All for Eternity
Secrets.
*Two months later*
Its a piece of crap! Another swift kick to the side of my truck ought to show it that its not cool to break down on me.
"Dad I want it, she says! Dad its so awesome, she says!" Recalling the day I bought my "work of art" is just making me more upset with it.
" I should have been saying no dad, its a fixer upper and I want a new one!" But I'm always one to try and see the beauty in everything and my 1950 ford was something I wanted to see it in, UNDER all the damn rust of course. I should have just gone for the newer models instead of trying to be interesting.The rainy day is dimming and as always my cell phone is dead, Way to go Laila. I don't even have the slightest clue where I'm at and the saddest part is I drove all this way because I was getting impatient waiting for Jared to come back and I thought maybe if I drove far enough I'd find him and make him take me to Jessica. Stupid ideas,stupid truck with its stupid owner, stupid dark forest and all its scary noises, stupid-
"You okay?" His voice is a low whisper.
Brendon? What the hell is he doing here. Id be embarrassed with the way I'm curled up into fetal position, wet from the rain and covered in dirt but I cant really feel my body at the moment. Seems going out in rain mixed with 40 degree Fahrenheit weather without a jacket is a bad idea.
"I'm fine." My words are low and meek considering I yelled my lungs out at the truck about thirty minutes ago.
"What are you doing out here?" He pulls me toward his chest and wraps his jacket around me."Wow, You're burning up. How long have you been out here?" There's an alarm in his whispering tone and a nervousness in his eyes as he looks around in the dark lifting me up and quickly walking toward his car.
"I'm following the yellow brick road." The motion of his fast walk makes my stomach unsettle and cant even think straight from the huge headache I've caused myself.
"Very funny." His hands move fast over me buckling me into the seat.
"Wait, What are we doing? I cant just leave my truck here." With each word my throat seems to ache just that much more.
" Don't worry about it. We've got to get away from here."
"But!"
"Listen to me." His cold hand feels like a relief when he places them on each side of my face, holding it between them. "Don't worry, I'll come back for it okay?" His eyes are a bright amber the same amber that burned up the sky that night he saved me. I cant even speak at this point so I just nod in agreement then watch as he blurs away along with all my surroundings.
*
"Brendon." His name escapes my lips waking me from my sleep. My room is dimly lit by a small nightlight in the corner and its cool very cool like the night Jared was here. "Jared?" My heart races at the thought, At the fact that he might be back and I might be able to now see Jess. He owes me that much after being gone for two freaking months.
"Calm down, Your fever just broke a while ago you need to take it easy." When I finally adjust to the darkness I can see his eyes dimly glowing in the darkness. The Gray outline of them is shining silver. Wait ...what ?.
"Oh my god, Brendon whats going on with your eyes?"
"Its raining." his brow furrows as he pats a damp face towel on my head.
"Okay, but what does that have to do with your eyes?" He stops patting then moves his hand away.Hes looking down now , quite and still.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come out that way. It just... intrigues me." I feel a slight dizziness as I sit up and put my hand under his chin turning his face toward me again."Do they turn like this when it rains?" His expression is saddened. "Are you okay Bren?"
"Tell me about your sister?" He takes my hand in his and holds it putting his lips to it.
If this were two months ago I most likely would have walked away from him or changed the subject in a rude manner but for some reason its different now. He was right it was fun being his friend and as idiotic as it sounds I enjoy every second of his company. I love listening to the things he enjoys like rain and the wake of the morning. Waking up each day seems worth while knowing Id get to school and see him there waiting for me with his hands in his pockets and his cocky smile.
"There's really not much to tell. We were close for so long then one day she just... left." I can feel the familiar sting build up in my eyes. "Even after she promised she never would, she did." The warmth of the tears streak my face as I wipe at them. I feel weak crying in front of him or anybody for that matter.I close my eyes to try and block out the memory. The coldness comes closer and I feel his arms wrap around me.
"Its okay." He whispers to me rocking back and forth softly."I'm sure she had a reason." His lips press against my forehead, his embrace is unbelievably comforting.He smells like a waterfall and peppermint... Pretty weird mixture of things to smell like but it just works ." I promise, I'm going to make everything okay." I'm not sure what he means by that but right now I don't even want to fight the fact that hes in my personal space. I just want to cry."Laila, I..."
"Yeah?" I pull away a little from him just enough to be able to look at him. His eyes are still a low amber and with a silver lining.I'm guessing its due to the storm. He stares at me quietly with a rueful look on his face.A look of desperation in his eyes as if hes pleading for me to know something to figure it all out. And I wish I could, but I'm afraid of what I might find when I throw away the ignorance I've been blinding myself with.
"I have to tell you something." He breathes in deep and exhales softly. "I'm not what you think I am... I'm -"
"I know."
"What?"
"I know what you're going to say and I just want to tell you that I know, I'm not ignorant Brendon.Ive already figured this out once before."
"Jared?" His eyes dim to a brown.
"Yeah." I might as well just say the truth because if hes anything like Jared he probably knows everything already. "Why did you say it like that?" Either its just me or he really did seem to get a little infuriated at Jared's name.
"No reason." He lets his hold on me go completely and walks towards my window. "Ive got to go, Ill see you at school tomorrow."
"Um-" Well that was nice he jumped out before I even got a chance to say goodbye. Did he say school? My phones calender says its Sunday but when I last was awake it was Friday afternoon. Had I really been out that long? Crazy.
***
My drive to school seemed longer than usual and I couldn't wait to pull up in the parking lot and see him standing there which he was , it just wasn't the he I was thinking of.
"Jared?" The wind chill hits me as I walk toward him.He doesn't look too happy , he's leaning against his car both hands crossed on his chest. I feel like a little child ready to be scolded for doing something wrong.
"Miss me?" His angry expression fades into a little smile.
"You said you would be gone a while! Not two freaking months!" My fist bangs meekly against his chest causing him to let out a boisterous laugh.
"I said a while NOT a little while."He pulls me into a bear hug.
"What a great guardian you are."
"Oh You're fine! You're alive aren't you ?" My feet touch the ground and I feel relief at the thought of not being hugged to death.
"Where were you?"
"That's for me to know and you to never find out." His arm is now around my shoulders as he walks me toward the school.
"Douche."
"I know."
"What about Jess-" I try to jump on the subject as fast as I can. I'm tired of wasting time.
"Well talk later cause right now you've got to get to class." He gives me a slight nudge then walks away. Really? I swear with him he just got back and I already want to wring his neck again . Stupid Vampire and his "I'm being mysterious" ways. As soon as his car disappears I'm left alone wondering where the hec my other vampire is at. Did Brendon know Jared was back and is that why he wasn't in the parking lot.I guess Ill just have to wait till lunch to find out.
***
"Do you want to go for a ride?" Its the first time Ive seen Brendon all day his eyes are a dark brown and don't seem alive at all.
"Sure." I grab my things and walk after him exiting the cafeteria into the lot."Where are we going ?"
"Somewhere where we can talk."
His eyes never leave the road and he doesn't say a word the whole drive . I feel so out of place, I don't know exactly what I'm doing and what are the consequences. I can smell the mist of the ocean and instantly know where we are headed.As soon as the he parks the car he heads off toward the ocean. I hurry out of the car and walk fast after him.
"Its all wrong." He puts his hands in his hair and stands facing the ocean.
"What is?" I'm so confused and I hate the feeling.
"Everything, Laila."
"Well there is a lot of everything, can you be specific ?"
"This." In the blink of an eye hes standing in front me holding my hands in his.
"You holding my hands?"
"No Laila... the way I feel when I'm near you."
"Which is how?" Everything coming out of my mouth at this point seems to be a question.He hesitates for a minute then brings me closer to him .
"I love you." He keeps his eyes on my lips.
"...And that's wrong?"
"Yes." My heart feels heavy at the sound of it. Why would loving me be wrong.
"Oh." I look away trying to hide the fact that it hurts more than it should.
"Its wrong because Ive been -"
"I love you too." The words slip out and it feels like a free fall. I didn't want to say them but I figured it was now or never even if it was wrong to feel this way.
"What?"He stops talking and steps closer to me.
"I said I love you too." He places his lips gently on mine and kisses me once then pulls away."And that's all that matters."
"Okay."he whispers his eyes closed."Okay." He says it once more as if reassuring himself.
I don't know what I'm doing and why but what I do know is I'm in love with him and when were together time feels infinite even if its not, for me anyhow. I'm lost when hes not around .
***
I slam my truck door shut and run toward the clearing where Jared is standing. The space where my fathers car should be is empty he must still be at work.
"Are you finally going to tell me the truth?" I smile.
"Are you? " His voice is harsh. I immediately freeze when I see someone standing behind him.
"What?" My throat goes dry because I know exactly what hes talking about.
"How could you? I told you not to speak to anyone and you knew damn well that I meant him." He walks closer to me but the person behind him stays put.
"Why? Whats wrong with him?" I take a step back, this certainly caught me off guard.
"Hes not good for you!" He lifts my chin up facing my stare toward him."And this is stopping right now. Do you understand?"
"Who are you to tell my what is and isn't good for me . You're not my father! You have no authority to tell me what to do!" I can feel my face burning red.
"You think he loves you ?" Jared seethes."Hes using you! Its all part of their plan!"
"What are you talking about who's they?!" My tears are falling fast now.
"Enough!Jared stop yelling at her." The person standing behind finally speaks up. His voice is calm yet demanding.He walks towards me and Jared, his eyes a vibrant green. I feel a hint of anger when I remember who he is. He looks exactly the same as the night I saw him last,the night before Jess disappeared."Can we come in?" He gestures toward my house.I stand there a frown on the edge of my lips."I'll take that as a yes." He smiles then walks passed me.They take a seat at the kitchen table and I stand against the wall facing them."What did he tell you ?" Jensen is looking down at his hands .
"About what?"
"Everything!" Jared intervenes looking at me as if I'm the bad guy.
"Wheres Jessica?" Since everyone is asking questions here I might as well too.
"That's not the topic at hand right now." Jared rolls his eyes.
"Well if you're not going to answer any of my questions then fuck it I'm not answering any of yours." I head toward the door and swing it open walking out into the now heavy rain. My heart drops when I see her standing there. Her eyes a bright sapphire; silver lining the outside of them.I turn back to see Jensen and Jared; both their eyes bright and lined as well.This has got to be a dream. Her long black hair is so dark its almost blue the wind kicks up moving it every which way. Her pale skin is lit by the lightning . Her crimson lips part and she whispers something in audible ...
"Jess?"
Its a piece of crap! Another swift kick to the side of my truck ought to show it that its not cool to break down on me.
"Dad I want it, she says! Dad its so awesome, she says!" Recalling the day I bought my "work of art" is just making me more upset with it.
" I should have been saying no dad, its a fixer upper and I want a new one!" But I'm always one to try and see the beauty in everything and my 1950 ford was something I wanted to see it in, UNDER all the damn rust of course. I should have just gone for the newer models instead of trying to be interesting.The rainy day is dimming and as always my cell phone is dead, Way to go Laila. I don't even have the slightest clue where I'm at and the saddest part is I drove all this way because I was getting impatient waiting for Jared to come back and I thought maybe if I drove far enough I'd find him and make him take me to Jessica. Stupid ideas,stupid truck with its stupid owner, stupid dark forest and all its scary noises, stupid-
"You okay?" His voice is a low whisper.
Brendon? What the hell is he doing here. Id be embarrassed with the way I'm curled up into fetal position, wet from the rain and covered in dirt but I cant really feel my body at the moment. Seems going out in rain mixed with 40 degree Fahrenheit weather without a jacket is a bad idea.
"I'm fine." My words are low and meek considering I yelled my lungs out at the truck about thirty minutes ago.
"What are you doing out here?" He pulls me toward his chest and wraps his jacket around me."Wow, You're burning up. How long have you been out here?" There's an alarm in his whispering tone and a nervousness in his eyes as he looks around in the dark lifting me up and quickly walking toward his car.
"I'm following the yellow brick road." The motion of his fast walk makes my stomach unsettle and cant even think straight from the huge headache I've caused myself.
"Very funny." His hands move fast over me buckling me into the seat.
"Wait, What are we doing? I cant just leave my truck here." With each word my throat seems to ache just that much more.
" Don't worry about it. We've got to get away from here."
"But!"
"Listen to me." His cold hand feels like a relief when he places them on each side of my face, holding it between them. "Don't worry, I'll come back for it okay?" His eyes are a bright amber the same amber that burned up the sky that night he saved me. I cant even speak at this point so I just nod in agreement then watch as he blurs away along with all my surroundings.
*
"Brendon." His name escapes my lips waking me from my sleep. My room is dimly lit by a small nightlight in the corner and its cool very cool like the night Jared was here. "Jared?" My heart races at the thought, At the fact that he might be back and I might be able to now see Jess. He owes me that much after being gone for two freaking months.
"Calm down, Your fever just broke a while ago you need to take it easy." When I finally adjust to the darkness I can see his eyes dimly glowing in the darkness. The Gray outline of them is shining silver. Wait ...what ?.
"Oh my god, Brendon whats going on with your eyes?"
"Its raining." his brow furrows as he pats a damp face towel on my head.
"Okay, but what does that have to do with your eyes?" He stops patting then moves his hand away.Hes looking down now , quite and still.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come out that way. It just... intrigues me." I feel a slight dizziness as I sit up and put my hand under his chin turning his face toward me again."Do they turn like this when it rains?" His expression is saddened. "Are you okay Bren?"
"Tell me about your sister?" He takes my hand in his and holds it putting his lips to it.
If this were two months ago I most likely would have walked away from him or changed the subject in a rude manner but for some reason its different now. He was right it was fun being his friend and as idiotic as it sounds I enjoy every second of his company. I love listening to the things he enjoys like rain and the wake of the morning. Waking up each day seems worth while knowing Id get to school and see him there waiting for me with his hands in his pockets and his cocky smile.
"There's really not much to tell. We were close for so long then one day she just... left." I can feel the familiar sting build up in my eyes. "Even after she promised she never would, she did." The warmth of the tears streak my face as I wipe at them. I feel weak crying in front of him or anybody for that matter.I close my eyes to try and block out the memory. The coldness comes closer and I feel his arms wrap around me.
"Its okay." He whispers to me rocking back and forth softly."I'm sure she had a reason." His lips press against my forehead, his embrace is unbelievably comforting.He smells like a waterfall and peppermint... Pretty weird mixture of things to smell like but it just works ." I promise, I'm going to make everything okay." I'm not sure what he means by that but right now I don't even want to fight the fact that hes in my personal space. I just want to cry."Laila, I..."
"Yeah?" I pull away a little from him just enough to be able to look at him. His eyes are still a low amber and with a silver lining.I'm guessing its due to the storm. He stares at me quietly with a rueful look on his face.A look of desperation in his eyes as if hes pleading for me to know something to figure it all out. And I wish I could, but I'm afraid of what I might find when I throw away the ignorance I've been blinding myself with.
"I have to tell you something." He breathes in deep and exhales softly. "I'm not what you think I am... I'm -"
"I know."
"What?"
"I know what you're going to say and I just want to tell you that I know, I'm not ignorant Brendon.Ive already figured this out once before."
"Jared?" His eyes dim to a brown.
"Yeah." I might as well just say the truth because if hes anything like Jared he probably knows everything already. "Why did you say it like that?" Either its just me or he really did seem to get a little infuriated at Jared's name.
"No reason." He lets his hold on me go completely and walks towards my window. "Ive got to go, Ill see you at school tomorrow."
"Um-" Well that was nice he jumped out before I even got a chance to say goodbye. Did he say school? My phones calender says its Sunday but when I last was awake it was Friday afternoon. Had I really been out that long? Crazy.
***
My drive to school seemed longer than usual and I couldn't wait to pull up in the parking lot and see him standing there which he was , it just wasn't the he I was thinking of.
"Jared?" The wind chill hits me as I walk toward him.He doesn't look too happy , he's leaning against his car both hands crossed on his chest. I feel like a little child ready to be scolded for doing something wrong.
"Miss me?" His angry expression fades into a little smile.
"You said you would be gone a while! Not two freaking months!" My fist bangs meekly against his chest causing him to let out a boisterous laugh.
"I said a while NOT a little while."He pulls me into a bear hug.
"What a great guardian you are."
"Oh You're fine! You're alive aren't you ?" My feet touch the ground and I feel relief at the thought of not being hugged to death.
"Where were you?"
"That's for me to know and you to never find out." His arm is now around my shoulders as he walks me toward the school.
"Douche."
"I know."
"What about Jess-" I try to jump on the subject as fast as I can. I'm tired of wasting time.
"Well talk later cause right now you've got to get to class." He gives me a slight nudge then walks away. Really? I swear with him he just got back and I already want to wring his neck again . Stupid Vampire and his "I'm being mysterious" ways. As soon as his car disappears I'm left alone wondering where the hec my other vampire is at. Did Brendon know Jared was back and is that why he wasn't in the parking lot.I guess Ill just have to wait till lunch to find out.
***
"Do you want to go for a ride?" Its the first time Ive seen Brendon all day his eyes are a dark brown and don't seem alive at all.
"Sure." I grab my things and walk after him exiting the cafeteria into the lot."Where are we going ?"
"Somewhere where we can talk."
His eyes never leave the road and he doesn't say a word the whole drive . I feel so out of place, I don't know exactly what I'm doing and what are the consequences. I can smell the mist of the ocean and instantly know where we are headed.As soon as the he parks the car he heads off toward the ocean. I hurry out of the car and walk fast after him.
"Its all wrong." He puts his hands in his hair and stands facing the ocean.
"What is?" I'm so confused and I hate the feeling.
"Everything, Laila."
"Well there is a lot of everything, can you be specific ?"
"This." In the blink of an eye hes standing in front me holding my hands in his.
"You holding my hands?"
"No Laila... the way I feel when I'm near you."
"Which is how?" Everything coming out of my mouth at this point seems to be a question.He hesitates for a minute then brings me closer to him .
"I love you." He keeps his eyes on my lips.
"...And that's wrong?"
"Yes." My heart feels heavy at the sound of it. Why would loving me be wrong.
"Oh." I look away trying to hide the fact that it hurts more than it should.
"Its wrong because Ive been -"
"I love you too." The words slip out and it feels like a free fall. I didn't want to say them but I figured it was now or never even if it was wrong to feel this way.
"What?"He stops talking and steps closer to me.
"I said I love you too." He places his lips gently on mine and kisses me once then pulls away."And that's all that matters."
"Okay."he whispers his eyes closed."Okay." He says it once more as if reassuring himself.
I don't know what I'm doing and why but what I do know is I'm in love with him and when were together time feels infinite even if its not, for me anyhow. I'm lost when hes not around .
***
I slam my truck door shut and run toward the clearing where Jared is standing. The space where my fathers car should be is empty he must still be at work.
"Are you finally going to tell me the truth?" I smile.
"Are you? " His voice is harsh. I immediately freeze when I see someone standing behind him.
"What?" My throat goes dry because I know exactly what hes talking about.
"How could you? I told you not to speak to anyone and you knew damn well that I meant him." He walks closer to me but the person behind him stays put.
"Why? Whats wrong with him?" I take a step back, this certainly caught me off guard.
"Hes not good for you!" He lifts my chin up facing my stare toward him."And this is stopping right now. Do you understand?"
"Who are you to tell my what is and isn't good for me . You're not my father! You have no authority to tell me what to do!" I can feel my face burning red.
"You think he loves you ?" Jared seethes."Hes using you! Its all part of their plan!"
"What are you talking about who's they?!" My tears are falling fast now.
"Enough!Jared stop yelling at her." The person standing behind finally speaks up. His voice is calm yet demanding.He walks towards me and Jared, his eyes a vibrant green. I feel a hint of anger when I remember who he is. He looks exactly the same as the night I saw him last,the night before Jess disappeared."Can we come in?" He gestures toward my house.I stand there a frown on the edge of my lips."I'll take that as a yes." He smiles then walks passed me.They take a seat at the kitchen table and I stand against the wall facing them."What did he tell you ?" Jensen is looking down at his hands .
"About what?"
"Everything!" Jared intervenes looking at me as if I'm the bad guy.
"Wheres Jessica?" Since everyone is asking questions here I might as well too.
"That's not the topic at hand right now." Jared rolls his eyes.
"Well if you're not going to answer any of my questions then fuck it I'm not answering any of yours." I head toward the door and swing it open walking out into the now heavy rain. My heart drops when I see her standing there. Her eyes a bright sapphire; silver lining the outside of them.I turn back to see Jensen and Jared; both their eyes bright and lined as well.This has got to be a dream. Her long black hair is so dark its almost blue the wind kicks up moving it every which way. Her pale skin is lit by the lightning . Her crimson lips part and she whispers something in audible ...
"Jess?"