All for Eternity

Jared. Jared. Jared. My lip curls up into a slight snarl at the yellow sticky note placed right in the middle of my mirror. " I'm serious. School then home. No detours!" Like he didn't already mention this one hundred other times now he has to put it into writing. Whatever. I crumble the small piece of paper in my palm then grab my keys and make my way downstairs.

"Laila?" My dads voice is low and sleepy. "What are you doing?"

Maybe if I play it off I can say I was checking the locks or something... but maybe that would sound stupid Ive got to think of something better. "Checking the locks." Damn!

"Checking the ...locks? Get back to bed."

"Sure thing dad." I most likely look like an idiot right now, smiling tightly as I head back to my room.The Door to my room opens slightly when the back of my shoe touches it and I quickly slide in. Sanctuary. So much for using the front door tonight, looks like I'm going to have to use my old friend the window. A jump down then a push of the side of the house and my feet land softly on the ground, automatically running toward my vehicle.

Ive got to say I'm starting this "date" off all wrong pulling up barely toward the school parking lot, and it's already 8 O'clock, an hour later than he asked me to meet him. Hes standing there in a all black , the sleeves to his shirt folded to just below his elbows. The dark blue of the sky lights his features softly as he grins slightly when I step out of my car.

" I was starting to think you were standing me up." He grabs my hand and spins me slowly in a circle. " You look beautiful."

"Really? Cause I feel like crap." I move my hand out of his and pull it to my side.

" Most girls would just say thank you." He clears his throat then opens the passenger door to his car for me .

" Well I'm not most girls." I smile politeley at him.

"Thank god for that." The door closes swiftly after I settle into the seat and he makes his way to the drivers seat and starts the car up before I'm even done buckling in.

"Do you go to Marshall?" I might as well try and start a conversation here.

" High school? Yeah. I started yesterday." He turns the radio station and lowers the music a little more. " I was waiting for the questions, like how did I find you? What happened the night I saved you? and your boyfriend got his panties in a bunch... you know questions like that."

"Hes not my boyfriend." I'm pretty sure I already mentioned this.

" No. Ofcourse hes not, because if he was you wouldn't be here... with me." His lips part and he wets them slightly then looks at me. "The questions?"

" Oh, right." I wonder how stupid I must of looked just now looking at him like Ive never seen a guy before. To be fair Ive seen many guys ofcourse but none ever quiet like him. " Well each question you just proposed Id like if you'd answer them, please."

"Okay question one." His fingers tap on the steering wheel in time with the beat of the song on the radio. " I found you because like I said , I started at Marshall high school yesterday and I have you for lunch. Question two when I pulled you from your suicide attempt I accidentally let you slip from my hands cause "Jared" your none boyfriend scared me."

" You dropped me because Jared scared you ?"

"Sure and I'm sorry for it." He looks down and pulls the clutch back to park the car. "But you seem fine, no serious damage to your head." His laugh is musical and enthralling. "Come on, the music sounds great from out here imagine how good it sounds from inside."

The music from the no name alternative band is blaring through the whole club. His stare is fixated on the band but his mind seems elsewhere as if he's deep in thought. The only time he breaks away from the music is when he leans over to me and asks me a simple question about how I'm liking the band or do I want something to drink. I feel severely out of place standing next to him. I'm trying to step away from him a bit to avoid the embarrassment. There's all these girls staring at him, probably wondering why hes not with them if he can do so much better than me, but each time I stray a bit he pulls me back and wraps his arm around mine." Lets go." He looks around once more as if looking for somebody then walks in front of me holding my hand as he swiftly maneuvers out of the crowd.

"Whats going on? " My feet stumble after him when he gently releases my hand.

"Nothing, I just really want to talk with you and that's not exactly a good place to get to know someone." His hands slide into his pockets and he doesn't say a word as he walks backwards. He doesn't have to say a thing and somehow I'm following him a like a puppy. "Come on." He turns his back toward me and walks away from the club toward a rocky area. His feet land softly on each rock as he makes his way down. This comes naturally to me as I follow behind him not making much more sound than him each time I land. " Wow I'm impressed for a girl wearing a skirt, you could not have made that look any easier." He reaches his hand out for me on the last big jump and pulls me down toward him.

"I'm use to treading uneven ground." I straighten up and smooth down my skirt. The moon is bright on the ocean. How did we get here? I look back at the rocks we jumped down from. I didn't know we were that close to the ocean. The waves are more calm tonight seeming more navy blue than black. The wind moves my hair softly in its direction and the ocean mist moves with it. I can feel his stare burning on the side of my face but I can't back look at him. The thought of meeting his eyes with mine chills me to the bone. "Its beautiful."

"I agree." Theres a mystery to his voice the tone of a lie almost. My mind blanks up when I look toward him and lock eyes with his. I cant think of anything but the way they're softly turning from brown to a low amber. Just the way Jared's turn from hazel to brown. Jared, a stab of guilt hits me as I hear his name in my mind."Are you okay?" Brendon lightly brushes his hand against my arm.

"I'm fine." Lying comes easy to me. I'm fine is what Ive always said when asked if I was okay and ever since Jess disappeared that's all everyone seemed to ask for a while. I can feel my expression sadden at the thought of Jess. Losing my best friend has been way too hard for way too long. " Can you take me back to my truck?" Before he answers I head toward the rocks .I don't hear his footsteps and I look back toward him. Hes standing there both fists balled up looking down at his feet. " Please?" His tense state is putting me on the edge.I put one hand on the rock and push up.

"Laila." There's a icy tone to his voice. My muscles freeze up against my will and I jump back down and stand facing him.

"Yes?"

He still looking down it seems he hasn't even moved. I'm not sure if its just my eyes but he looks like hes slightly nodding his head. As if disagreeing then agreeing with himself. I have to admit if my brain were still in charge at this point Id run but I feel immobile. After a few short seconds he looks up his eyes a dull brown.

"Be careful with those rocks. I'll go first then pull you up." He flashes a weak smile then jumps up off the ground and pulls himself up effortlessly. " Come." He reaches his hand toward me.
*
As my truck pulls in to view I feel a mix wanting to hurry up and get the hell out of this car away from this odd boy and a want to stay with him. To learn more about him. His hands are clutched on the wheel making his already pale knuckles burn white.The awkward silence continues. An awkward silence he seems to be fine with.

"Thank you, I had a nice time." Which is not entirely a lie.

"No problem."

I push his door open and get out quickly shutting it and heading toward my truck.That has got to be one of the most awkward nights of my life. For some reason he seemed... angry? Maybe he thinks I'm a prick for arriving late then cutting the night short. Who knows,all I know is Ive got to get back home before my father finds out I'm not there.
***

"If someone told you they would be gone for a while. How long would you think a while is?" the clanking of my fathers spoon against his bowl has been the only noise this whole morning.

"I'm not sure it depends." He keeps reading the newspaper not looking up at me.

"On what?"

"I'm not sure." So hes not sure because it depends but hes not even sure what it would depend on. I like how much he cares to answer my question.

"Makes sense." My sarcastic tone must have gotten across to him because hes put the paper down and put his full attention on me.

"Why? Why do you ask?"

"I'm not sure." I look down and put a spoon full of cereals into my mouth.

"Okay I was being rude, I get it. I'm sorry."...

"Do you ever miss Jessica?"

"Really Laila? Do you have to bring your sister up now? Because now really isn't the time." The legs of his chair slide against the tile as he pushes out and walks toward the sink with his bowl.

"Well when is the time, dad? Because if I ask you tomorrow I bet it still wont be the time. You never talk about her! You act like she never existed." Hes leaning against the sink his back toward me. "Why did you tell me that she meant to leave ?"

"Because."

"Because what dad?!" Still no answer. I'm tired of everybody not giving me answers."Answer me."

"Because I was hurt and I was tired of seeing you cry all the time. God dammit Laila just because I don't always talk about her doesn't mean I'm pretending she didn't exist. She was my little girl and just like I love you I loved her with all I have but shes gone now so..."

For the first time in a long time I could hear emotion in his voice. His eyes are glistening with the water of oncoming tears but he wipes them before they even have a chance to fall.

"Dad, I'm sorry." I feel horrible for all the times I made him out to be heartless.

"Just- Ive got to go to work. Get to school." He grabs his jacket then leaves the kitchen.
***

"I take it you don't make friends?" I wasn't really expecting to see him when I looked up but for some reason my stomach did that flippy thing it does everytime I'm nervous.

"I guess not."

"Well then I guess me and you are just the same." His smile is contagious." We can be each others friends."

"Sounds fun."

"It will be." He takes a bite out of his apple then sets it down and starts drumming on the table. I jump up a bit when he starts laughing out loud suddenly." OH! Laila! You're a RIOT!" He practically yells it to the whole cafeteria then smiles and winks at a girl who has been staring at us like were aliens.

"What the hell is wrong with you ?" I whisper trying to hide my embarrassment at the fact that now everyone is staring at us.

"A lot but we cant into that now because well be here forever and I don't think you have forever."

"Oh yeah right and you do." I roll my eyes sarcastically. He grins and leans back into his chair as if my sarcastic comment brought to mind an inside joke.

"You're absolutely perfect."

"What are you talking about? For what?" Hes so weird. The last time I saw him it looked as if he was about to kill somebody and now hes all chipper and sunny.

"For me." He replies coolly then leans forward closer to me.

"For you? I'm sorry Brendon but you are sadly mistakened." Now hes just plain insane. The bell rings and I grab my back pack and head toward the cafeteria doors.
*

"So you don't like me?" His hand closes my locker and he moves closer to me.

"This isn't fifth grade." Our brown eyes meet again except this time I'm able to keep my composure.

"I know, its high school and I'm asking you a simple question. Listen, I know I may have came on too strong back there but I really think we should get to know each other."

"Whatever."

"Great." He grabs my back pack and walks besides."I'm pretty sure everyone at this school has a staring problem." He says through a smile as we pass all the kids in the hallway.

"Maybe so." As if I wasn't already enough of an outsider or just the girl they called "Jessica's little sister" now I'm the "girl that hangs out with that weird new kid " either way it was going to be put it wasn't going to be fun.
*
"So where are we going?" I can hear the smile in his voice.

"I'm going on home. You, I don't know where you're going."

"Well I don't know either, do you want to just hang out?" Before I know it hes in front of me his back against my truck door.

" How the hell do you do that ? and to answer your question no thank you. Now If you'll please excuse me I have to get home."

"Well to answer your question, I don't know how I do that it just happens."

"Good for you." I really wish this guy would now just disappear. I move him slightly and he stumbles away dramatically.

"You could have just said excuse me." He smiles when he catches his footing which was never really lost to begin with.

"What is it that you want with me!?" I didn't really mean to shout but I'm glad it came out that way.

"Whoa! You don't need to shout. I'm just trying to be a friend. This whole "I don't need anybody" thing you put up, its getting old."

"What are you talking about ? You don't know me!" Assholes these days.

"Oh but I do." The cocky tone I expected isn't present when he says this.It was more as if he was saying this to himself than me.

"Excuse me?" I turn slowly to look back at him.

"I'm just saying if you ever need to talk... I'm here, I'll listen." And for the first time since Ive known this guy his words didn't sound fake or scripted, they sounded sincere and un- guarded.

"Thank you."

"Ive got to go." He looks toward the forest just east of the school and heads back to his car.

"Bye." My voice comes out as a whisper behind him.Hes such and odd person , definitely not what I pictured my savior to be . His eyes are so different now then they were that night I first stared into them.
*

A thought is a funny thing because it could start off as just a playful one then turn into a serious idea. And in my new world I'm learning not to dismiss anything as just a playful or stupid thought. Maybe I'm not the only one putting up a front here , maybe there's something more I should know about this stranger... I mean Brendon. Maybe just maybe.