretty and was easy to understand. Maybe if she were more like Angeline it would be her getting married today.

"Well whenever I ask your opinion on anything that has to do with me and Angie you completely avoid the question, and these last few days you've been completely morose, as if you've been dreading this day for years. I'm sorry if I happen to get the feeling that you don't approve of us in anyway." He said with a slight tinge of anger coating his words.

"Of course I am happy, how could I not be? One of my closest friends and my sister are going to marry each other." Her voice started shaking, and she wished she could posses the self-control that Angie had. This too most likely counted against her in trying to capture the man's heart. "Forgive me if I happen to think about matters pertaining more towards myself than the two of you. I'm sorry I have to go." She said breaking away from him abruptly.

"Wait, Audrey. Tell me what's wrong." The man implored, Audrey paused at the steps and began playing with her dress again. She weighed her options to see which exactly was the lesser of to evils, to tell him how she truly felt and be rejected and embarrassed or push him away and to the arms of her sister.

"Nothings wrong" she murmured under breath before continuing on into the church. Scurrying along the corridor and back to the Bride's makeshift chamber.

"Où étiez-vous Audrey?" Angeline the frazzled bride asked. Where were you? Audrey almost scoffed at the question. The groom was technically missing, meaning he had slipped out the church to talk with Audrey without telling anyone, and Angeline wasn't even in her dress while the wedding was a mere twenty minutes away. But somehow she had found the nerve to ask where Audrey was.

"Why are concerned about me? Your wedding is in 20 minutes and you're not even dressed yet" Audrey said in an aloof manner, sending Angeline into a flurry to finish. She sighed and stared out the window, she didn't want to be here, especially not be here and in the wedding that would destroy her heart. Her being the maid of honor was the icing on the cake. She watched all the people file into the cathedral where the wedding was being held. They all looked so happy for the couple as they filed in having little side conversations about how beautiful the church was, and what not. Being selfish she wished she could be somewhere else, anywhere but in that god-forsaken church.

By some miracle Angeline had managed to get herself to look like the perfect glowing bride, and demanded that the group photos be taken immediately before the wedding, which meant faking being happy, as if she wasn't doing that already. All the other bridesmaids and the few flower girls lined up in the order that they were dictated to be in, and they all adorned smiles on they're pretty faces. Audrey's face hurt from faking happiness, it wasn't right and it wasn't in her nature. Audrey loved Angeline, how could she not Angeline was the best sister anyone could ask for, she was just all around perfect. That is why Audrey despised her sister so much, because she was perfect, because she got the one thing that Audrey wanted, the one thing that Audrey needed.

Then suddenly the moment Audrey had been dreading since the couple's first date had arrived. She felt herself walk down the aisle be hind the other girls. Her head was light and there was a lump in her throat,but she held her smile. It was the same fake smile from the photos that had been taken, it was the same fake smile that she wore every time she saw them together, it was the very smile that she adorned when the engagement was announced. With every step she took towards the altar she died a little on the inside. She looked up at him, and he beamed back at her, then the music started, and down came Angeline looking like some angel sent from above. All the people in the pews that she passed dimmed in comparison to her.

Finally Angeline reached the altar, signifying the end of Audrey's dream.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here in the sign of God" the priest began. Once again Audrey caught herself looking at the man who would never be hers. His eyes gleamed with the love that he held for his bride. This was a look that Audrey always wished he would give to her, a look that she always gave him. After the priest had finished droning on about the significance of marriage, he reached the vows.

"Do you James Edward Franco take Angeline Vivienne d'Allemagne to be your wife – to live together after God’s ordinance – in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" James said with his beautiful brown eyes gleaming. James' eyes were the first thing Audrey ever noticed about him. They were the first thing she ever loved about him. She loved how they gleamed when he was happy, and how deeply brown they were, the gold flecks that only shone when he was in the sun. Those brown eyes were the same reason Angeline had first fallen for him too, and Audrey couldn't blame her, it's no surprise that anyone got lost in his brown eyes.

"Do you Angeline Vivienne d'Allemagne take James Edward Franco to be your husband – to live together after God’s ordinance – in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" Angeline answered.

Audrey held the bouquet and analyzed every petal in it as the rings were exchanged. When the time to object came along she bit her tongue and looked out at the crowd hoping they might say something, but no answer came.

And then the most disheartening day in Audrey's life occurred. Mr. and Mrs. James Franco walked down the aisle hand in hand, while Audrey trailed behind with James' brother Dave on her arm, utterly heart-broken.

They all, including Audrey went to the reception, it was at a quaint little family park, where Angeline and James had their first date. It was also, though Audrey doubted the he remembered, where Audrey and James first met.

After delivering her speech and watching some of the festivities Audrey departed from the wedding party, and headed to the swing set. She took of her shoes and sat in the swing. She wiggled her toes in the sand beneath her, and swung slightly.

"Mind if I join you?" A voice asked. Audrey looked up to see Dave, the younger brother of the groom.

"Sure." Audrey replied looking back down at the pattern that her feet began to make in the sand. He sat in ht swing beside hers and the two sat in a comfortable silence for an indefinite amount of time.

"So..." Dave said slowly, "This must be the worst day of your life huh?"

Audrey smiled down at the sand and slowly lifted her head, her eyes meeting Dave's.

"Am I really that transparent?" she said with a slight sadness coating her words.

"Nah, I just pay too close of attention to everything. Besides I know how you felt about James, I don't think anyone else really noticed though..." he trailed off. "You know I always imagined you two getting together."

Audrey gave him a sad smile, "Yeah I thought so too. I really just believed that one day he would love me how I loved him. I thought that we would be perfect together."

"Well how come you never told James?" Dave curiously questioned.

Audrey sighed and stared up at the sky, then back at the sand. "Because as hopeful as I was I couldn't get the courage to say anything, and by the time I found the nerve he was with Angie."

Dave gave her a confused look, "You could have said that you didn't want him to date your sister. You know he would have stopped pursuing her, you could have replaced her."

Again Audrey smiled, and slowly started to shake her head, "He loves Angie. I couldn't make him suffer so I could have him. I love him too much to do anything like that to him. So I sat there miserably so he would be happy. I guess I'd rather him be happy and me be miserable than vice versa." She paused, "Does that make any sense?'

Dave was silent for a while, and eventually Audrey averted her gaze from him. "Yeah, that makes sense. I guess you really did love him huh?"

"I guess so." she replied. The sky was turning different hues of pink, orange, purple and red. She looked back down at her dress that began to reflect the colors of the beautiful sunset. "Come on, we better head back to the party before they leave."

When they returned there were a few couples still dancing, but most people had sat down in their seats chatting as the party came to a close. Audrey wandered around sitting about the sidelines having a few conversations. When the time came for everyone to wish the newlyweds goodbye Audrey slipped away from the crowd and found her way to the swing set, and watched from there. She stayed and watched as they climbed into the car, as everyone laughed at something funny James had said, and as the car slowly took off. She watched it drive off into the distance. She stayed there for sometime after everyone had gone, thinking to herself. her eyes had stung and her face was wet, but she refused to believe she was crying, she was stronger than that she kept telling herself. Eventually she had stopped her weeping and sat there feeling slightly better. She remembered that Dave had given her his suit jacket and pulled it tightly around her as the San Fransisco night air began to nip at her skin. Shoving her hands into the pockets she felt a little peace of paper brush her hand. She pulled out the paper and read it's contents. She smiled after reading the note a couple times.

Don't you weep,
there is no one as lucky,
as easy,
or free


She smiled again and put the note back in the pocket. She wiped her eyes and stood up. She looked at her surroundings quickly before leaving.She walked all the way to a random cafe. She sat down at the counter and ordered some coffee from the waitress.

"Hey Audrey." Someone said sitting next to her.

She smiled turning towards the person. "Hey Dave."
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