Ghosts We Carry Home.

“I still don’t get it,” I said.

“Get what?” Jack asked me. He took a towel and started to dry his hair.

“How Alex can feel me, but still doesn’t realize that I’m dead,” I explained.

“I don’t get it either,” Jack shrugged.

“Ah well, it doesn’t really matter,” I said. “What does matter is how you are going to tell Alex you see ghosts.”

Jack sighed and put his towel away.

“I don’t know. We’ll see.”

“You’re really positive about this, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Jack said.

“Why?”

“Because I know Alex is very open-minded and that he will believe it.”

“Oh.”

It was all I could say. Oh.

“You really did jump to the wrong conclusions,” Jack said. I didn’t really understand what he was talking about. Jack noticed this and smiled.

“About me wanting you to stay with Alex. You’re so dramatic.”

“What? It’s possible.”

“I’m not like that, Mel. You should’ve known that by now.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

I rolled my eyes and looked at Jack.

“Are you done, madam?” I asked when he took the towel again.

“Oh, I’ll miss the teasing,” Jack said with a dreamy voice.

“Oh, I’ll miss the big nose,” I said with the same dreamy voice.

“Hey, my nose is not big!” Jack grinned.

“Of course not, sweetie,” I said with a smile.

“I’ll miss you,” Jack mentioned after a short silence.

“I’m not even gone yet,” I said softly.

“I know. But you will leave soon.”

“Jack,” I started to say. I didn’t know what I wanted to say, I didn’t find the right words.

“It’s time to see Alex, I think,” Jack said.

“It is, isn’t it?”

Jack nodded. I jumped of the table I was sitting on and followed Jack as he walked to Alex’s room in silence. Jack took a deep breath, opened the door and walked in.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” Alex smiled. His smile was so beautiful. He looked so happy.

“I have to tell you some things.”

“Did you find the girl I told you about?” Alex guessed. His eyes were twinkling so much. He looked hopeful. It hurt me.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered. Jack looked at me, but didn’t say a thing.

“Sort of,” he said to Alex.

“Who is she?” Alex demanded. “Do you have a picture of her?”

“No,” Jack said.

“I have a facebook,” I said to Jack. It suddenly popped in my mind. “Show him a picture from my facebook. Please.”

“Yes, I have a picture of her,” Jack corrected himself. He took Alex’s laptop from the table and started to type something.

“What’s her name?” Alex asked.

“Melanie,” Jack answered.

“Melanie,” Alex repeated with a smile. “Melanie.”

“Is this her?” Jack asked to Alex. He turned the laptop towards him and waited.

“Yes, that’s her! How did you find her?”

I sighed, and so did Jack. The hardest part was waiting to be told.

“I know her,” Jack said.

“Really? I didn’t know that. What’s she like?”

“She’s amazing. The most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

Jack looked at me with a little, watery smile.

“Alex, I have to tell you something about Melanie,” Jack said with a soft voice. “She’s not what you think she is.”

“I don’t understand,” Alex said.

“She’s dead. She died about a month ago.”

“What?”

Alex’s face changed from extremely delighted to extremely shocked. I buried my head in my hands and didn’t look at Alex. I was afraid.

“She’s dead,” Jack repeated. I dropped my hands and looked at him. He was crying.

“You’re lying,” Alex said. His face had a new expression. Pain.

“I’m not.”

“No!” Alex screamed. “No!”

“I’m really sorry, Alex.”

“No, this can’t be true. Tell me it’s not true. I want to talk to this girl, I want this girl to know me. I want Melanie to know me. I want to know her!”

“She knows you,” Jack said. “And you can talk to her.”

“Jack, I don’t understand.”

“Melanie’s here, her ghost is here. She’s standing right next to you.”

Alex looked next to him, to me. It must have been the first time that he really looked at me, directly at me.

“I can see ghosts,” Jack said before Alex could say anything else.

“Excuse me?! Since when? How?”

“I don’t know,” Jack said. “It just happened, I guess.”

“Are you fooling me?” Alex asked. He looked a little bit angry.

“No, I wouldn’t dare to.”

“She's dead?”

Jack nodded.

“And she’s really here?” was Alex’s next question.

“Yes.”

I saw tears appearing in Alex’s eyes.

“Don’t cry, Alex. Please.”

“She doesn’t want you to cry,” Jack said.

“What? She wants me to smile?” Alex snapped at him.

“Yes,” I said. “I do want you to smile.”

Jack nodded again.

“Tell him I love him,” I said to Jack. “Please.”

“She loves you,” Jack said.

The tears were streaming down Alex’s face, and he nodded.

“Tell her I love her, too.”

Jack looked at me and wiped away his own tears.

“Did you tell her?” Alex asked unsure.

“No. She heard it when you said it.”

“How did you ...” Alex hesitated. “How did you find her?”

“I didn’t,” Jack answered. “She found me.”

There was a short pause, but it felt like it lasted for hours.

“Remember when we went to that meadow a few weeks ago, and that I was behaving bizarre when I returned from that forest?”

Alex was browsing through his memories, trying to remember that scene.

“Yes,” he said.

“That’s when I first saw her. I took her with me, and she hasn’t left ever since.”

“She has been here the entire time?”

“Yes,” Jack answered. “She has spent most of her time by your side.”

I was surprised that Jack could tell this to Alex so easily, and that Alex believed him. Perhaps, he really had known all along.

“She watched you cry, she sat next to you when you were writing songs, she talked to you when you were sleeping,” Jack continued.

“Is that why I dreamed of her?” Alex asked. “Because she was always there?”

“I think so,” Jack said.

“Is she still here?” Alex wanted to know.

“Of course,” Jack said. “But she’s very quiet and afraid.”

“She doesn’t have to be afraid,” Alex said.

“I know,” I said.

“She knows,” Jack said to Alex.
I didn’t know why I was afraid, I just was. I’d never been so frightened in my entire life.