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Sky Is Womb & She's the Moon

Only Silence

i decided to put it to the test. i lowered my guard an inch and....nothing. i felt nothing. only my own confusion. i sat up straight and lowered my guard a bit more, maybe i needed to focus more on him.i felt fleeting bits of anger and pleasure, all coming from the spinning world outside. i focused my empathy on him, still, nothing. i tried not to sigh in frustration. i bit my lip as my anxiety rose.

i let my guard down completely. i felt nothing. we were moving to fast by this point for me to feel anything from outside the car - the speedometer read 210 mph. but still, i felt nothing. as if i were by myself, with not a soul around.

what was wrong with him?

was there something wrong with me?

i settled into my seat and crossed my arms. we were getting close to my apartment. i could tell by the street signs at the red light we were currently stopped at. i had to find out more about him. how was it that i couldn't even sense if he was sleepy? not even the tiniest bit of emotion came from him. it was almost as if he was emotionless.

of course that was impossible, no one was emotionless. even animals had emotions, very basic ones, but they were emotions none the less. how was it i could tell the bird perched on the street sign was hungry, but i couldn't even tell if Delano was tired. or if he had good or bad intentions. i was planning on basing my decision depending on the readings i got from them tonight. but i cant even tell if Delano is in a good mood. nothing. zip. he was like a ghost.

i guess i would have to do this the hard way, we were only 10 minutes away from my house. maybe i could talk to him and sense some emotions through his words.

"thank you for the dinner tonight Delano, that was very kind of you to invite us out" i looked at him as i waited for a response.

"you are very welcome Amina. i only wished to get things started on a positive note. what better way to do that than over a good meal no?" he laughed again and looked at me. i tried to make eye contact with him, and when our eyes met for that split second before he continued to look at the road, i searched deep within him, trying to find any piece of emotion, even a grain of joy...but i was met with an emptiness i couldn't explain. it was like falling into a black pool devoid of all color and feeling. he was like some sort of zombie. i couldn't wrap my head around it.

maybe he too had a guard up around his mind, that had to be it. it was not uncommon for some people to train themselves to do so. but what are the odds of actually meeting one?

4 minutes away from my house...think fast!

"yes the food was very good. um Delano, i would like to continue our meeting tomorrow night if that's alright with you..." i didn't look at him this time, afraid he would decline the offer.

"tomorrow night is perfect. i have a few things to take care of late in the afternoon so i wont be available until around 8 or 9? is that OK with you?" at that he pulled up to my apartment building, damn him and his fast driving. i thought we had more time.

"that's fine. i will see you tomorrow, then. thanks for the ride, Delano" as i began to open the door, he did the same. what? he was gonna walk me to the door. i took it as another chance to read him.

****

it wasn't until i was outside the car that i noticed all the police cars outside of my apartment building....
♠ ♠ ♠
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Kisses&love