Long Way to Go

=Mikey’s POV=

“Hey Mikes, you want to go with Ray, Bob and me tonight? We’re just going to the park to hang out a little.”

“Sure Gee. Thanks.”

I smiled up at him, it was weak, he could tell.

“What’s going on?”

“You wouldn’t care, why ask?”

“Look, I get that you miss your friend, but he’s gone, he left, he didn’t even say goodbye to you, forget him.”

“It’s not that easy.”

It wasn’t. Frankie has no idea what he’s done to me. Everyday he plagued my mind and I tried so hard to not let him. He’s my best friend in the entire world and he just left one day, no goodbye, no reasoning or nothing. I think it had to do with his ex-boyfriend though; it was a bad break-up apparently. He usually takes a break from everyone when he’s down, but this break’s been a year; a year away from home, away from his family, away from me.

“Well you’re still going to come with us, get you out of the house for a while. Mom will be happy you’re out for a bit.”

I just nodded and he took that as his hint to leave. Mom’s been trying for so long to get me to go out and have fun, even if it’s with Gerard. Sunset’s usually when he starts coming around anyways. He goes out every night and trashes himself; I hate it, mom hates it, I even think he hates it sometimes too. Tomorrow will be the worst day ever for me; that’s the day that Gee usually took all of us—Ray, Bob, Frank and me, out somewhere and we would all just hang out. It’s the first time Frank won’t be here for it. I was getting lost in my thoughts to Frank again. I remember the day we told each other that we both had a thing for guys; we laughed, we blurted it out at the exact same time. Frank’s my best friend, always has been. We’ve been there for each other so many times it’s ridiculous to even try to count them. When I’ve needed someone, he’s been there.

The day he left I cried; that’s the second time he’s ever made me cry like that too. I went around to his house after my shift; his house was empty, there was a ‘FOR SALE’ sign out front. I was devastated. I later found out that he moved away to college and his parents moved elsewhere, still in town though. Our parents were good friends too and often had dinner dates and such. There was a knock on my door,

“Mikey, lets go, Bob’s out front.”

“I’m coming.”

I grabbed my shoes and my hoodie; another night of awkward semi-loneliness. Don’t get me wrong, my brother’s friends were great guys, they did put up with me so far. At first it was because they felt bad for me, but I can now consider Ray and Bob two of my friends. We decided we would go down to the park; we hadn’t been there in a while. On my way home earlier I thought I saw Frank’s mom; she was in a car that I most definitely remember as hers, but she turned down the richies lane. Richies lane is where all the obnoxiously wealthy people live, and those can afford nice homes. Not like the road me and Gee live on, or the lanes Bob and Ray live on.

When we got to the park I just looked around, it’s a habit I picked up. I noticed a figure on top of the slide and thought nothing of it until after a while I heard Bob suggest one of us climb up and push them down the slide; I was the lucky idiot to do so seeing as I was the last to play our game of ‘not it’. I quietly climbed up the ladder and gave them a shove. I heard the snickers of the other three as I heard the thud of a body hitting the ground.

“What the hell was that for!? You don’t know me, why’d you even touch me?”

“Sorry man, you just looked inviting to shove down the slide.”

Gee’s an idiot, but that voice sounded familiar. I watched as they got up and dusted themselves off and shoved past the guys. That walk, I knew it.

“Frankie?”

The guy froze where he was, didn’t turn around though, but didn’t keep going either. Gee, Ray and Bob were still standing off to my side; I walked up to the guy we had pissed off. I had the strongest feeling that this was Frankie; my best friend was right in front of me. I put my hand on his shoulder and turned him around.

“You’re back!”

I couldn’t help it, I pulled him into a hug; me emotions were going haywire. He was here, right in front of me, in my arms. I let go and glanced over at my brother and his friends; I had to talk to him, just not here.

“Mikes, you, you should hate me. I pushed you away and didn’t try to even talk to you while I was gone and here I am, and you just accept me, why?”

“You’re my best friend Frank. That’s all that matters.”

He seemed taken back that I’d say that. We got away from Gerard and his friends and talked, well more than talked at some points.

“I need to tell you something Frankie, but I don’t want to overload you with things tonight.”

“Just tell me Mikes, I’m here for you, you know that, no matter what I’m here.”

“Frankie, it’s hard for me to tell you, so bear with me please?”

He gave me an assuring nod.

“You, you know how I told you once; a long time ago there was someone that I fell in love with?”

He gave another nod.

“Well I’ve realized I’m very much in love with that person.”

He looked slightly jealous of that statement; but it could’ve just been my eyes playing tricks on me.

“Frankie, I, I want to tell them but I’m afraid to.”

“Still? Mikes, it’s been a few years now? We were sixteen when you told me this, we’re twenty-one now my friend. That’s five years of loving someone and never saying anything, how do you do it?”

This was so hard for me and he was sitting here making me feel like an idiot. He pulled me to him once he realized that I was getting upset and that his was hard on me.

“Mikes, I’m sure they don’t even deserve you, you’re amazing, and anyone can see that. You’re one of the most genuine people I have ever met. You’re my best friend, wow, it doesn’t even feel like I’ve been gone a year, that we’ve been apart for an entire year.”

He lifted my chin up and wiped away my tears.

“Mikes, please, tell me who it is, maybe I can help you?”

I shook my head no; I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. I can’t tell him it’s him, he’ll probably freak out. I couldn’t help but to blurt out what I did:

“No one can help me. No one knows I love him. I don’t deserve him; he’s too good for me.”

He seemed shocked, momentarily, that I said ‘he’.

“Why can’t anyone help you? I’m sure he’d give you a chance, he’d be stupid not to!”

He’s sitting right in front of me and I’m so close, just do it already Michael James Way! You’re an idiot if you don’t! I pulled myself out of his embrace a little and looked into his eyes. I could tell mine were screaming, ‘it’s you, you idiot’ ‘I love you!’

“Mikes, I, I can’t understand if you don’t tell me? Do you think this is going to change our friendship, because you like guys too?”

He looked so confused and I was so frustrated that I growled and yelled, “You’re an idiot!” and then I kissed him. His lips felt like they belonged with mine, he fit perfectly in my hold. I’ve never put so much emotion into a kiss. When we finally broke apart, due to air, stupid oxygen, I smiled down at him.

“Welcome home Frankie.”

We shared a few more kisses and a few ‘I missed you’ statements before I heard my name being called. Gerard. He always knows how to ruin my life. I had to get back to him anyway; he would flip out and end up calling the National Guard to come find me.

“I’m coming Gee!”

We left our spot on the woods and came out in the midst of Bob and Ray, Gerard a little away.

“Man Mikey, he was about to call the National Guard on you, what were you two doing?”

“Talking Ray, this is my best friend; we had a lot to catch up on.”

“I swear you’re still a bunch of girls, you pansies!”

We all laughed and then I introduced Frank to Ray, Bob and Gee. They questioned about where he lives now; I had told them I thought I saw his mom pull onto richies lane and he agreed. Said they moved there while he was away, obviously. Gerard, being ever so generous, invited Frank to throw a part at his house while his parents were gone next weekend; something about really getting their neighbors to like Frank.

“That doesn’t sound half bad. If it’s not too soon, I could tell you we could do it next Friday night, my parents always have a date night, but it’s their anniversary next weekend so they’ll be out for the whole weekend and if I mention Mikey, my mom will melt and say yes to anything.”

I smiled at him; his mom loved me. I wonder what she would do if we told her we were more than best friends, but not in the brotherly sense. We made it to the parting point, I quickly kissed his cheek, my back was to the guys, they wouldn’t have noticed. After the walk home with Gerard pestering me about what Frank and I talked about, of course I didn’t give him any details, I was in my room. I dug around for me cell and went through my contacts and saw Frank’s name still in there. I wonder if his cell’s still the same.